Hollywood Dump

Just because a movie brings in big numbers on opening weekend doesn't mean it's a good movie. Case in point: "The Twilight Saga: New Moon"

Thanks to a built-in audience of fanatically love-struck, mostly teenage girls and some serious pre-release hype, the Twilight sequel on Friday broke "The Dark Knight's" record for the biggest single day box office total of $71 million. And it looks like Dark Knight's 3-day $158 million record may also be ready to fall.

Wow. That's a lot of money for a movie that seems to be consistently regarded by critics as trite, plodding, shallow, vapid and downright cheesy.

But don't take my word for it:

Mike McGranaghan of The Aisle Seat said, "Watching New Moon is like being trapped in a room for two hours with a moody teenage girl who won't stop whining about how her boyfriend dumped her."

Peter Travers of Rolling Stone comments, "I can't comment on the acting because I didn't catch Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner doing any. They basically primp and pose through the same humdrum motions they did before."

And Jessica Baxter of Film Threat says, "It’s intellectually and socially detrimental to both literature and cinema, simultaneously. The fact that so many girls will see this movie and drink up the messages like poisoned Kool-Aid depresses the hell out of me."

We'll have Jay Jammer's review sometime on Monday or Tuesday.


Despite the negative opinions, it hasnt stopped this lumbering, juggernaut from dominating the box office. And this time around Summit Entertainment has it's shit together in the marketing dept. For example at Burger King, a life sized window cling of Edward Cullen will gaze down on you with his brooding, puppy dog eyes as you chow down on that 1,100 calorie, fat-soaked "BK Slider 6 pack value meal" and you get a nifty set of collector's cards with it. But wait! For only ten bucks more, you can also purchase an "eco friendly" aluminum water bottle with the pasty emo-boy printed on it. Oh goody!


"New Moon" may have blown away the Dark Knight when it comes to opening numbers, but I'm willing to bet serious money that it's going to have a HUGE second weekend drop.



And we'll be waiting to point fingers and laugh when it circles the drain.


Stay tuned.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Science Fiction/Fantasy and Thriller
Running Time: 2 hrs. 38 min.
Release Date: November 13th, 2009 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some language.
Distributors: Sony Pictures Releasing

JJ Rating: B

The world is going to hell and the hand basket is a technological ark. 2012.

The disaster parts of the film were breathtaking. I almost held my breath during each mesmerizing, visual smorgasbord of improbable disasters that were well worth the money spending to see. L.A. falling into the earth, California sinking into the ocean, waves coming from all over and thick smoke and ash from massive volcanic activity taking over the sky. The CGI work was impeccable. It’s eye candy for the disaster loving movie soul.

The acting was alright. Nothing too outstanding in that regard. It was acting that was sustaining enough for a 2 hour and 40 minute movie. No one was so terrible that they turned the melodramatic moments to cheese-oh-matic moments. Oh but Woody Harrelson is the stand out actor. His crazy character was crazy enough to be amusing and unforgettable for this film.

The one interesting thing I liked about the film is that the personalities that came out because of a disaster. It’s great to show an array of different views and things. I liked that. The total grade killer was the time spent on the deaths and not giving some of that time to more destruction.

2012 reminds me of three movies and those are Poseidon (new), Titanic and Armageddon. Poseidon because of the destruction with excitement and the ok acting. Titanic because every single death scene was like Rose’s reaction to Jack dying. Armageddon because of the great destruction scenes with the asteroid bits, but the only difference is that 2012 understood that the sun is in a different or nonexistent position in different areas of the earth.

I am going to buy this movie like I bought Across the Universe and that was because I enjoyed the visuals and the singing. 2012 has great visuals and that’s it. There is no singing. It is well worth seeing once if you really like seeing things get destroyed. The timing, though, is a bit difficult so don’t drink a whole lot because if you are a pee-er you’ll need to peepee before the credits roll. But it is a film that is (and should be proud of being) a total disaster.

