Top 10 Films of 2011

This year was difficult to address. In 2010 I was able to have an unmatched favorite. This year I have a lot of favorites, but none that rise to the number one spot. Not like last year when I had a sure winner with The Social Network.

I compiled my grades for 2009 – 2011. Averaged each year's grades and got a clear indication of how awesome that year's films were based on my perfect opinion. The numbers within the parentheses show how many films I saw that year. Then there's the A+ and F. The numbers after them show how many films I gave that grade during that year.

2008 – B.2 (110) A+ = 7 F = 0

2009 – B.1 (98) A+ = 9 F = 1

2010 – B.4 (95) A+ = 8 F = 0

2011 – B -.7 (79) A+ = 1 F = 1

This shows how good 2008 and 2009 were, how awesome 2010 was and how terrible movies in 2011 was. I saw 16 films less in 2011 than in 2010 and 31 less than 2008. Proving how SUCKY this year has been for films. Look at the films nominated for Golden Globes. BORING.

This is my list of TOP 10 FILMS IN 2011.

10.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

JJ Rating: A

 Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint have been the Trinity of Harry Potter since the beginning. With each film, they’ve enhanced their characters that were once just words on a page. They put the final touches on the characters they’ve embodied for a decade, and it was a magical, final touch.

9.  Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol 

JJ Rating: A

There's so many fight scenes and every single one is AWEsome. This is the action movie of the year, not that crappy stupid Fast and Furious Infinity. And my opinion counts a thousand more than any whacked out duchebrain that liked that film as a great action film.

8.  Warrior 

JJ Rating: A-

The film is a male oriented. This isn't a feminized male film with faux emotions. This is how the male mind works. Very within. Less talking, more physical. The way the brothers talked, the way the father-son conversations went...it made sense to me. It worked so well. It didn't water it down like many films do.

7.  Super 8 

JJ Rating: B+

It created a time machine in my mind and brought my childhood back. Uber awesome.

 6.  The Muppets/Winnie the Pooh
JJ Rating: A
Without meaning too, Winnie the Pooh might be one of the funniest films this year. Not the funniest, but one of them. Its wit plays off well thought out events and lines. Some films this year are gross funny, haha for a moment. They’re forgetting that films are created for entertainment for years to come, more than just that moment.

JJ Rating: A+

Hearing and seeing the theme from “The Muppet Show” brought me back to when I was younger. It's a feeling of warmth (not the same as peeing on oneself) that not many things can bestow. It's a wholesome feeling. Very rare to feel that for any film that's out right now.

5.  Crazy, Stupid, Love

JJ Rating: A

Whoever did the trailer did a phenomenal job. It gave NOTHING away but the bare bones. So much goes on in this film that if any of it was given away in the trailer, then the film would have not been as great. 

4.  Captain America: The First Avenger

JJ Rating: A

Captain America welded together humor, action and drama as well as any superhero film, especially The Dark Knight, I say that because I never recalled feeling a tinge of sadness watching Batman, ever.

3.   X-Men: First Class

JJ Rating: A

The story. Fantastic. I had doubts about this film from the onset because it’s FIRST CLASS and there’s no Cyclops or Jean Grey. But they impressed me a lot. It was also impressive how they retold certain areas of X-Men lore that any X-Fan knows. I’m hardcore and still found the retelling as great as the original in the comics.

2.  Thor

JJ Rating: A

Thor is everything that a summer movie should be as well as a superhero movie should be. A standard that Marvel has created with Iron Man only to step it up with Thor the mighty Marvel movie that jumpstarts Summer with a fresh bolt of refreshing lightning. The God of Thunder trumps the silver screen. One can only imagine how great Captain America will be when it arrives. I use to think that Captain America was the one to watch out for, and I still do, but now it has to outdo Thor. And the only way it can do that is by inviting me to the premiere of Captain America. So not joking.

1.  50/50

JJ Rating: A

It has a lot of humanity in it. If I were to offer up films to aliens who didn't know about humans films to bring them up to speed, I'd pick this one.

Honorable Mentions

The Help
Atlas Shrugged

Cars 2

Limitless

Rise of thePlanet of the Apes

Source Code

Bridesmaids 

In a year that had a plethora of crap released week after week, it was hard to compile the worst without including 80% of the films I reviewed. I narrowed it down to ten. Most (if not all) were rated from D+ down to F.

10 WORST FILMS OF 2011

10.  Cowboys & Aliens

JJ Rating: D+

4. The idea was better in conception than birth. 
7. I almost fell asleep...many times. 

9.  Unknown

JJ Rating: D+

Unknown should have not only stayed that way, but I shouldn’t have ever sat there and watch it.

