“The Vow” Eh—but Channing Tatum is Getting Better

In Theaters: February 10, 2012

MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for an accident scene, sexual content, partial nudity and some language)

Genres: Romance, Drama

Run Time: 1 hour 44 minutes

Director: Michael Sucsy (last directed Grey Gardens – which I did happen to Netflix and would give it a B+)

JJ Rating: B

Leo (Channing Tatum) and Paige (Rachel McAdams) are newlyweds who end up in a car accident and Paige forgets stuff. Like the fact she's married to Leo...The Vow.

7 Good Things About This Film

1. Channing Tatum is the reason I saw this film because I like to see improvement. Tatum improves, for the most part, in his acting from film to film. I use to feel uncomfortable when he'd be on the screen because my embarrassment for his terrible acting. Now that's subsided. Mostly. Seeing the trailer for 21 Jump Street made me think he fell off the get-better-at-acting bandwagon. God that movie looks so awful.
2. Rachel McAdams is good. She's good at being adorable and very good at being obnoxious. Which in this film, she was very obnoxious because it just felt like the character couldn't trust herself and her choices. She couldn't do some investigating.
3. Tatum and McAdams have decent chemistry. It works.
4. The storyline is not overly mushy and gooey. It's not chickflicky, either.
5. I felt so bad for Leo. I didn't even think of him as Channing Tatum. I saw him as this guy who is madly in love with his wife who doesn't remember him. Which is why Tatum gets better with age...I guess? He has that unassuming charm about him that makes it appear as if he can't get angry, so when he does get angry it's affective. I really liked him in this film. I think this is his best acting job, yet.
6. I didn't feel emotionally charged with sadness for their plight. I wanted them to get back together. I wanted it to work out, but there was no moment where I felt a lump in my throat or like I was going to lose it. I have lost a few tears for a few movies...but recently I can't think of any. Maybe I should make a list of films that I've cried while watching. Haha. The thought amuses me.
7. There were a few touching moments. I can think that they existed, but at this moment I cannot get specific. Meaning I'll have to finish this thought...below.

4 Bad Things About This Film

1. I can't remember the touching moments. I know there were some, but they have left my mind. It's been three days, I would remember them if they were good. And in this case they were not good enough.
2. The annoying old haggy white laddies that sat behind me. I don't care if you think Scott Speedman is ugly. I do care that you sound like a smoking, nagging drunks. But that is, after all, my perception. And as we all know, that matters. A lot.
3. It didn't make me feel emotional. I was all geared up and ready to be that.
4. The most annoying thing about chickflicks (though this one isn't really that chickflicky) are the chicks in the audience. If men acted like that they'd be called pigs.

The Vow had a great trailer. The film was okay-okay. I'm not too excited to write this for how good or how terrible it was. It was just a decent film. Based on the release date, I guess that's a good thing that it wasn't awful. This is the season for awful films. There are a few saving graces out there, but no Avengers. Not yet. Oh, summer can't ye come faster? 

“The Chronicle” The Beginning of Awesome

In Theaters: February 3, 2012

MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for intense action and violence, thematic material, some language, sexual content and teen drinking)

Genres: Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Thriller

Distributors: 20th Century Fox Distribution

Director: Joshua Trank

JJ Rating: A-

Andrew (Dane DeHaan), Steve (Michael B. Jordan) and Matt (Alex Russell) let curiosity get the better of them. They go down into a hole, see a glowing object, touch it and are given telekinetic powers. This is their story. This is The Chronicle of their journey.

14 Good Things About This Film

1. The concept is genius. In an industry that has fawned over superheroes and powers for ages, it's difficult to break into the moviegoer's heart. The concept of teenage boys getting powers is an awesome idea. If anything it gives me material to work with for my book.
2. The hand camera view is interesting in that it's like first person novels. But for some reason for a film it feels more confining than in a novel. However, it works for The Chronicle. I liked it.
3. The CGI work is pretty good considering...however it was notifiable at times.
4. The acting impressed me. I believe I'm a pretty good judge of talent. Dane DeHaan, Michael B. Jordan, and Alex Russell did an awesome job. The Trinity of The Chronicle.
5. Dane DeHaan played Andrew the Moody. He had great intensity in his eyes that creeped me out the moment he knocked the Jeep off the road. That burning intensity that worked in a subtle way. So much pent up aggression over his past and how he's treated at school. He embodied embitterment perfectly.
6. Michael B. Jordan (what a name to live up to without intending on it being so) played Steve the Happy. He did a good job displaying a cheery go-lucky kind of guy. It was infectious. He'd rebound every time he was rebuffed by DeHaan's Andrew. I know someone like him.
7. Alex Russell played Matt the Wise. He was the balance of having a gift to use for fun and for action. He showed moral indignation with amateurish flare. And was my favorite.
8. All three will go on and do more great things in the acting world, if they so choose to. And they should. They have the talent to propel them.
9. I liked that it was in Seattle instead of some overdone area like NYC. Though my book is located in NYC. Therefore I'm not doing what I like. However, it does move from NYC to elsewhere...if that counts for anything. I think it does. That's enough.
10. There were moments when Andrew's camera couldn't be used, so they had another character, Casey the blogger, with a camera. Smart move to have a different vantage point, cause it was necessary and needed.
11. The action sequences were great. Especially at the end with the battle. I didn't expect there to be a massive battle, but there was and it was good.
12. The dialogue is teenager strong. You can't make things too profound, which is why one of the characters was reading about philosophy. But they worked it in there without FORCING it.
13. I liked how Andrew used his powers for popularity only to have himself bring him back down to where he was prior...the drudges.
14. One last hurrah over the Trinity...they (DeHaan, B. Jordan, Russell) made The Chronicle resonate.