Genres: Drama, Adaptation and Teen
Running Time: 1 hr. 49 min.
Release Date: November 6th, 2009 (limited)
MPAA Rating: R for child abuse including sexual assault, and pervasive language.
Distributors: Lionsgate Films

Director: Lee Daniels

JJ Rating: A

Saying that Precious Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) had a terrible life would be an understatement. Saying she was determined to do right undeterred would be right on par. Precious.

Precious is a lot of P words like precarious, precocious, persistent, powerful and poised. She had every single reason to be terrible person. There would have been justifications from every corner of her dark private life that would socially justify her being out of control and spiteful. But she was not any of that. What she was-was a teenager that worked hard until she figured out that she wanted to give to herself and her babies more than she wanted to give to an unappreciative mother.

Sibide is amazing. She was the hope diamond in this dark, rough, debilitating and devious film that harbored so much anger, distrust and hate. There was not a whole lot of love, but there was enough. She took this film on her newbie shoulders and stood proud next to many famous persons and held her own. Mo’Nique was scary as the mother. I recognized the comedian I knew by face, but by action it was someone else. She embodied a woman that would rival Nurse Hatchet. I was awestruck by her demeanor and anger and was just trying to catch up as the movie went along. I wanted to see her smile and hug her daughter. I wanted healing to happen because this is no Mo’Nique I knew. She was so good. Mariah Carey was down to earth looking and her acting was WAY BETTER than Glitter (and no I’m not hinting at anything Edward or Twilight). Lenny Kravitz was the other music star in the film. He was good and decent.

The story is sad and dark and depressing. This is not a feel good movie but I can say that it’s far more feel good than Monster’s Ball that was directed (Lee Daniels) by the same director. It gets to many low points and in my head I was thinking that it couldn’t get worse than this and then it does. People that have to go through that must have been broken so many times. Broken here and there and as they try to put themselves together they get broken again. Some just quit and decide to stay broken and then turn to do vile and terrible things.

Precious is different and in that area I guess I can say that it is a little feel good. She had some much damage in her life that things only get worse and what did she do? She continues to try to do right. She chooses to do right. I think that that message is a positive message. Do not quit.

I could NEVER watch this movie again. It is heartbreaking to see the damage that people create by being so angry and so mean towards other people, especially their families. The world is hard enough, but to put family in the mix? That’s just wrong.

Precious has Oscar Nominations all over the place. And if it doesn’t and it’s this years Doubt I am going to write the Academy a long letter that will be scathing. It’s bad enough that they ignore seasoned actors that totally hit a grand slam via a script that was adapted to screen, but to ignore the blood and sweat of a small film like this will be the straw that will break my imaginary camel’s back.

Precious is a difficult film to watch. It is not easy. It is not happy. It is angry, dark, damaging, emotionally destructive and very low human standards of care. It is similar to Monster’s Ball via the director and the tone, but not in how it is told. It has a hint of helping light. A glint of hope and that glint is found in Precious’s eyes. Those eyes also belong to Gabourey Sidibe who upstaged everyone in the film to be a teenager that was tore down every second of her life but in mere moments of defiance and stubbornness she proves that the same old-same old doesn’t have to always be. Precious is so and just like the title of the book she pushed to be her true self in a life that was trying to keep her down.

Genres: Art/Foreign and Comedy
Running Time: 1 hr. 55 min.
Release Date: November 13th 2009 (wide)
MPAA Rating: R for language, and some sexual content including brief nudity.
Distributors: Focus Features

Directed by: Richard Curtis

JJ Rating: B -

The British Invasion was a great musical time for history and yet who knew that The UK’s government didn’t even like their great ambassadors. Good thing for radio stations that didn’t care. Yay for ships in water. Pirate Radio.

The acting was ok. No one did a cool little thing that would have made them at all memorable. The characters were distinct but they were not fleshed out enough to make them vibrant and therefore Pirate Radio was a storybook type movie. That means that each character just told a story instead of did any acting or development of more than telling what happened. Plank walking would be more interesting and exciting than how they told this story.