8.  Ides of March

JJ Rating: D+

Two white men running in the Democratic Primary? Really? How the hell is that creative? Movies are fantasy. They are not really reality and if you're bound by what is real, you will get nowhere fast. I cannot believe a party of HOPE AND CHANGE would go for just two white men. Just a tad bit of creativity. A woman. A black woman. An Asian woman. A gay man. Two white men...is so every President since before Obama. 

7.  In Time

JJ Rating: D+

Cruddy writing. I cannot believe someone read this and went OMG I's gotta do this. Morons. It was so boring. The lines were cruddy. They lines were cliché. The lines stunk of uncreative mind.

6.  Beastly

JJ Rating: D+

 It’s worse (and I know some people think that’s not possible) thanThe Last Airbender.

5.  Red Riding Hood

JJ Rating: D

Red Riding Hood is boring and not thrilling and I wouldn’t ever want to see it again. The script is bland and I can’t remember a single line from it. I don’t even want to remember a single line from it. 

4.  Paul

JJ Rating: D

I watched. I waited. I watched. I waited. However, the humor never really came. A few chuckles here and there, but nothing worth remembering. It lacked anything original and had everything an angry atheist could dream of. They poked fun at rednecks. Oh wait, I’ve never seen that before. In. My. Life. Wow. So new. So creative. So funny---if this were the 90’s.

3.  Sucker Punch

JJ Rating: D

I bought the storyline. As in, I didn’t find it silly or cheesy. The problem was that the story I watched bored me to tears. TEARS….of pain and sorrow. I wanted to sleep. I did. 

2.  Your Highness

JJ Rating: D-

The only reason Your Highness didn’t get a F is because I’m nice. And that’s rare. Thank James Franco and Natalie Portman.

1.  Breaking Dawn Pt. 1

JJ Rating: F-

OMG, the back and forth with the I love you, no I love you, NO I LOVE YOU a lot...was disgusting. Every time they kissed I wanted to not throw up. I tried really hard not to throw up. This film literally made me sick to my stomach. It should be illegal that so many cliches were able to congregate in one film. And the person that allows it should be shot, a lot...in the face.

2011 was mainly forgettable. The terrible movies will be forgotten. My Top 10 are awesome, but it's unfair that they were released in such a dismal and boring year for film.

On to 2012.

On to the Golden Globes were I'll whine about the crappy nominees and how Thor, Captain America and X-Men First Class were ignored for the talents that made them great. Not to mention the blatant ignoring of Winnie the Pooh. It was far better than at least one of the nominees in Best Animated Film. Not to mention these dumb people's need to nominate crap that no one sees. If you want to do that, take it off the air. And what's up with not nominating Tom Hiddleston for best Supporting Actor? Stupid.

Then on to the Oscars, only, I'm sure, to be disappointed by their lack of nominating the best and only nominating the films that strive too hard to get the nods.

At least there's the new Star Trek film, The Avengers and the new Spider-Man. Slightly hopeful for 2012, even though we're all going to die. Dumb Mayans.  

“War Horse” Emotional Horse Tale

Genres: Action/Adventure, Adaptation and Drama

Release Date: December 25th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for for intense sequences of war violence.

Distributors: Walt Disney Studios Distribution

Director: Steven Spielberg

JJ Rating: B+

Albert (Jeremy Irvine) gets a horse and names him Joey. He grows close to the horse as if they were best friends. The British Army ends up acquiring Joey. Joey goes through the war from army to army, owner to owner to only end up back with Albert? Maybe. War Horse.

8 Good Things About This Film

1. Jeremy Irvine does such a good job that I don't think I could have had a care in the world if it were not for his acting. He made me believe that him and Joey had a real friendship. Because of his acting (and Steven Spielberg's directing) the connection withstood the long duration of the middle until the end when the conclusion.
2. Tom Hiddleston (played Captain Nicholls) did not have a lot of screen time, but he displayed exactly what I already knew from Thor. He's a fantastic actor. He conveys a lot of information through his facial expressions. I will be livid if he is ignored for his role as Loki. I have not seen a single actor who has outdone him this entire year.
3. Steven Spielberg did a very good job. His films have an emotional impact that I cannot explain how it's possible. I feel the emotion. If someone else doesn't feel it, too bad.
4. There were playful moments between characters. Unexpected things occurred. One scene when enemies share a moment out of firing at one another. It reminded me of the Christmas Truce http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/truce.asp during WWI. If that were put in a movie, someone would claim it not true. But as we all know, truth is stranger than fiction. With that in mind the scene that's similar in War Horse isn't nearly as impossible as cynics would grump over.
5. One of my favorite endings of a film. I like when they show something at the beginning, only to use it again at the end. But the way they show it wasn't “Hey look at this, remember this for later.” They showed it as part of a story and I didn't think anything of it until moments before it was repeated again at the end.
6. I have a high standard when it comes to emotional scenes. Star Trek set the bar with Kirk's parents at the beginning. The mere minutes they had together created a sadness I rarely feel for any film that lasts way longer. (Like We Bought A Zoo). In War Horse they had several different storylines that intertwined due to Joey. Each one was good, some are better than others. This way of storytelling isn't my favorite, but I enjoyed it overall. Some really likeable characters show up.
7. WWI is rarely the war of choice to do a film about. WWII is something we are used to seeing a backdrop for a war film. So seeing WWI as a backdrop here is good. It gives an idea of how the war was. They used horses. A lot. So much so there is a causality list that includes the lost of horses. War Horse displays scenes that many people didn't know happened during WWI...the uses of horses to pull heavy equipment. I knew that WWI used horses, but the idea that they pulled large weaponry didn't cross my mind. It makes sense, I just never gave it much thought.
8. For some reason I like to see horses shown as smart. I don't like when people think animals as stupid just because.