2 Bad Things About This Film

1. Time management. A bit more lulling than I think was necessary.
2. Andrew's mother was sick. I didn't get why he couldn't try to help her feel better. This is the curse of being an X-Man fan. I know the powers and understand their multiple uses.

The Chronicle is one of those films that the more I think about it, the more I like it. I was afraid that the film might be so well received that it would ruin The Avengers when they arrived. Instead it was good without overshadowing the greatness of The Avengers. The Chronicle only enhances the anticipation for The Avengers.

And by enhancing it I mean that while sitting there I thought of Peter Parker's uncle Ben saying, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Though technically Peter says it in the comic book... "With great power there must also come—great responsibility!"* Either way I thought of him. When three male teens get powers, that's a recipe for disaster. According to my grandfather one boy has a whole. Two boys have half a brain. Three boys...no brain at all. And throughout my life I found that to be beyond true. You can put the most responsible teenage boys together and they will eventually do something asinine. It's the way it works. The Chronicle taps into that and it's why I really liked it.

The Chronicle was a fresh look of an old tale. The freshness is the camera angle, but it's also the way the characters decided to use their powers. How they progressed in use from fun to dire. I hope that because it's called The Chronicle that there will be more to it than just the beginning. I want there to be. 

“The Grey” is the Color of My Feeling on this Film

In Theaters: January 27, 2012

MPAA Rating: R (for violence/disturbing content including bloody images, and for pervasive language)

Genres: Action/Adventure, Thriller

Run Time: 1 hour 57 minutes

Director: Joe Carnahan

JJ Rating: B

A plane goes down with workers and lots of them die, few live. Those that live try to survive against the elements, but especially against the wolves. The wolves that start picking them off like mean little serial killers. The Grey.

5 Good Things About this Film

1. Fantastic cinematography. Loved the views.
2. Great acting by all the cast. Some got on my nerves, some made me tear up and some made me laugh. They did a great job.
3. Liam Nesson is an actor that brings me moviegoer tingling. See him in a trailer and I want to see that film. He hasn't disappointed...yet.
4. Because of the coldness in the theater the coldness in the film worked that much more.
5. There were several action scenes with the wolves as well with the elements and I thought it was good.

3 Bad Things About this Film

1. The length of the film dragged. I grew a bit tired.
2. Some of the themes in the film are weak. I wish they were stronger and more philosophical than as they were presented. They were presented in a watered down fashion.
3. Liam Nesson almost did disappoint. But almost isn't good enough...yet.

I wouldn't see it again and I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend this film to many people. It isn't even one of those films worth seeing once. It's just all right. Don't put forth effort to see it. 

“Man on a Ledge” But Moviegoer Not on Edge of Seat

In Theaters: January 27, 2012

MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for violence and brief strong language)

Genres: Action/Adventure, Romance, Thriller

Distributors: Summit Entertainment, LLC

Run Time: 1 hour 42 minutes

Director: Asger Leth

JJ Rating: B

He stole a diamond. Or so a rich man said he did. In prison for a crime he swears he didn't commit, he escapes to go out on a ledge to prove his innocence of ever stealing a big karat diamond. Man on a Ledge

5 Good Things About this Film

1. Great chemistry between Jamie Bell and Genesis Rodriguez, made their scenes awesome, fun and very entertaining. Actually their scenes were my favorite.
2. Sam Worthington did a good job with what he had to work with. He is a good actor. He's good enough to get me to the theater to see his next film about Greek Gods even though the first one SUCKED.
3. Elizabeth Banks is pretty and does well.
4. Frustrated with Ed Harris. He was annoying and that makes him a great actor for pulling that off in the small amount of screen time he had.
5. When Joey (Jamie Bell) and Angie (Genesis Rodriguez) have to clean up fast to hide, that was an exciting scene. If only that feeling was injected into the rest of the film. It wasn't, though.