I learned that even on a boat that is suppose to be progressive with it’s music and fun they had a sense of morals with what happens on the boat. There was a hint of a sense of justice. So it doesn’t matter how awesome cool some place is they have rules, even if they are not written ones.

The government personal were totally retarded with their need to shut down a radio station. It’s like those parent groups getting all pissed off at “Gossip Girl” and their naughty nature. Funny thing is that “Gossip Girl” just says they’ll do this or that but what ends up being in the show is less in your face.

It is a long movie but not 2 hours and 40 minutes like 2012 so that is a plus. It is not a movie that I want to see again. It was interesting to watch once. Pirate Radio does have a fantastic ending. It did leave me smiling. That’s good to have me smile. I like to smile.

Pirate Radio isn’t a film that will be remembered for much, if anything. It told a story that could have been read from a book or a newspaper clipping. It did not add more to the story. Nothing dramatic or stunning was shown. When a story is boring but compelling as a whole it is important to find a way to share the story so that it’ll stick in someone’s mind even hours after seeing it.

The song choices were perfect. That was one thing that they did good and if you are to purchase something with this movie’s name on it get the soundtrack and pass up the ticket.

Should you see it? I’m going to go with nah. It’s not worth seeing in the theater. I really suggest you wait until it comes to Red Box or you can Netflix it. Nothing worthy of any waves be it ocean or radio.

Word on the street is that that a reboot of the 1973 film "The Exorcist" is in the works. But before all you film school & horror movie snobs get your panties in a twist, this has the potential to actually not suck.

The 1973 film, directed by Billy Friedkin was based on the book of the same name by William Peter Blatty, which was inspired by documented accounts of a real exorcism in 1949. The film went on to become one of the most successful horror movie of all time, bringing in 5 Golden Globes and 1o Oscar nominations, winning two for best sound and adapted screenplay (it lost Best Picture to "The Sting.")

In a recent interview with horror mag "Cemetery Dance" Blatty was asked if he would change anything in the original film. His reply was a bit of a surprise:

"Yes and no. I would love to have been able to include the subplot involving Karl and his daughter Elvira which I did in my first draft, but that script ran to 172 pages, much, much too long. But I might have it my way in the near future, inasmuch as I've written an Exorcist miniseries script that not only faithfully includes all the main elements of the novel, but also some rather spooky new material and scenes, as well as a totally new (and perhaps much more satisfying) ending. I've also updated it. Billy Friedkin has agreed to direct."

OK, so it's not just a remake, but a remake with the same writer and director as the original '73 film. With advances in technology, both with film making and computer generated imagery, this could be one of the most anticipated remakes in a long, LONG time.

We'll keep our eyes peeled for more information on this as development progresses.

So what do you think? Will this be a fantastic remake, or just an act of beating a dead horse for more money? Share your thoughts in our comments below.

Despite the majority of critics who think it was a weak scripted, CGI-laden, bombastic bomb, Roland "destroy the world" Emmerich's latest popcorn flick "2012" drew in an astounding $65 million in its opening bow this weekend.

Mike McGranaghan of the site "The Aisle Seat" called it simply, "a boring, stupid, overlong, obnoxious, soulless piece of Hollywood "product." Yeah, that may be true, but what, you were expecting "Gone With the Wind?" People don't see "2012" because of the story development or the creative "mise en scene." They go because they enjoy seeing their cities crumble and blow up in interesting ways on screen. And this weekend, shit blowing up was the clear winner at the box office.


The biggest loser of the weekend belongs to Michael Jackson's "This is it" which fell 61.24% from 2nd to 5th place. "The Fourth Kind" was a close runner in the race to the bottom as well, falling 61.22%.

Did you see the movie this weekend, let us know what you think about it in our comments section below.