3 Bad Things About This Film

1. The length. I have, as I've repeatedly stated, grave difficulty dealing with a long film.
2. Dealing with a woman who came in and opened a bag of chips as if she were out to win a noise contest and proceeded to masticate like a cow. I took it upon myself to kindly tell her to stop because she was ruining my viewing experience. And she stopped. Why do people think they have the right to ruin my movie? Seriously.
3. It was mildly over dramatic, but not nearly as bad as some reviews make people think. I took into consideration that they only have a few moments to give these characters personality and us to feel for them.

War Horse is nominated for Golden Globe, Best Picture – Drama. I wouldn't have picked it for Best Picture. And looking at the list it totally backs my feeling that this year was a terrible year for films. It was hard for me to pick ten movies to put on my top ten list. War Horse is certainly for the older generation. Anyone younger than 35 will have a hard time enjoying it. And I did not pick this film for a very good reason, I could not sit through it again. 

“The Adventures of Tintin” Easy on the Eyes

Running Time: 1 hr. 41 min.

Release Date: December 21st, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG for for adventure action violence, some drunkenness and brief smoking.

Distributors: Paramount Pictures

Director: Steven Spielberg

JJ Rating: B+

Tintin (voiced by Jamie Bell) is out to find ships that were owned by Captain Haddock's (voiced by Andy Serkis) family. The Adventures of Tintin.

8 Good Things About This Film

1. I was in awe of how incredible the animation looked. How seamless it moved. The water. The fire. The everything. It looked great.
2. The story moved nicely.
3. Jamie Bell and Andy Serkis did a very good job using their voices, which is not as easy as just talking. You have to have the right tone, inflection, and whatever. It sounded good. I enjoyed their voice acting.
4. Great action scenes. Chasing the bird with the clue in its talon was fun. I know it wasn't just any “bird” but specifics isn't what I'm going for here. The breaking up the motorcycle was thrilling.
5. There were a lot of funny moments. Thompson (voiced by Simon Pegg) and Thompson (voiced by Nick Frost) had their fair share. The fire in the boat scene that's shown on the very good trailer. The beginning of the entire film made me laugh. And I don't even recall ever reading any of Tintin's comics, and still that scene made me laugh. I was one of the only ones laughing. Americans.
6. It was warm and fun and I had a good time seeing it, even though I saw in 3D. It was worth it. It's not like it's necessary to see it in 3D, but I had fun.
7. Steven Spielberg did a good job. He knows what he's doing. I know that I will not be so bored in a Spielberg film that I'll want to leave. He, for me, is a safe bet. I like that he's consistent in that respect.
8. This movie did things that would cost an arm and a leg to film if it were not for this kind of animation. I think that they put into this film a lot of neat stuff for that reason. And one of those things was the motorcycle falling apart. That was just awesome. I know it's next to impossible to happen, but that's what makes films fun. Making the impossible seem possible.

1 Bad Thing About This Film

1. The only bad thing I can think of was that the story had some low moments that dragged and there were too many of them. The story wasn't strong enough to hold the entire film together. I think that if it were not for the characters, the movie would have failed. I mean that the story was too simple for the length it took to tell.

The Adventures of Tintin is a good family film. You wanna take your family to see a fun film that's cleaner than most? This will work.

It's nominated for a Golden Globe for best Animated film. If Cars 2 doesn't win, I'd rather this one win. It's animation is just wow good. But story wise Cars 2 has them beat. 

“We Bought a Zoo” And Why Should I Care?

Genres: Adaptation and Drama

Release Date: December 23rd, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG for language and some thematic elements.

Distributors: 20th Century Fox Distribution

Director: Cameron Crowe

JJ Rating: B-

Based on the true story of Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon) buying a zoo to start a new life with his family. We Bought a Zoo.

