Survivor Redemption Island EP- 6 - The Moron Episode

On Redemption Island Krista likes Matt and his positive attitude. She likes that he prays. Her luxury item arrives and it’s a pink bible. Matt is excited over the bible. They pray about the duel. Yeah, cause God really puts his energy into helping people win a game. He also helps people get Grammys, Oscars and get rich. Well, not Oscars. That’s picked by ugly gremlins with nasty toes.

Matt says that it’s great to have someone from the faith community there with him. He states that it’s hard to be the only one. Uh, maybe you shouldn’t put yourself into a weak situation like that. I like you Matt, but choosing to play Survivor, you should know what kind of people would surround you. Duh.

Stephanie and Krista were on the outs last episode and it just so happens that Krista was voted out first. Now Stephanie is worried she’s next, with good reason. So when they voted last tribal they had to pick someone and they decided to pick, who they thought was the weakest, Steve. Boy she didn’t know how whiney Steve would be over being voted for in a game where most people end up getting a vote sometime in the game (unless their name is Tina).

He couldn’t believe and understand why they voted for him. Uh, you voted for Krista and she’s not in the game any more, but you’re worried over how you got TWO VOTES? Give me a break. Good lord. Then he has the audacity to state she’s tightening a noose around her neck. One, if she were black there would be a riot about the mention of the noose and two she’s the last one. Who else is in a noose? Don’t lie, don’t say Sarita. Liar. Moron.

Philip flips but still keeps that nasty red underwear on. I think if he stays longer, there will be holes in that there underwear soon. He gets mad over Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee’s (Ashley and Natalie not respectively. It doesn’t matter who has what name, they be both stupid) lack of help. He tells them to help and goes on about how the guys help. Boston Rob thinks that it’s great he’s causing problems, but decides to step in because there has to be some sort of team and Philip was defiantly splitting it with his harsh anger. He calmed him down. Boston Rob doesn’t mind that Ashley and Natalie act like a stupid (redundant) Tweedle. No one is going to give money to lazy players.

Philip states that if he goes to Redemption Island before those two morons, he’d be upset. As he should be, they are stupid.

Andrea and Natalie. Julie and Mike - Captain Average. They watch Matt vs. Krista. A table maze with a ball. Krista was ahead for most of the game, but Matt hit his stride again and won.

Krista cries over losing and leaving the game. She gives Matt her pink clad bible. I saw that coming. So did Andrea. Apparently, God’s will was done according to Krista. Retarded.

Speaking of retarded, Andrea shows how moronically jealous she can be by getting upset of Krista sharing her pink bible with Matt. OHNOSE that means they had sex all over Redemption Island. She’s a moron. Food or no food, no one should be that stupid.

David the annoying double talk lawyer likes Stephanie because she’s strong in challenges, and dislikes Sarita for her weakness and especially because of her stupid complaining over her adult teeth.

My teeth are killing me. Feel sorry for me. Don’t think I’m weak, just feel sorry for me. Tell me my assessment of the condition of my teeth is right. Thanks.

However, Stephanie burned bridges via being on Russell’s side so blatantly and unabashed. She created her own hell and now that she has to live in it, she’s blaming those that she doesn’t like. Don’t make your bed if you ain’t going to slumber in it, moron.

Stephanie tries to rebuild the bridges, but it’s difficult when all you have to work with is ash. She tells Steve she’s sorry for voting for him. Why would anyone think that they should do that, I don’t know. Steve = douchebag if he needs to be apologized to for someone writing his name down at tribal in SURVIVOR. Low and behold, whose name does he write down at tribal? Moron. Stephanie tries to sow a seed that Sarita is weak sauce, but we all know, idiots can’t think beyond what they wish to be true and loyal -- their own alliance. Few are worth keeping to the end, most are not. Cut ties when you know it’s advantageous.

Normally I have a favorite team, but this season it’s difficult to like either over the other. I don’t care. The reason I don’t care is that both teams have excess baggage they can get rid of. I am just happy that Matt has not lost yet. All it takes is once.

Winners of Immunity/Reward challenge get a picnic lunch. Sarita, shocker, is placed on the bench. They didn’t even take a moment to think about it. A point that Stephanie sharpened is that there will be six to six, an even number. Making it impossible to sit anyone out and they’ll have to use Sarita, but these fools didn’t care. Morons.

Two people sling out balls to their teammates and the team that catches the most wins. Natalie and Grant had an uncanny connection. Practically every single ball she hurled he caught. Boston Rob’s team won. Farmer Bill -- Ralph -- got upset over not being able to catch the balls. He didn’t try hard enough. He just likes to blame other people for his failures. He’s a tame Russell. Boston Rob’s team showed what Russell’s Ex-tribe didn’t--team unity.

Their picnic looks yummy. Boston Rob sees hidden immunity idol clue. Grant snatches it. They check out the view, but really read the clue. Philip catches them. Boston Rob says it was like being caught by the principle. They try to play it off, but Philip is not buying it. He calls him Grant and Boston Rob Steal R Us and he proceeds to share their positions in this group. He’s insanely smart. And I stress the insane part a lot. Philip is the Gary Buesy of Survivor (if you watch Apprentice you’d know what I mean). They both babble like a lunatic, but sometimes they drop profound thinking and Philip is well aware of where he stands and who doesn’t like him. He’s not delusional like some contestants are who have acted as he has. He’s growing on me. He really is. It’s weird. Philip is upset. He feels trashed on. He doesn’t feel appreciated. Everyone likes to be appreciated. The girls should say thank you to him for his hard work and still not do anything and I bet he’d accept that.

David tries to get Stephanie to stay and have his alliance out Sarita. Sarita decides to not campaign. She trusts her alliance. She can’t win this game at all. David stresses how import it is to win and that trust can come later (meaning after the merge). That is what a lawyer would say. Lawyers. They’re so easy to pick out of a crowd. They can’t be decisive and they can justify anything. Because one too many think they are smart enough to argue both sides flawlessly. They’re not.

At tribal, Mike agrees that Sarita is dead weight and that she’s coasting. Then he adds a stupid comment showing he wouldn’t vote her out. “If” Stephanie can prove she can be trusted….yeah okay. That means you’re excusing yourself for voting out Stephanie instead of Sarita over a technicality you just made up to show you’re being reasonable when you’re not. Stephanie doesn’t hold back and lashes out at Sarita. If this were the boardroom, Sarita would be fired for not fighting back. She has zero fight. Meaning that what Stephanie said is true. Who knew Whore Waitress the minion of Russell could look like a victim (sort of) as she gets her flame snuffed? I didn’t see it coming.

I didn’t care If Stephanie or Sarita went. Sarita would have been the smart move, but whoever said people were smart? They tease cars and walk in the middle of the street thinking that no one can run them over because the law physically protects them. Yeah…one day someone will prove that a deadly idea.

Stephanie went. It doesn’t matter. I have a strong feeling (and I reserve my right to be wrong) that Matt will last to whenever they allow him back. He’s not cocky. He’s very persistent. He won’t allow anyone to get a weak him. He brings his all. Matt is proving to be unstoppable and I really believe anyone that does what he does and gets to the end of the game deserves to win. Because if he comes back when individual immunity is at play, who could defeat him?

The Caustic Survivor Fan has spoken…

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