2 Bad Things About this Film

1. Ed Harris was frustrating due to him looking like he needed to eat more. This made him less scary because I wondered why he looked like he was about to waste away before my very eyes. Powerful voice, though. That can't be denied.
2. The story wasn't as strongly awesome as the trailer itself and that's the problem. When the trailer is awesome and the film isn't, I hate the film more than I should have.

I wouldn't suggest this film for anyone to see. It's not worth wasting that exuberant price to sit through. You should rent it. Enjoy it then. Yap. Red Box it or Netflix it. That's it. Later. 

“The Artist” Eh, It was Clever, I Suppose...

In Theaters: November 23, 2011

MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for a disturbing image and a crude gesture)

Genres: Drama, Foreign

Distributors:The Weinstein Company

Director: Michel Hazanavicius

JJ Rating: B+

A silent movie about a silent movie actor. Creative genius? The Artist.

4 Good Things About This Film

1. Creative awesomeness. I liked the idea.
2. Silent films have charm and this film tried to harvest that, and that was cool to watch.
3. I liked how, when they did use sound, they used it with magical flair.
4. Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Béjo were a dynamic duo. They made The Artist worth seeing. For the most part.

4 Bad Things About This Film

1. It was too long to sit there and watch a film without dialogue
2. I don't understand how someone can be nominated for hardly ever speaking for a Golden Globe, but someone that is a voice actor doesn't get nominated at all? How is that reasonable? Andy Serkis voiced Gollum and didn't get nominated for an Golden Globe or an Oscar. Voicing a character has as much talent as showing exaggerated facial expressions.
3. Why is black and white necessary when they do old films? It's so overdone...I thought it would be cool to be silent and in color. Talk about different. Is it really the case that way back when we could ONLY see in Black & White? Haha. Seriously.
4. It was like a short story that they stretched and I noticed how the film would pan out 10 minutes in.

I gave The Artist a high grade due to the acting more so than the story. I believe that if you're a film buff then The Artist is worth seeing. And Jean Dujardin deserves every nomination and award he gets. I want to see a film I will be excited to write a review for. This was not one of them. 

“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” Endearingly Good

In Theaters: December 25, 2011

MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for for emotional thematic material, some disturbing images, and language)

Genres: Adaptation, Drama

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Run Time: 2 hours 9 minutes

Director: Stephen Daldry

JJ Rating: B+

Thomas Horn (Oskar Schell) loses his father on 9/11. Thomas wants his dad back. He finds a clue to something important and goes on a city wide trek to where it'll end up. He meets a lot of people and figures a lot out about himself. An adventure to find himself. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

8 Good Things About This Film

1. Thomas Horn did a fantastic job and even though I found him to be annoying at times, I understood his character's frustration. I think he did a is a great actor. He'll get better and better, for sure. Someone to look out for.
2. Sandra Bullock gots the crying acting down. I didn't cry each time, but did feel her emotion.
3. Viola Davis continues to astound me. From when I saw her in Doubt to now I have been happy that she continues to show that she was worthy of praise.
4. Max von Sydow was silent like the actors in The Artist. He did it in color. Making his part almost better just because silent and in color is far more clever than in black and white. He did a good job with his facial expressions.
5. Horn and von Sydow shared several scenes, but there is one where von Sydow is in the cab. His silent (well all of his parts are silent) facial expressions were powerful.
6. Every scene has power and I don't know if that's tiring or not. I enjoyed it. I liked how each scene had a reason for existing, instead of scenes that are filler moments. The Grey had scenes were there were silence and thinking that lasted way too long. Nothing like that in this film.
7. I like how there are films about touching moments between random people. If people were able to have such moments in real life things might work out better for the world.
8. On a silly note, I like when Thomas Horn and John Goodman had scenes together. They would be really crass with one another in a facetious manner. Humorous.

1 Bad Thing About This Film

1. It is a bit long and I felt it. Which contradicts my comment about how each scene is important. What I meant about important is that the director (Stephen Daldry) created that feel of importance, which doesn't bother me. What does bother me is feeling that the film is long. I can't stand films that go on longer than they should.

I dislike how some people have wrote reviews for this film. It's one thing to dislike the film due to thinking it pushes for you to cry (which I don't think it did), but to state that the main character (the boy) is obnoxious by clearly ignoring that he had a mental disability is down right stupid. The film never stated out right that he had an issue, but it's obvious that the child had a mild forum of autism (though they did touch on it, slightly). Nick Schiller and Joey Shapiro on Flixster talked about how annoying the main character was under full knowledge that the character had a mental disorder. The prejudice one has against such is annoying and reviewers that can't understand that are not worthy of being trusted.