5 Good Things About This Film

1. The acting. No stand outs, but it was good. This was not a reason for the suckiness of the film. Actually I think that by a small bit Elle Fanning stood out. After seeing her in Super 8, this was different. From serious in Super 8 to down right quirky in this film, Elle Fanning shows that she's got range.
2. I liked this line said by Benjamin Mee to his son, “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” And I liked how they tied it in to telling the entire story.
3. That line connects to how the film ends and I like the story Benjamin tells about meeting his wife. So wonderfully done. I wonder why the rest of the film couldn't be that good.
4. There were a few funny scenes, but that's all I remember was that they existed.
5. One of my favorite moments was at the beginning when the son said pernicious. That's because I use that as the name of a character in my book. I laughed knowing that not too many people (in that theater and the world) knows what that word means. Nor do they have to. I didn't know what it meant before I searched for a word that would match what the character was.

3 Bad Things About This Film

1. The way the story was told. I was bored through most of the film.
2. The script was forgettable, except for the scenes I mentioned.
3. I was bored through most of it.

--Shrug--

“Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” Breathtaking Action, YES!

Genres: Action/Adventure, Adaptation, Sequel and Thriller

Running Time: 2 hrs. 12 min.

Release Date: December 16th, 2011 (IMAX); December 21st, (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence.

Distributors: Paramount Pictures

Director: Brad Bird

JJ Rating: A

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is in prison for a reason that is not clear. Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and Jane Carter (Paula Patton) rescue Ethan. Then their world gets turned upside down. People die. Missions are given. And action happens until the end. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.

10 Good Things About This Film

1. Despite Tom Cruise being a weird man, his acting is of the highest caliber. It's hard to watch a film with him in it and not be entertained. He has a talent and I will not ignore it just because I think his beliefs are questionable. That's like ignoring Doctor House because he's a douchebag or not paying attention to Walter Bishop because he's crazy. Tom Cruise sets out to do a good job acting and most of his films, that's exactly what he does.
2. OMG, the best action scenes in a loooong while. I felt my fear of heights when they were in Dubai and feared that Ethan might die, even though I knew he wasn't going to. And that's great movie making when you make the audience think something bad is going to happen, even though they're sure it won't.
3. There's so many fight scenes and every single one is AWEsome. This is the action movie of the year, not that crappy stupid Fast and Furious Infinity. And my opinion counts a thousand more than any whacked out duchebrain that liked that film as a great action film.
4. Great pacing. It's a long film, but rarely was their a moment that I wondered how much longer. I might have thought it once, but that's not a lot considering how long it is and how much I dislike films that are longer than an hour and forty-five minutes.
5. Comedic moments happened quite a few times. The good thing was that Tom Cruise was able to do a bit of physical comedy in the sense of constant abuse to his head. If any person really hit their head as much as he did, they'd try out for the NFL showing they can take a beating and keep on getting beaten.
6. Direct Brad Bird did an amazing job, seeing how this is his first stint outside of Pixar films. Wow and wow and woooow.
7. Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner and Paula Patton did a very good job of supporting Tom Cruise. Let's face it, this was a Tom Cruise film through and through. Either he did great and looked great or he did bad and looked terrible. He did great and therefore anyone around him is supporting his greatness.
8. Amazing scenery. The shots of Armani Hotel in Dubai were beautiful, stunning and made me want to visit...which I'm assuming that's one of the reasons why they agreed to allowed the building's use. If only I had the money.
9. As I think back (and reread my reviews of the previous two) on the Mission Impossibles of the past, I have to say that this one is pretty darn good and most likely the best. Even better than the first.
10. Love the tech. I want a table like they had in the train car...sooo bad. Also the gloves (though fake) were pretty awesome. The car, though WAY out of my price range, was awesome due to the fact that it had a table-like windshield. I just want that table.

1 Bad Thing About This Film

1. A moment or two where the film lags. But with a 2+ hour clock time, that is bound to happen. Nothing terrible.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol had all the right impossible to make it an outstanding choice for a movie night. I'm composing my Top Ten list for 2010 and this is most likely going to be on it. 

“Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” Well Played, Holmes, Well Played

Genres: Adaptation, Action/Adventure and Sequel

Release Date: December 16th, 2011 (wide)

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures

Director: Guy Ritchie

JJ Rating: B+

Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) is at it again. Dr. John Watson (Jude Law) is now married and wants to enjoy a honeymoon. But he can't, because Holmes is on the train with bad...no terrible news. Watson's honeymoon has been canceled due to Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) and his daring idea to create world war. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.

