“Rio” Not For My Non Existent Kids

Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy and Animation
Running Time: 1 hr. 36 min.
Release Date: April 15th, 2011 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG for mild off-color humor.
Distributors: 20th Century Fox Distribution

Director: Carlos Saldanha

JJ Rating: B

See it again: maybe.
Own it: no.
Recommend to: families with children, of course.
Worth seeing in NYC: if you have kids…otherwise, not really.

Blu (Jesse Eisenberg) and Jewel (Anne Hathaway) are the last Blue Macaws in the world. They’re brought together to like one another and breed. Bird sellers kidnap them. Their owners search for the birds that end up finding friends and each other. Rio.

All in all Rio is a fun movie. Colorful, somewhat creative and okay funny. The most creative (and this is sad to say, but it’s true) thing I saw in Rio is Nico (voiced by Jamie Foxx) a small little bird that wears a bottle cap as a hat. That hat was genius. It gave Rico instant personality. Everyone did great with their voices. I was impressed with Jesse Eisenberg’s because he had a lot of levity and fear in his voice more so than I’ve heard in any of his films. I’m not one that thinks he can’t, I’m just glad to have proof he can.

Rio had a weak script. The entire kidnapping didn’t fit in with the fun trailer. It’s weird and awkward. When that dark aspect showed and jarred the flow. It pulled me out of the relaxing film and shoved me out in my bare feet on gravel in the sun. They didn’t gradually introduce the kidnappers that were a little creepy in the pedophile looking kind of way. They weren’t important enough in the film to be cared about or afraid of. They were too stupid to be as entertaining as they should have been.

Rio entertained with a sprinkle of heart. Nowhere near as much heart as Pixar films have and just barely more than DreamWorks animation. I’d watch some scenes over again, but I wouldn’t want to sit though all of it again. An hour and thirty-six minutes is a long time for an animated film. They could have cut it down some and the music wasn’t that catchy. I’m a sucker for animated films with good music. I’ll go home and buy it off Itunes and listen too it a lot. That’s what I did with Tangled. Rio’s music didn’t kidnap my ears.

Rio will entertain kids. Not much entertainment for adults. I can’t even recall a single line from the film that made me laugh out loud, but I did laugh out loud in a few areas. The lines just aren’t good enough to stick around. It’s just another time I’m glad I don’t have kids, because I wouldn’t want them to latch onto a film like this, beg for it when it’s released to watch at home and then watch it endlessly. I would die if I saw this endlessly. My future kids aren’t allowed to like it. That is all. Good day.

I write like: David Foster Wallace

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