“Red Riding Hood” Seyfried, No More

Genres: Romance, Suspense/Horror and Adaptation
Running Time: 1 hr. 40 min.
Release Date: March 11th, 2011 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violence and creature terror, and some sensuality.
Distributors: Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by: Catherine Hardwicke
JJ Rating: D

Own it: Never.
See it again: Nope.
Recommend it to: No one.

Good
Vibrant colors at times.
Good acting by Shiloh Fernandez, Max Irons and Gary Oldman

Bad
Everything else, practically
The script
The reveal
The ending
Amanda Seyfried’s acting

Someone’s the wolf that’s attacking the villagers where Valerie lives. Ohnose, who is it? Red Riding Hood.

I picked the above screen shot because that was one reason to see the film. He’s good with his role. That’s not saying a lot seeing how the entire concept is ludicrous and the answer to who the wolf is-is not something one could see before the reveal. It’s too tricky. I look back on the “clues” and can’t see how one could have figured it out without going through guessing until right. Meaning they didn’t do well enough. If they did, I would have said OOH instead of oh.

Shiloh Fernandez, Max Irons (son of Jeremy Irons, in case you didn’t know) and Gary Oldman all did a good job with what they had to work with and that’s very little. The film could have fallen flat without any redeeming value if it were not for those three. Amanda Seyfried seems to have gone the way of the unable to act. She’s regressed a lot. I can’t remember a film that she’s done well in, recently.

Red Riding Hood is boring and not thrilling and I wouldn’t ever want to see it again. The script is bland and I can’t remember a single line from it. I don’t even want to remember a single line from it. I’d never recommend it to anyone no matter who they were. It’s best to never see the film again as long as one lives if they had already seen it. It’s best to never see the film for a first time if one hasn’t. My opinion on this is pretty iron clad. You’re welcome.

I write like: David Foster Wallace