I would argue against anyone that thinks Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is trying to force people to cry. The subject matter is about a child going through a loss that he doesn't fully understand. He deals with it in his own way. He is emotional. The film is emotional. But the film is not trying to make the viewer cry every moment that the characters cry. What foolish stupidity are reviewers dabbling in when they think that? OMG willikers.

Worthy of buying for me. Due to Sandra Bullock, cause I like her and because I like Viola Davis AND, of course, Thomas Horn. 

“Underworld Awakening” Not Enough to Keep Me Interested...

In Theaters: January 20, 2012

MPAA Rating: R (for for strong violence and gore, and for some language)

Genres: Horror, Sequel, Action/Adventure

Distributors: Screen Gems

Run Time: 1 hour 28 minutes

Director: Mans Marlind, Bjorn Stein

JJ Rating: B-

A long fight scene of a film with a thin storyline about...something. Underworld Awakening

4 Good Things About This Film

1. It did have good fight scenes. I did want to see her fight again.
2. Interesting CGI work. I guess.
3. Kate Beckinsale looks great in her costume.
4. How they deal with Micheal is...more interesting than not.

6 Bad Things About This Film

1. Not worth seeing in 3D.
2. Not a great storyline.
3. Eh to some of the action.
4. The need for grotesque blood tossing as well as head splitting and slicing ruined what could have been great moments.
5. Michael being changed to a different actor is a bit unnerving.
6. Writing this review even bores me.

I don't know how to feel about there being a set up for another Underworld. They're not getting progressively better, but they are better than anything Twilight, that's for sure. I wouldn't recommend anyone to go out of their way to see this film...either. I'm tired of saying that. 

Top 10 Films of 2011

This year was difficult to address. In 2010 I was able to have an unmatched favorite. This year I have a lot of favorites, but none that rise to the number one spot. Not like last year when I had a sure winner with The Social Network.

I compiled my grades for 2009 – 2011. Averaged each year's grades and got a clear indication of how awesome that year's films were based on my perfect opinion. The numbers within the parentheses show how many films I saw that year. Then there's the A+ and F. The numbers after them show how many films I gave that grade during that year.

2008 – B.2 (110) A+ = 7 F = 0

2009 – B.1 (98) A+ = 9 F = 1

2010 – B.4 (95) A+ = 8 F = 0

2011 – B -.7 (79) A+ = 1 F = 1

This shows how good 2008 and 2009 were, how awesome 2010 was and how terrible movies in 2011 was. I saw 16 films less in 2011 than in 2010 and 31 less than 2008. Proving how SUCKY this year has been for films. Look at the films nominated for Golden Globes. BORING.

This is my list of TOP 10 FILMS IN 2011.

10.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

JJ Rating: A

 Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint have been the Trinity of Harry Potter since the beginning. With each film, they’ve enhanced their characters that were once just words on a page. They put the final touches on the characters they’ve embodied for a decade, and it was a magical, final touch.

9.  Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol 

JJ Rating: A

There's so many fight scenes and every single one is AWEsome. This is the action movie of the year, not that crappy stupid Fast and Furious Infinity. And my opinion counts a thousand more than any whacked out duchebrain that liked that film as a great action film.

8.  Warrior 

JJ Rating: A-

The film is a male oriented. This isn't a feminized male film with faux emotions. This is how the male mind works. Very within. Less talking, more physical. The way the brothers talked, the way the father-son conversations went...it made sense to me. It worked so well. It didn't water it down like many films do.

7.  Super 8 

JJ Rating: B+

It created a time machine in my mind and brought my childhood back. Uber awesome.

 6.  The Muppets/Winnie the Pooh
JJ Rating: A
Without meaning too, Winnie the Pooh might be one of the funniest films this year. Not the funniest, but one of them. Its wit plays off well thought out events and lines. Some films this year are gross funny, haha for a moment. They’re forgetting that films are created for entertainment for years to come, more than just that moment.

JJ Rating: A+

Hearing and seeing the theme from “The Muppet Show” brought me back to when I was younger. It's a feeling of warmth (not the same as peeing on oneself) that not many things can bestow. It's a wholesome feeling. Very rare to feel that for any film that's out right now.

5.  Crazy, Stupid, Love

JJ Rating: A

Whoever did the trailer did a phenomenal job. It gave NOTHING away but the bare bones. So much goes on in this film that if any of it was given away in the trailer, then the film would have not been as great. 

4.  Captain America: The First Avenger

JJ Rating: A

Captain America welded together humor, action and drama as well as any superhero film, especially The Dark Knight, I say that because I never recalled feeling a tinge of sadness watching Batman, ever.