Meanwhile, here's the top ten for the weekend, according to studio estimates released Sunday:

1 (new) 2012 $65,000,000
2 (1) Disney's A Christmas Carol $22,325,000
3 (3) The Men Who Stare at Goats $6,200,000
4 (12) Precious (Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire) $6,090,000
5 (2) Michael Jackson's This Is It $5,100,000
6 (4) The Fourth Kind $4,743,750
7 (7) Couples Retreat $4,252,755
8 (5) Paranormal Activity $4,200,000
9 (8) Law Abiding Citizen $3,932,000
10 (6) The Box $3,185,000

I'll just leave this here.

The old people of our lives like to state how they walked to school barefoot and in twelve inches of snow for years…so why would YOU, the young person, complain about walking for a few miles after a broken down car in the blistering heat? You have it good and you just don’t know it.

Really? Ok old, old, old person who saw the signing of the Declaration of Independence, I have never lived past the date of my birth and you know why? Because it’s just not possible so the perception of what I find difficult is what? Difficult, because difficultly is based on perception of the person experiencing it and not by the perception of an angry, pessimistic, wrinkly old person who is past their prime and smells like rotting brain matter from lack of proper use. Now I know that one day I’ll be old and wrinkly and think of how good young people have it…actually I don’t think they have it good.

When I was a teen there was no such thing as Youtube, Myspace, Facebook or texting. There was internet but it was sort of in it’s infancy as to popularity. What they have to go through now with the Youtube taunting, the Myspace popularity, the Facebook cheating or the sexting isn’t something to EVER be jealous of. Obscurity isn’t something that a teen ‘enjoy’ any more. It’s getting hard and harder to be unseen and now with phones that can do so much hiding isn’t an option, being perfect is.

Wednesday night was the CMAs and I missed them and I’m upset because I am in love with Carrie Underwood and I missed the award show mocking of Kanye West. That’s the good old Country Folk sticking together to defeat a devilish foe. Prior to the event jealousy reared its ugly head and by ugly I mean Wynonna Judd.

Excerpt from Yahoo! Music:

The country legend, one-half of famed mother-daughter duo the Judds, spoke to USA Today before the awards show, commenting in regards to Swift's extraordinary sweep of 2009: "You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon."

"Mom [Naomi Judd] and I rode in a car for the first year of our career to visit radio stations," Judd continued.

"There was a making of the star, there was a rising up, and the fans went with us. "Now it’s over coffee breaks, the success, almost. It's like the girl who wins an Oscar and she's under 20. What do you do from here?"

I have seen Taylor Swift deal with a lot in the public eye and now that she’s getting recognized for her talents someone from the same industry has to piss all over it with their geritolic attitude that ain’t nobody asked for, let alone has a fantasy about. The difficulties of yester-year are not worse than what people have to go through now. A comfort of now doesn’t mean comfort in all realms of someone’s life. Difficulty weeds itself into any situation no matter the technological advancements of the age.

The fact that this Judd cannot appreciate what Taylor Swift has done and gone through and how gracious she has been through many things that has happened to her is a terrible thing for an adult to show a younger person. Why couldn’t she have remembered feeling that happy when she was younger to be doing what she loved, going from place to place playing and performing for the fans that were in tow? Why did she choose to focus only on the negative? Why did she choose to piss on someone else’s joyful moment that would be like her going from radio station to radio station?

Because she allowed her self to be a jaded, bitter, hag of a country star (photo is her without that future technology called make-up) and that’s terrible to say and terrible to see happen. What a huge disappoint she would be to her younger self and it’s just pathetic that she can’t take stock of what she felt when she was younger and apply it to how Taylor Swift is feeling now.

Grow up Judd and shut up until doing so. Ain’t nobody need to hear your tiresome, witless thoughts on who deserves what award and the idiot that thought that it was worth asking your opinion should now know not to ever waste their time because all they get is condescending dribble.

Let her have her moment, let her bask and for god sake stop trying to upstage her….it just doesn’t work.