8 Good Things About This Film

1. Witty. It is as witty as I remember the first one. Which makes me feel comfortable and welcome these wonderful characters back into my movie heart.
2. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law have an ungay chemistry that Brokeback Mountain wished it had...cause it had a real gay relationship that bordered on the unbelievable—except the end. I will always remember that scene at the parent's house as one of the better movie scenes.
3. Noomi Rapace is adorable and her adorableness worked so well that I cannot stop thinking about how adorable she is. Her acting job also had a hand in my want to remember her. She created a great Trinity with Downey and Law. Which sounds like a law firm.
4. Jared Harris as the villain scared me in such a way that only mental villains can. They get in your head and freak you out. He freaked me out. My favorite kind of villain. I don't like the physical going to beat you bloody raw villains. I like the ones that will word slaughter you with monosyllabic words, cause with the right infliction, those cut deeper than any sword or bullet a human could forge.
5. Guy Ritchie did a good job. The film flowed nicely, excluding the slow bits, but that's forgivable...a tad.
6. Great costumes. Period pieces can become trite when they deal with costumes. These weren't along those lines and I appreciate that.
7. I really like the way he does that precog thing with the fights. Creative greatness, if I do type myself. I am glad they still used that.
8. I believe the last fifteen minutes of this film are the most awesome last fifteen minutes of this or any film released this year. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows has one of the best (if awards were given they'd get it) endings all year. I really like the ? Because that let me with a grin.

1 Bad Thing About This Film

1. There was slow bits, and those slow bits dragged down my grade. Yes it did. Yes. It. Did.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows was as good as the first. I enjoyed. Good entertainment. However, I will not be putting this on my Top 10 List of 2011. It's worth seeing. Worth getting away from the in-laws for a bit. Tell them Jammer said you may and they'll allow it. 

“New Year's Eve” Only Marginally Better than Valentines Day

Genres: Romance and Comedy

Release Date: December 9th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for language including some sexual references.

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures

Director: Garry Marshall

JJ Rating: B-

A bunch of people run around getting ready for New Year's Eve. Yay.

3 Good Things About This Film

1. Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer were the two best. But especially Zac Efron, because he's a different character for every movie he's in. And that is awesome to behold, considering how many people “act”, but never different enough that they couldn't be exchanged like a boring light blub.
2. Lea Michele did a great job. Nice to hear her sing. She, too, can act, seeing how she took on a role that wasn't similar to her Rachel role on “Glee.” Though, of course, they got her to sing. Something Efron avoids at all cost. Or so it seems. Though I heard a rumor he wants to guest star on “Glee.”
3. These are the only two stories I will remember from this film and that's a good thing, considering the other stories were not that good. At. All.

6 Bad Things About This Film

1. Valentines Day 2.
2. Too many story lines that were NOT interesting.
3. Too long.
4. Not enough greatness from the amount of STAR power that was in it.
5. Too long. Oh, I mentioned that. Well it was too long and saying it twice shows how long too long really is.
6. What's next? Saint Patrick's Day? Christmas? Fourth of July? Birthday? Ugh...it's never ending. There are 365 days of the year, and I'm sure each day has holiday that they could exploit. Meaning, two down...362 left.

It's only worth it if you have nothing to do and you are not looking to be thoroughly entertained. 

“Hugo” is a No Go for Me

Genres: Drama, Adaptation and Kids/Family

Release Date: November 23rd, 2011 (limited)

MPAA Rating: PG for mild thematic material, some action/peril, and smoking.

Distributors: Paramount Pictures

Director: Martin Scorsese

JJ Rating: B-

Hugo (Asa Butterfield) and his father (Jude Law) work on an animatron that his father found in the museum's attic. His father dies before they get it working. Hugo takes it on full time, stealing to get the parts he thinks he needs. He reaches for the wrong thing and in the process loses his notebook. He befriends Isabelle (Choloe Grace Moretz) and together they work to bring the animatron alive. An adventure of information of the past comes to life. Hugo.

4 Good Things About This Film

1. I really liked the old time feel. The simple story line harken to films from way, way back when.
2. The characters. Especially the smaller stories that happened in the background like the adorable older couple.
3. The actors were very good. Asa Butterfield, Cloe Grace Moretz, Sacha Baron Cohen and Ben Kingsley all did a wonderful job. Cohen surprised me. He brought charm to a harden security guard.
4. The look. I did not see it in 3D. I read that it's amazing in 3D. If you must know. I didn't want to see it in 3D. I was 3D'ed out. That didn't keep from seeing how fantastic the film looked from all the different angles. Martin Scorsese has a great knack for showing beauty in the mundane, from the workings of a clock to a “boring” black and white film. Hugo is beautifully shot.

4 Bad Things About This Film

1. It was way too boring for me. I couldn't get into the story.
2. The trailer made me think that the film had something awesome to offer toward the end.
3. The emotional end wasn't for me.
4. I don't know what it was considering I like the actors, their acting and the visuals. There was something that didn't connect from screen to me.

I'm willing to admit that I missed something in the translation of this film. I couldn't get into it and the ratings from IMDB to Yahoo to Flixster show people love it. I normally understand where they're coming from. But not this time, I don't get it. Maybe I need to see it again. If you have to see a film in 3D to appreciate it, then maybe boring is right for the the lack of story. 