3.   X-Men: First Class

JJ Rating: A

The story. Fantastic. I had doubts about this film from the onset because it’s FIRST CLASS and there’s no Cyclops or Jean Grey. But they impressed me a lot. It was also impressive how they retold certain areas of X-Men lore that any X-Fan knows. I’m hardcore and still found the retelling as great as the original in the comics.

2.  Thor

JJ Rating: A

Thor is everything that a summer movie should be as well as a superhero movie should be. A standard that Marvel has created with Iron Man only to step it up with Thor the mighty Marvel movie that jumpstarts Summer with a fresh bolt of refreshing lightning. The God of Thunder trumps the silver screen. One can only imagine how great Captain America will be when it arrives. I use to think that Captain America was the one to watch out for, and I still do, but now it has to outdo Thor. And the only way it can do that is by inviting me to the premiere of Captain America. So not joking.

1.  50/50

JJ Rating: A

It has a lot of humanity in it. If I were to offer up films to aliens who didn't know about humans films to bring them up to speed, I'd pick this one.

Honorable Mentions

The Help
Atlas Shrugged

Cars 2

Limitless

Rise of thePlanet of the Apes

Source Code

Bridesmaids 

In a year that had a plethora of crap released week after week, it was hard to compile the worst without including 80% of the films I reviewed. I narrowed it down to ten. Most (if not all) were rated from D+ down to F.

10 WORST FILMS OF 2011

10.  Cowboys & Aliens

JJ Rating: D+

4. The idea was better in conception than birth. 
7. I almost fell asleep...many times. 

9.  Unknown

JJ Rating: D+

Unknown should have not only stayed that way, but I shouldn’t have ever sat there and watch it.

8.  Ides of March

JJ Rating: D+

Two white men running in the Democratic Primary? Really? How the hell is that creative? Movies are fantasy. They are not really reality and if you're bound by what is real, you will get nowhere fast. I cannot believe a party of HOPE AND CHANGE would go for just two white men. Just a tad bit of creativity. A woman. A black woman. An Asian woman. A gay man. Two white men...is so every President since before Obama. 

7.  In Time

JJ Rating: D+

Cruddy writing. I cannot believe someone read this and went OMG I's gotta do this. Morons. It was so boring. The lines were cruddy. They lines were cliché. The lines stunk of uncreative mind.

6.  Beastly

JJ Rating: D+

 It’s worse (and I know some people think that’s not possible) thanThe Last Airbender.

5.  Red Riding Hood

JJ Rating: D

Red Riding Hood is boring and not thrilling and I wouldn’t ever want to see it again. The script is bland and I can’t remember a single line from it. I don’t even want to remember a single line from it. 

4.  Paul

JJ Rating: D

I watched. I waited. I watched. I waited. However, the humor never really came. A few chuckles here and there, but nothing worth remembering. It lacked anything original and had everything an angry atheist could dream of. They poked fun at rednecks. Oh wait, I’ve never seen that before. In. My. Life. Wow. So new. So creative. So funny---if this were the 90’s.

3.  Sucker Punch

JJ Rating: D

I bought the storyline. As in, I didn’t find it silly or cheesy. The problem was that the story I watched bored me to tears. TEARS….of pain and sorrow. I wanted to sleep. I did. 

2.  Your Highness

JJ Rating: D-

The only reason Your Highness didn’t get a F is because I’m nice. And that’s rare. Thank James Franco and Natalie Portman.

1.  Breaking Dawn Pt. 1

JJ Rating: F-

OMG, the back and forth with the I love you, no I love you, NO I LOVE YOU a lot...was disgusting. Every time they kissed I wanted to not throw up. I tried really hard not to throw up. This film literally made me sick to my stomach. It should be illegal that so many cliches were able to congregate in one film. And the person that allows it should be shot, a lot...in the face.

2011 was mainly forgettable. The terrible movies will be forgotten. My Top 10 are awesome, but it's unfair that they were released in such a dismal and boring year for film.

On to 2012.

On to the Golden Globes were I'll whine about the crappy nominees and how Thor, Captain America and X-Men First Class were ignored for the talents that made them great. Not to mention the blatant ignoring of Winnie the Pooh. It was far better than at least one of the nominees in Best Animated Film. Not to mention these dumb people's need to nominate crap that no one sees. If you want to do that, take it off the air. And what's up with not nominating Tom Hiddleston for best Supporting Actor? Stupid.

Then on to the Oscars, only, I'm sure, to be disappointed by their lack of nominating the best and only nominating the films that strive too hard to get the nods.

At least there's the new Star Trek film, The Avengers and the new Spider-Man. Slightly hopeful for 2012, even though we're all going to die. Dumb Mayans.  

“War Horse” Emotional Horse Tale

Genres: Action/Adventure, Adaptation and Drama

Release Date: December 25th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for for intense sequences of war violence.