I mentioned in a Facebook post Thursday that Current TV axed 80 employees. This is sad on its own, but after reading the articles posted about this, it's actually even worse. As Current's press release states, the staff were kicked to the curb not because of a need to cut costs:

Current Media will have its most profitable year. This financial stability will allow the company to re-allocate resources in order to put further emphasis on areas of the business believed to best position Current Media for continued long-term growth.

To translate press-release-speak, the above quote can be translated into "we're making money and we want to keep doing that so screw all you local, wanna-be producers, we're going to be farming out more stuff from now on."

Launched in 2005 by Al Gore and business partner Joel Hyatt, Current originally started with the idea that it was going to be the anti-network. Not happy with what was currently on the air when it came to news networks, Gore and Hyatt's plan was to create a channel using both in-house and viewer-generated content, targeted at an 18-34 year old demographic. Instead of the usual 30 and 60 minute programs, Current ran 3-7 minute "pods" on a variety of topics from politics to Burning Man. It was the perfect channel for people with short attention spans. Every time you checked it out, something new and interesting was on.

That all changed today when it was decided to switch the channel to the tried-and-tired conventional 30/60 minute format. In addition to the firings, which works out to about 25% of the staff, several in-house productions were also canned. According to one source, its a "bloodbath" across all departments, with the heaviest hits taking place in both LA and San Francisco.

One year ago (to the date), Current let 60 employees go. This latest firing leaves the network with about 300 employees worldwide. They also recently canceled the networks efforts to go IPO.

This Summer, Current hired Mark Rosenthal to be the CEO, replacing Hyatt. Rosenthal is the former COO of MTV networks so it makes sense that a move like this would happen. Rosenthal knows its far cheaper to farm productions out than to produce them in house.

We're sure it's going to continue to make money, but I personally held on to the silly notion that it wasn't all about money. I guess I was wrong.

Perhaps the recent imprisonment of two Current journalists in March by North Korea ended up giving the network the unexpected ammunition it needed to be able to negotiate more lucrative advertising dollars.

Whatever the reason, its a damn shame. I used to like Current's different look and feel. If it puts on a suit and tie and tries to look grown up its going to lose a lot of viewers.

Genres: Suspense/Horror, Thriller and Remake
Running Time: 1 hr. 56 min.
Release Date: November 6th, 2009 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for thematic elements, some violence and disturbing images.
Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Directed by: Richard Kelly

JJ Rating: B+

A family falls on hard times with money and they are given a ‘rare’ opportunity to get a million dollars. All they have to do is press a button. The catch? Well someone will die, but they don’t know the person nor do they know how the person will die. Simple set up, but not so simple aftermath. The Box.

The stunning thing about The Box is the set design. I was thoroughly amazed with the work of every single scene’s set. It’s rather eye catching. I’m not one to notice such because one I’ve never done it and two it doesn’t really interest me. I do think that it is important but it’s not something I know a whole lot about. The main couple’s house is stunning for simple reasons like wallpaper and the way the furniture just looked. Then there’s the added touch to what time it was. The date was stated but everything from the way people did their hair to the way they dress to what was on TV in the background matched that time. It was good and if anything the art design team should be nominated for an Oscar for those sets or for picking great locations for shots which would be totally different are all together (again not my forte). If that is something you’re interested in I would say that that is one good reason to see this film because it’s all the way through – every single scene is fantastic because of that work.