"The Muppets" Are Hearted

Genres: Sequel, Comedy, Kids/Family and Musical/Performing Arts

Release Date: November 23rd, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG for some mild rude humor.

Distributors: Walt Disney Pictures

Director: James Bobin

JJ Rating: A+

Walter (Peter Linz) and Gary (Jason Segel) are brothers. The biggest difference between the two, Walter is a Muppet. The other issue, Gary takes him everywhere and this is a problem for Mary (Amy Adams) his girlfriend. They travel to the old Muppet studios and encounter an evil plot to destroy it just for oil. Walter has to tell Kermit and when Kermit finds out, he has to get the Muppets back together again. The Muppets.

16 Good Things About This Film

1. It's the Muppets. It's really, really, really hard to go wrong with that.
2. Lots of singing.
3. The charm of Amy Adams and Jason Segel mesh well with The Muppets' own charm. Amy Adams is awesome. She makes movies better just because she's in it. She's like syrup on well made waffles. Sweet goodness.
4. Hearing and seeing the theme from “The Muppet Show” brought me back to when I was younger. It's a feeling of warmth (not the same as peeing on oneself) that not many things can bestow. It's a wholesome feeling. Very rare to feel that for any film that's out right now.
5. When I left the theater, I felt happy. Not many movies this year have gave me that feeling. Yes, the Marvel movies did that. Especially Thor, seeing how I was at the LA Premier.
6. Great comedy from sight gags to fantastic one-liners. Especially one from Fozzie. I wish I could remember it.
7. So many different personalities within the Muppets, it was nice to see almost all of them in their own greatness.
8. When “The Muppet Show” part of the film came there was so much greatness. I miss them on TV. I saw an episode with Sandra Bullock doing “Mah Na Mah Na” bit with Kermit. I wish they'd come back to TV. I wonder how difficult that show was to do.
9. Walter was a great addition to the Muppets. His scene with Jason Segel singing about being a Muppet or a Man was one of my favorites. I love NOT knowing who the cameos were, cause when they popped up...it was that much more awesome.
10. The cameos were great. What star doesn't love the Muppets? It's like they got everyone they could. Jack Black did a fantastic job. His lines were drenched in sarcasm as need be.
11. Animal is the Muppet that I wanted to take home after this movie. I'd take any of them home, they're all worthy, but Animal had a great line that he repeated over and over again...with his eyelids lowering, shoulders dropping and in a grumble.
12. I want to see it again.
13. I love the throwbacks to previous Muppet movies and the use of their key songs like “Rainbow Connection.”
14. The Muppets sing two famous songs in a unique way. If you get the soundtrack you can hear them, but nothing beats seeing them preformed.
15. It is one of the best, if not THE best, trailer campaign for 2011. The first time I saw The Muppets' trailer it was the one that presented a generic Amy Adams and Jason Segel romantic comedy, until it mentioned the stars. Kermit the Froooog? Miss Piggy? Loved it.
16. Did I mention I need to see it again? Well, I do.

2 Bad Things About This Film

1. I wanted to see more Muppets. MORE!
2. It saying “Disney Muppets” instead of Jim Henson's. I understand they bought them, but I don't know why it can't say Jim Henson's Muppets and then mention Disney elsewhere.

Award Nods?

I think so. I read on IMDB that someone suggested it be nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Comedy/Musical. I think it's highly likely. I also will be disappointed if it's overlooked. Then another person mentioned 50/50 and my heart tore in two, cause I don't know how I'd pick between them if I were able to.

Seeing how it made almost all its money back by the end of the weekend, I say we haven't seen the last of the Muppets. Disney knew what they were doing and they did it right. Now they just have to go two for two...real soon. I need another hit of Muppet. 

Enjoy their bit on SNL: 

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1” Really? They needed Two Parts?

Genres: Romance, Sequel, Teen, Drama and Thriller

Running Time: 1 hr. 48 min.

Release Date: November 18th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, sexuality/partial nudity and some thematic elements.

Distributors: Summit Entertainment, LLC

Director: Bill Condon

JJ Rating: F-

*Spoilers all over this review and I don't care*

A total rehash of the first three movies as if told by a mentally retarded person with stake shoved through their skull and brain matter oozing out. Oh and the bloody ending, which is only as bloody as a period without a pad. Breaking Dawn Pt. 1.

2 Good Things About This Film

1. Uhm...I...there's got to be something...oh, she smiled more than once. I was shocked.
2. Anna Kendrick is in it for five seconds. I think when they filmed this she was wondering, Why am I doing this? I've been in 50/50, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Up in the Air, and even Rocket Science – all films that were critically liked and are bound to be cult classics – , why am I in Twilight again? Contract, right...She so doesn't need this role. It better pay well. It was nice to see an actress in this film. And I'm well aware of these people's ability to act, because I've mentioned it in other reviews, but this film...well read the bad things.