Distributors: Walt Disney Studios Distribution

Director: Steven Spielberg

JJ Rating: B+

Albert (Jeremy Irvine) gets a horse and names him Joey. He grows close to the horse as if they were best friends. The British Army ends up acquiring Joey. Joey goes through the war from army to army, owner to owner to only end up back with Albert? Maybe. War Horse.

8 Good Things About This Film

1. Jeremy Irvine does such a good job that I don't think I could have had a care in the world if it were not for his acting. He made me believe that him and Joey had a real friendship. Because of his acting (and Steven Spielberg's directing) the connection withstood the long duration of the middle until the end when the conclusion.
2. Tom Hiddleston (played Captain Nicholls) did not have a lot of screen time, but he displayed exactly what I already knew from Thor. He's a fantastic actor. He conveys a lot of information through his facial expressions. I will be livid if he is ignored for his role as Loki. I have not seen a single actor who has outdone him this entire year.
3. Steven Spielberg did a very good job. His films have an emotional impact that I cannot explain how it's possible. I feel the emotion. If someone else doesn't feel it, too bad.
4. There were playful moments between characters. Unexpected things occurred. One scene when enemies share a moment out of firing at one another. It reminded me of the Christmas Truce http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/truce.asp during WWI. If that were put in a movie, someone would claim it not true. But as we all know, truth is stranger than fiction. With that in mind the scene that's similar in War Horse isn't nearly as impossible as cynics would grump over.
5. One of my favorite endings of a film. I like when they show something at the beginning, only to use it again at the end. But the way they show it wasn't “Hey look at this, remember this for later.” They showed it as part of a story and I didn't think anything of it until moments before it was repeated again at the end.
6. I have a high standard when it comes to emotional scenes. Star Trek set the bar with Kirk's parents at the beginning. The mere minutes they had together created a sadness I rarely feel for any film that lasts way longer. (Like We Bought A Zoo). In War Horse they had several different storylines that intertwined due to Joey. Each one was good, some are better than others. This way of storytelling isn't my favorite, but I enjoyed it overall. Some really likeable characters show up.
7. WWI is rarely the war of choice to do a film about. WWII is something we are used to seeing a backdrop for a war film. So seeing WWI as a backdrop here is good. It gives an idea of how the war was. They used horses. A lot. So much so there is a causality list that includes the lost of horses. War Horse displays scenes that many people didn't know happened during WWI...the uses of horses to pull heavy equipment. I knew that WWI used horses, but the idea that they pulled large weaponry didn't cross my mind. It makes sense, I just never gave it much thought.
8. For some reason I like to see horses shown as smart. I don't like when people think animals as stupid just because.

3 Bad Things About This Film

1. The length. I have, as I've repeatedly stated, grave difficulty dealing with a long film.
2. Dealing with a woman who came in and opened a bag of chips as if she were out to win a noise contest and proceeded to masticate like a cow. I took it upon myself to kindly tell her to stop because she was ruining my viewing experience. And she stopped. Why do people think they have the right to ruin my movie? Seriously.
3. It was mildly over dramatic, but not nearly as bad as some reviews make people think. I took into consideration that they only have a few moments to give these characters personality and us to feel for them.

War Horse is nominated for Golden Globe, Best Picture – Drama. I wouldn't have picked it for Best Picture. And looking at the list it totally backs my feeling that this year was a terrible year for films. It was hard for me to pick ten movies to put on my top ten list. War Horse is certainly for the older generation. Anyone younger than 35 will have a hard time enjoying it. And I did not pick this film for a very good reason, I could not sit through it again. 

“The Adventures of Tintin” Easy on the Eyes

Running Time: 1 hr. 41 min.

Release Date: December 21st, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG for for adventure action violence, some drunkenness and brief smoking.

Distributors: Paramount Pictures

Director: Steven Spielberg

JJ Rating: B+

Tintin (voiced by Jamie Bell) is out to find ships that were owned by Captain Haddock's (voiced by Andy Serkis) family. The Adventures of Tintin.