I was very iffy about seeing this film because the critics (most of them but one: Flimcritic.com) were really panning it for many reasons. I think they had a hard time dealing with Carmon Diaz in a very serious roll. I would have to say that it was hard to see her be so serious and I think she does need to work on it a little more to refine it. She was toeing the line between too serious and funny sounding and very good serious with great dramatic flare. Sad to say that Sam Oz (who played the son) was doing a far better job at it than her, so I would say less is more. I think that it’s possible for her to do well, but since we’re so use to seeing her do comedic roles it’s hard to see past that unless she does an outstanding job (which I think she did a good job in My Sister’s Keeper). James Marsden is talented and he’s not just talented in a way that’ll get him an Oscar just once and then he does a string of a bunch of disappoints (Halle Berry), but he’ll do it with something that’ll prove on a larger scale that he is a great actor. What he has going for him is that he doesn’t stick to one type of movie and his characters are not always the main focus or the brightest or even the most loved. His diversity is a main reason why I can see how incredibly talented he is.

The story for The Box was very good. It’s why I stayed attentive the entire film. I had read a review stating that maybe people didn’t like it because they had a hard time figuring out what was going on. People do dislike being left in the dark especially when the credits roll and they are still lost in what they had just seen. One of the clues to what goes on in a story like this is held in what they discuss in the film like a play or a novel. Those things are a huge clue as to the film as a whole is or it’s trying to accomplish. Just like in horror movies when it’s the janitor or the gravedigger that knows about what’s going on enough to be cryptic to those that need a straight forward answer. I liked totally not getting what was going on because the film slowly revealed (but at a fast pace) why certain things were going on. Spending time trying to figure out what was going on before the film was over is too distracting from the intent on seeing a movie and that is for entertainment.

Was I entertained? Yes. Did it get me thinking? Yes. Is it a film I would recommend? No. If you are adamant about seeing The Box you should keep in mind that you may not get it by the time it is over. I could tell you the whole film and it wouldn’t ruin much. You most likely still wouldn’t get what was going on in its entirety. I’m really ready for 2012 because I’m up for some mindless entertainment.

The Box isn’t like its title. It’s not contained. It’s far reaching and it goes everywhere at once and expecting to force it to focus to give you a straight answer as to what the hell had gone on ain’t gonna happen. Know it for what it’ll give you a wonderful visual extravaganza with some meaningful flare (acting) here and there, but when you rip off the visual wrapping paper and get to what’s gifted (the meaning) inside don’t be disappointed when all you see is an empty box with a note that says: Think About It.

Genres: Comedy, Thriller, Adaptation and War
Running Time: 1 hr. 33 min.
Release Date: November 6th, 2009 (limited)
MPAA Rating: R for language, some drug content and brief nudity.
Distributors: Overture Films
Production Co.: Smoke House, BBC Films

Directed By: Grant Heslov

JJ Rating: B

The American Military decided to back a group of soldiers that worked to acquire mutant powers…so to speak and the kicker? It’s based on a true story. The Men Who Stare at Goats.

I don’t understand the title because even though that scene happens it’s not something that sums up the entire film very well. Maybe The Loony Loonies would have worked, but someone would have thought about Canadian money. Yes Canadians have their own money.

I had said that George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey would be an amazing four, even a fantastic four, and I was right. Power four pulled what would have been a really bizarre, cruddy movie into something that was just bizarre.

It was quirky and I really, really enjoy quirky. It was just too off kilter for me in a way. I don’t know what to think when The Men Who Stare at Goats was over. It freakin’ threw me for a loop and begged me to believe that what it was sharing was close to the truth. When I think of the military I don’t think of it being a spiritual place and this film flirts with that thought by trying to get the viewer to invest in that possibility and I think it’s going to be really difficult for many people to buy into that.
The Men Who Stare at Goats is not a movie for everyone. I think it’s barely a movie for some people. It really toes the line of the insane, sporadic, erratic and the internet world famous acronym “WTF”. What it had going for it (and the only thing I thought it would have going for it) was the actors and their ability to make a movie just because they are a part of it.

They use LSD in this film and it’s funny because the way the film goes about telling the story I sort of felt like I was (using what I’ve seen in films as a general idea since I’ve never taken it) on LSD. Maybe that’s why I didn’t fully enjoy or understand it because I wasn’t on some form of drug that would make the film more illuminating. Darn my straightedge life. Darn it to heck.