17 Bad Things About This Film

1. OMG, the back and forth with the I love you, no I love you, NO I LOVE YOU a lot...was disgusting. Every time they kissed I wanted to not throw up. I tried really hard not to throw up. This film literally made me sick to my stomach. It should be illegal that so many cliches were able to congregate in one film. And the person that allows it should be shot, a lot...in the face.
2. If men were really that wimpy this world would have died the moment it started.
3. The kiss at the wedding was just a rotten cherry on top of the already mushy movie. Ick.
4. It could have been 20-30 minutes shorter if they cut out all the I love you's and the Jacob storming out as if he got his balls stepped on.
5. The first hour was like porn without the sex. Yes, that's how bad the acting was.
6. They teased a fight and a fight did happen, but it sucked and it was like Daredevil all over again. The camera angles were too close and no one could tell who was in danger and who wasn't and who was making a great move and who was just getting crapped on like a cop car via an Occupier.
7. The lines were terrible. Oh you are a vampire, please put your teeth into me and let's make babies. Yes, that's the kind of lines that were littered throughout this film. I don't even know how one reads that script and goes This is so golden. I'm going to get an Oscar just by staring at it.
8. Speaking of babies...the feeding baby scene was so poorly done that I don't know. I don't know how anyone can look through a camera, see that acting, hear those words and think WOW, I got myself a surefire winner.
9. If sap could kill, I'd be dead and so would anyone that saw this film.
10. It's the new Ring.
11. This is on the list of films that are probably worse than waterboarding.
12. As someone who wants to be a published writer, I cannot, for the life of me, understand how anyone can write this and think that it's good. I think I understand how it feels to be someone that writes their on music and plays their own instrument looking at a pop doofus lip syncing and making millions. It is sickening.
13. The ending is cliched. I've said that so much it's now a cliché. Opening eyes to show someone's alive. Please. I'd rather see her teeth sharpen than this lameness.
14. This imprinting is gross. It's like whispering in a baby's ear, I like you. I'm going to wait until you're legal and we're going to make our own baby. Ugh.
15. Pedophile undertones aren't the only thing. There's abuse in this film. I'm bruised from having sex with a vampire, what is the first thing I want to say? Oh, right, I don't care, I LOVE YOU. Ugh. This abuse stuff isn't a joke, but apparently it is with a vampire. Though Klingons have sex like that and I remember that episode of DS9. It was way better than this cliché mess of cliches.
16. And no condom for vampire sex, cause baby making with dead sperm is not possible. OH WAIT, IT IS. What a terrible twist. These books must have sucked worse than these vampires do. I hate vampires. All of them. They should all burn in the sun with garlic cloves shoved in their eye sockets while they stand in silver rain.
17. GIVE ME ZOMBIES!

Ha, ha, speaking of zombies, I think that someone needs to remake these films with zombies roaming around. It would so make this film five hundred-billion-million times better. I'm sure I've done this already in the previous review.

In conclusion Breaking Dawn Part 1 is a drawn out boring film that should have never existed and no male should waste any of their life ever seeing it. NO, it is not worth whatever she promises. It isn't. There's nothing she could give you that will make up for you feeling like you got the short end of the stick on this one.

You have been warned.  

“Happy Feet 2” Eh, Slightly Better than the First

Running Time: 1 hr. 45 min.

Release Date: November 18th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG for for some rude humor and mild peril.

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures

Director: George Miller

JJ Rating: B-

Mumble (Elijah Wood) has a child Erik (Ava Acres) that can't do the moves. He wonders off with friends and Ramon (Robin Williams) to find other penguins and meets The Mighty Sven (Hank Azaria). Erick loves Sven's positive talk. Erik sees Sven fly and he wants to do it, he wants to fly. And it goes on from there...Happy Feet 2.

6 Good Things About This Film

1. I got to see it in 3D for free. The movie theater made a mistake with the reels or something and came in and gave everyone free glasses. It was pretty cool, cause I go to hear kids (that most likely never got to see 3D before) say oooh. And the film had some good 3D moments, especially the credits. I almost stuck around the entire time just to watch the bubbles pop off the screen.
2. The animation is pretty awesome. I liked watching the krill swim and light up.
3. Some of the songs were cool.
4. The dancing penguins were great.
5. I liked how they grouped together to save another group of penguins.
6. Brad Pitt was fantastic. The things he says are things he's never said in any film, which makes it great. Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Matt Damon, Hank Azaria and Pink all did very good.

5 Bad Things About This Film

1. The disturbing need to make it environmental propaganda, again. It's annoying. Why can't the animals just exist without having to bring anything about humans in it at all? Sigh.
2. Erik sings a song at the end that's so boring I wanted to fall asleep. I hated it.
3. They could have picked way better songs than they picked.
4. I didn't like the undertone of the krill. Couldn't they just be krill. I'm not going to get into what it felt like they were doing. And I'm pretty sure they were doing that considering Happy Feet and Happy Feet 2 are as subtle as an elephant in a “Don't touch anything” store.
5. Boring story. It didn't have enough fun in it to make it good and the back and forth between the krill and the penguins didn't work out as well as it could have.