8 Good Things About This Film

1. I was in awe of how incredible the animation looked. How seamless it moved. The water. The fire. The everything. It looked great.
2. The story moved nicely.
3. Jamie Bell and Andy Serkis did a very good job using their voices, which is not as easy as just talking. You have to have the right tone, inflection, and whatever. It sounded good. I enjoyed their voice acting.
4. Great action scenes. Chasing the bird with the clue in its talon was fun. I know it wasn't just any “bird” but specifics isn't what I'm going for here. The breaking up the motorcycle was thrilling.
5. There were a lot of funny moments. Thompson (voiced by Simon Pegg) and Thompson (voiced by Nick Frost) had their fair share. The fire in the boat scene that's shown on the very good trailer. The beginning of the entire film made me laugh. And I don't even recall ever reading any of Tintin's comics, and still that scene made me laugh. I was one of the only ones laughing. Americans.
6. It was warm and fun and I had a good time seeing it, even though I saw in 3D. It was worth it. It's not like it's necessary to see it in 3D, but I had fun.
7. Steven Spielberg did a good job. He knows what he's doing. I know that I will not be so bored in a Spielberg film that I'll want to leave. He, for me, is a safe bet. I like that he's consistent in that respect.
8. This movie did things that would cost an arm and a leg to film if it were not for this kind of animation. I think that they put into this film a lot of neat stuff for that reason. And one of those things was the motorcycle falling apart. That was just awesome. I know it's next to impossible to happen, but that's what makes films fun. Making the impossible seem possible.

1 Bad Thing About This Film

1. The only bad thing I can think of was that the story had some low moments that dragged and there were too many of them. The story wasn't strong enough to hold the entire film together. I think that if it were not for the characters, the movie would have failed. I mean that the story was too simple for the length it took to tell.

The Adventures of Tintin is a good family film. You wanna take your family to see a fun film that's cleaner than most? This will work.

It's nominated for a Golden Globe for best Animated film. If Cars 2 doesn't win, I'd rather this one win. It's animation is just wow good. But story wise Cars 2 has them beat. 

“We Bought a Zoo” And Why Should I Care?

Genres: Adaptation and Drama

Release Date: December 23rd, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG for language and some thematic elements.

Distributors: 20th Century Fox Distribution

Director: Cameron Crowe

JJ Rating: B-

Based on the true story of Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon) buying a zoo to start a new life with his family. We Bought a Zoo.

5 Good Things About This Film

1. The acting. No stand outs, but it was good. This was not a reason for the suckiness of the film. Actually I think that by a small bit Elle Fanning stood out. After seeing her in Super 8, this was different. From serious in Super 8 to down right quirky in this film, Elle Fanning shows that she's got range.
2. I liked this line said by Benjamin Mee to his son, “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” And I liked how they tied it in to telling the entire story.
3. That line connects to how the film ends and I like the story Benjamin tells about meeting his wife. So wonderfully done. I wonder why the rest of the film couldn't be that good.
4. There were a few funny scenes, but that's all I remember was that they existed.
5. One of my favorite moments was at the beginning when the son said pernicious. That's because I use that as the name of a character in my book. I laughed knowing that not too many people (in that theater and the world) knows what that word means. Nor do they have to. I didn't know what it meant before I searched for a word that would match what the character was.

3 Bad Things About This Film

1. The way the story was told. I was bored through most of the film.
2. The script was forgettable, except for the scenes I mentioned.
3. I was bored through most of it.

--Shrug--

“Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” Breathtaking Action, YES!

Genres: Action/Adventure, Adaptation, Sequel and Thriller

Running Time: 2 hrs. 12 min.

Release Date: December 16th, 2011 (IMAX); December 21st, (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence.

Distributors: Paramount Pictures

Director: Brad Bird

JJ Rating: A

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is in prison for a reason that is not clear. Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and Jane Carter (Paula Patton) rescue Ethan. Then their world gets turned upside down. People die. Missions are given. And action happens until the end. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.

10 Good Things About This Film

1. Despite Tom Cruise being a weird man, his acting is of the highest caliber. It's hard to watch a film with him in it and not be entertained. He has a talent and I will not ignore it just because I think his beliefs are questionable. That's like ignoring Doctor House because he's a douchebag or not paying attention to Walter Bishop because he's crazy. Tom Cruise sets out to do a good job acting and most of his films, that's exactly what he does.
2. OMG, the best action scenes in a loooong while. I felt my fear of heights when they were in Dubai and feared that Ethan might die, even though I knew he wasn't going to. And that's great movie making when you make the audience think something bad is going to happen, even though they're sure it won't.
3. There's so many fight scenes and every single one is AWEsome. This is the action movie of the year, not that crappy stupid Fast and Furious Infinity. And my opinion counts a thousand more than any whacked out duchebrain that liked that film as a great action film.
4. Great pacing. It's a long film, but rarely was their a moment that I wondered how much longer. I might have thought it once, but that's not a lot considering how long it is and how much I dislike films that are longer than an hour and forty-five minutes.
5. Comedic moments happened quite a few times. The good thing was that Tom Cruise was able to do a bit of physical comedy in the sense of constant abuse to his head. If any person really hit their head as much as he did, they'd try out for the NFL showing they can take a beating and keep on getting beaten.
6. Direct Brad Bird did an amazing job, seeing how this is his first stint outside of Pixar films. Wow and wow and woooow.
7. Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner and Paula Patton did a very good job of supporting Tom Cruise. Let's face it, this was a Tom Cruise film through and through. Either he did great and looked great or he did bad and looked terrible. He did great and therefore anyone around him is supporting his greatness.
8. Amazing scenery. The shots of Armani Hotel in Dubai were beautiful, stunning and made me want to visit...which I'm assuming that's one of the reasons why they agreed to allowed the building's use. If only I had the money.
9. As I think back (and reread my reviews of the previous two) on the Mission Impossibles of the past, I have to say that this one is pretty darn good and most likely the best. Even better than the first.
10. Love the tech. I want a table like they had in the train car...sooo bad. Also the gloves (though fake) were pretty awesome. The car, though WAY out of my price range, was awesome due to the fact that it had a table-like windshield. I just want that table.

