American Idol Top 13 Perform

The Idols pick songs from their Music Idols.

This is a fluid blog on American Idol. This week I decided to just write what I thought about the performance as it was going on. And, yes, I bounce around in tense. You may hate it if you’re a grammar Nazi, and I’d agree for three seconds.

The guys are stronger singers. VFTW and the judges were wrong in their assessments last week on the stronger sex.

The VFTW corner can be nitpicked a bit more so. I’ll allow it.

Calming Good
Busting out the meh
Bleh to the nth degree

Lauran - 01 - Boring
Any Man of Mine - Shania Twain

What is that? A frayed cloud? No.
Sounds flat. Flat like her shoes. Ew. No.
Not enough of that Lauran charm she had throughout the process. Where’s the FEELING?
I like that she said sorry for not kickin’ it to Steven.

Casey - 02 wOw

A Little Help from My Friends - Joe Crocker

Shake it up Casey. Got the feeling. I felt that song. I was touched. Dirty. Very. Growling Great.

Ashthon - 03 Bleh to the nth degree.
When You Tell Me That You Love Me- Diana Ross

She looked beautiful. Great silver shiny slip and slide dress.
FLAT…wow. Flat like earth flat back in the way back time.
I am so going to barf.

Paul - 04 - Calming Good - VFTW Pick

Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams

He said Ryan Adams with an R because people like to confuse him with Bryan Adams. Ryan got pissy when someone called out a song in his concert for Bryan Adams. That was many years ago, but still, I remember.

His weird clothes are weird in a charming good personality kind of way. His singing was calming good. Nothing standoutish about it, but good is better than boring. Love the way he sings despite the lie that VFTW thinks he’s the worst. They had to pick someone, they lost their real choices. Remember that, they don’t have a person in the top 13 at all.

Pia - 05 - Busting out the Meh
All By Myself - Celine Dion

I love her glasses. Girls in glasses are pretty hot for some reason.
She has a cape on a dress…uh, makes her Princess Big Hips. Not flattering at all. Go back to jeans and glasses. Hotness there. This song is all kinds of flat. Not good. Meh. Celine’s singing is pretentious. Maybe this works for her because of that…it’s just not jiving for me. And yes I used jiving.

James - 06 - Awesomtastic

Maybe I’m Amazed - Paul McCartney

My little Monkey Ears. His clothes are not flattering. Makes him look all kinds of fat. Last week not looking fat, this week…lookin. Like the vest, because I like vest. I don’t know what it is, but he sings similar to Adam Lambert, but I don’t find his singing annoying and by annoying I mean the screaming. I like Adam’s singing, just not during Idol. He screamed a lot. James didn’t. One of my favorites tonight. Good job, James.

Haley - 07 - Nice
Blue - Leann Rimes

I hate her dress. Her hair looks weird. The whole set up is too eh…huh? She did a good job. I did enjoy this more than last week. Liked the tone, but she needs to work on it a bit more for me to really, really like her. I agree with Randy, she needed a bit of punch. Even softer side can have punch, it was slightly boring, but I found it to be…nice.

Jacob - 08 - Nice

I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly

He has such a great personality that bubbles in every direction, which is bad…because then you know when he’s upset. He can’t hide it. He needs to button that coat. Looks frumpy. No good. I felt that Adam Lambert came back as a black church going boy. Eh, it was all right. Too much big mouth moments. He needs to tame the wild animal a bit, but then again it’s him. Maybe I just don’t like that. I’ll see if he grows on me like mold.

Thia - 09 -Busting out the meh
Smile - Michael Jackson

I know Charlie sang it, she didn’t. She didn’t even know who he was. That’s forgiven…slightly. She needs to see City of Lights. One of the best movies ever made, that’s for sure. It has its own charm that many movies on top 200 on IMDB don’t have. GLEE has done this song and I’m comparing. Yes I am. She is wearing a nice dress. I think I’m hating on the females and their clothing a lot. It’s just so lacking in taste. She’s killing the song as in it’s dying on stage slow and painful. Did not like it.

Stefano - 10 - Boring

Lately - Stevie Wonder

He looks like a little boy. His mommy must have dressed him. Not working. I like him, but this song is boring. He does have a big voice, but this song is not working for me. I’ll vote for him, a little bit, but not as much if I liked the song. Ew, no to the end. No, no and no.

Karen – 11 - Bleh to the nth degree
I Could Fall in Love - Selena

She should try to actually sing. I’m sick of the girls, they are boring me to tears. Her dress is not a dress…it’s a pant suit without the Hilary. Flat singing, too.

Scotty - 12 - Calming Good

The River - Garth Brooks

I love this song. I hate that visor. Hate it. He needs to get rid of it. It doesn’t look good at all. The speed of the song changed. It was sort of awkward. I liked it okay good. His tone can be a bit boring, so he needs to be a little careful, I think. He has a great voice. That shirt works and I don’t know if I’d wear it, but it’s one of the better clothing displays tonight. There is a lot of bleh clothing stuff going on tonight.

Naima - 13 - Awesomtastic
Umbrella - Rihanna

That was just fun and entertaining. Love the lightning. She looked street. I guess. Funny enough, she’s the best dressed girl tonight. Great note to end on.

VFTW Hate Corner (Title works for now)

Wow, this year the Idols are a VFTW wet dream. It's so amazing, we could have cast this show. There were so many people we could've picked this week. Stefano was cheesy, Thia was awful, Karen couldn't sing, Jacob was a hot mess, and so much more. But it came down to Paul McDonald and Naima Adedapo with their hilarious performances. And you know what? I couldn't fucking decide so I flipped a coin while on the phone with Deb. They were both that hilarious. Paul won the coin toss. So vote for Paul, 1-866-436-5704. We support Paul with the caveat that we could clearly be swayed another way next week if someone else is even funnier because these people are all so VFTW worthy. So keep up the good work, everyone. Naima, keep up the FIRE! and Jacob keep the YEAH YEAH YEAHs, we're watching you and loving every minute of it. You guys are seriously the most entertaining top 13 ever. <3>

I don’t know which is better, the fact they mock people who actually try to do something with their life with their terrible writing or that they have terrible writing about people who try to be more than a stain on the plant. Maybe it’s both.

VFTW is a villain getting pissy at a hero for burping and not saying excuse me. Why is your commando underwear in a twist over people singing on a show? Jealous much? What show do I hate? Eh, I don’t have any show I hate. Yes I do. Big Brother. I hate that show. Worst humans go on that show. Worse than Real World people. I don’t watch that show (but once and hated every second, dumbest people ever on any game show…ever) and then blog about how horrible it is and this and that. I just don’t get the mentality of hating on something constantly.

The fact that they can’t stick with one person further shows they lack power and prestige as they wish they had. I know they think they made certain people win, but they are maybe a voting block of one hundred people, that’s not nearly enough. This idea of voting for the worst is as useful as people buying tickets to sell out terrible concerts.

Oh and what really makes VFTW a bully is picking on people’s physical looks. Teeth, really? So how many pictures of these bloggers from VFTW do they have up on their site? I’d like to see their physical perfection displayed for all to enjoy their awesome glory.

Wet dream? The fact they dream about American Idol proves their unhealthy obsession.

I don’t know who’ll be in the bottom, but I hope these two go and are not in the top ten for the tour:

Go away Ashthon or Karen.

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