Happy Feet 2 didn't make me happy, but it entertained for a moment here and there. Eh, if you like the first you might like the second. I didn't particularly like either that much.

“J. Edgar” Historically nice, but that's It

Genres: Drama and Biopic

Running Time: 2 hr. 17 min.

Release Date: November 9th, 2011 (limited)

MPAA Rating:R for brief strong language.

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures

Director: Clint Eastwood

JJ Rating: B

A movie about J. Edgar Hoover (Leonardo DiCaprio) and how he created the F.B.I. From absolutely nothing but his ambition to be remembered. Great, terrible and the alright life of J. Edgar. J. Edgar.

5 Good Things about this Film

1. Leonardo DiCaprio and Arnie Hammer did a fantastic job apart, as well as together as a pair. Hammer amazed, again. First in Social Network, and now in J. Edgar. He's another to watch for.
2. The movie has beautiful moments and stunning costumes. Great time piece, visually.
3. Interesting story. I learned a few things I didn't really know.
4. Funny how people treat fingerprinting back then. And these were probably the “logical” ones of the time. It's always amusing what the “logical” ones have to say.
5. The subtlety of his sexuality was handled well.

3 Bad Things about this Film

1. It was a bit long, I started to get bored before it was over. Never good.
2. The lines were not great. I couldn't recall a single line and that's, also, never good.
3. The score was forgettable.

For the history buffs this is a good film and worth seeing. I'm glad I saw it, but I'll never watch it again.

“Immortals” Ungodly, but Visually Wowing

Genres: Action/Adventure and Fantasy

Running Time: 1 hr. 50 min.

Release Date: November 11th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: R for sequences of strong bloody violence, and a scene of sexuality.

Distributors: Relativity Media

Director: Tarsem Singh

JJ Rating: C+

Theseus (Henry Cavill) needs to keep King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) from releasing the Titans and the whiny gods will not interfere, or so some say. Immortals.

3 Great Things About This Film

1. Visually stunning, just like 300 and The Fall. Most of the fighting was eye candy greatness and this film is, as one of the trailers claim, better than any Twilight film.
2. Henry Cavill did a fantastic job. He's got greatness in him. I could do all that work to pack on that muscle, so he's also awesome for having that ability.
3. I really liked the arrow weapon.

5 Bad Things About This Film

1. How they portrayed the gods. Wimps of the wimps, good grief. I couldn't even tell that was Ares until I read the credits. If they said his name in the film, I dismissed it, cause uh, he doesn't look like an Ares at all. Nope. Where were their powers? Seriously.
2. The fights were almost all good, but some of them were just far too unnecessarily bloody. Unless I'm mistaken, gods bleed gold or something, not red.
3. I couldn't stand the clothes they wore. It was as if they were on the catwalk for a freak clothes designer. It screamed WUSS from all of them, even the female god. It is possible.
4. I wanted the gods to use their powers, but aside from Poseidon, none did. No lighting from Zeus. What the hell?
5. The lines were bland. I wanted greatness and all I got was crap that probably came from an Occupier, I'm sure.

I love stories about Greek gods cause they are very creative, but sometimes people interpret everything in such a way that boring is all they produce. Immortals is a rental/Redbox/Netflix for sure.  

“A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas” How could Pot Be So Boring?

Genres: Comedy, Holiday and Sequel

Release Date: November 4th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: R for strong crude and sexual content, graphic nudity, pervasive language, drug use and some violence.

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures

Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson

JJ Rating: C-

Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) haven't spent time together in forever. Harold has a family. Kumar has his pot. They are brought together by a box that is delievered to Kumar's apartment. He takes it to Harold and so the story starts...cause Harold needs a tree after Kumar accidentally ruins it. A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas.

4 Good Things about This Film

1. The way they used the 3D.
2. Mildly amusing scenes...sometimes. I'm trying to say something good.
3. I liked the beer pong part, though at the end it was very, very campy and not in a good way.
4. I like the actors. How can you not like Neil Patrick Harris? Oh and even that bot.

4 Bad Things about This Film

1. Boring storyline.
2. Boring jokes.
3. Overdone jokes. Seriously, how funny is the drugged up kid after it's been done in previous films? There's nothing new here. Give me something different. The gay to get the girls, well...that's decent, but not good enough, either.
4. The way Santa comes into play. It's as if tired and crappy was how they wanted to writing to be seen.

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas had potential. I liked the other two enough to bother with this one. But if they make another (and it feels like they are) I might just skip it, cause I don't have time to deal with trite, stupid films. /end.