1 Bad Thing About This Film

1. A moment or two where the film lags. But with a 2+ hour clock time, that is bound to happen. Nothing terrible.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol had all the right impossible to make it an outstanding choice for a movie night. I'm composing my Top Ten list for 2010 and this is most likely going to be on it. 

“Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” Well Played, Holmes, Well Played

Genres: Adaptation, Action/Adventure and Sequel

Release Date: December 16th, 2011 (wide)

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures

Director: Guy Ritchie

JJ Rating: B+

Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) is at it again. Dr. John Watson (Jude Law) is now married and wants to enjoy a honeymoon. But he can't, because Holmes is on the train with bad...no terrible news. Watson's honeymoon has been canceled due to Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) and his daring idea to create world war. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.

8 Good Things About This Film

1. Witty. It is as witty as I remember the first one. Which makes me feel comfortable and welcome these wonderful characters back into my movie heart.
2. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law have an ungay chemistry that Brokeback Mountain wished it had...cause it had a real gay relationship that bordered on the unbelievable—except the end. I will always remember that scene at the parent's house as one of the better movie scenes.
3. Noomi Rapace is adorable and her adorableness worked so well that I cannot stop thinking about how adorable she is. Her acting job also had a hand in my want to remember her. She created a great Trinity with Downey and Law. Which sounds like a law firm.
4. Jared Harris as the villain scared me in such a way that only mental villains can. They get in your head and freak you out. He freaked me out. My favorite kind of villain. I don't like the physical going to beat you bloody raw villains. I like the ones that will word slaughter you with monosyllabic words, cause with the right infliction, those cut deeper than any sword or bullet a human could forge.
5. Guy Ritchie did a good job. The film flowed nicely, excluding the slow bits, but that's forgivable...a tad.
6. Great costumes. Period pieces can become trite when they deal with costumes. These weren't along those lines and I appreciate that.
7. I really like the way he does that precog thing with the fights. Creative greatness, if I do type myself. I am glad they still used that.
8. I believe the last fifteen minutes of this film are the most awesome last fifteen minutes of this or any film released this year. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows has one of the best (if awards were given they'd get it) endings all year. I really like the ? Because that let me with a grin.

1 Bad Thing About This Film

1. There was slow bits, and those slow bits dragged down my grade. Yes it did. Yes. It. Did.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows was as good as the first. I enjoyed. Good entertainment. However, I will not be putting this on my Top 10 List of 2011. It's worth seeing. Worth getting away from the in-laws for a bit. Tell them Jammer said you may and they'll allow it. 

“New Year's Eve” Only Marginally Better than Valentines Day

Genres: Romance and Comedy

Release Date: December 9th, 2011 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for language including some sexual references.

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures

Director: Garry Marshall

JJ Rating: B-

A bunch of people run around getting ready for New Year's Eve. Yay.

3 Good Things About This Film

1. Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer were the two best. But especially Zac Efron, because he's a different character for every movie he's in. And that is awesome to behold, considering how many people “act”, but never different enough that they couldn't be exchanged like a boring light blub.
2. Lea Michele did a great job. Nice to hear her sing. She, too, can act, seeing how she took on a role that wasn't similar to her Rachel role on “Glee.” Though, of course, they got her to sing. Something Efron avoids at all cost. Or so it seems. Though I heard a rumor he wants to guest star on “Glee.”
3. These are the only two stories I will remember from this film and that's a good thing, considering the other stories were not that good. At. All.

6 Bad Things About This Film

1. Valentines Day 2.
2. Too many story lines that were NOT interesting.
3. Too long.
4. Not enough greatness from the amount of STAR power that was in it.
5. Too long. Oh, I mentioned that. Well it was too long and saying it twice shows how long too long really is.
6. What's next? Saint Patrick's Day? Christmas? Fourth of July? Birthday? Ugh...it's never ending. There are 365 days of the year, and I'm sure each day has holiday that they could exploit. Meaning, two down...362 left.

It's only worth it if you have nothing to do and you are not looking to be thoroughly entertained.