American Idol 12 Guys

I've decided to do this, not because I love American Idol, but because I hate that much. :D And yes I mean hate. Hate. Hate like a little child hates peas and going to bed. Hate like you hated that child that picked his nose and touched everything. Hate like you hate that political person that annoys you. Hate is a strong word and that’s why it’s got the muscle to punch in the balls.

Maybe I should rate them.
Tonight I rate them as follows:

I’ll combine them for blinding greatness.

Clint -- 01 -- Eh, Bleh
“Superstition” by Stevie Wonder
Eh…not so good. Flat. Awesome stage. Love his shoes. Reminds me of Ronald McDonald. A lot. Not impressed. That song is so overdone and he overdid it. I like him, but not that song. Meh. He looked like an Asian Harry Potter.

Jovany -- 02 -- Bleh
“I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain
BORING. Flat and unentertaining. I’ll be not voting for you. Done.
He dressed nicely.

Jordan -- 03 -- DE-voted Bleh
“OMG” by Usher
Fun and boring at the same time. AWESOME badness. Eh, and he dressed like a bleh person. Yay. It’s not me--UH then why did you pick it?

I don’t know why Coca-cola needs to be represented by anyone. They are so well known it’s almost pointless, but they’re so comfortable to look at. Pepsi isn’t comfortable. If Coke is comfortable they’re a well worn leather couch and if Pepsi is uncomfortable they’re a razor pool with lemonade.

Tim -- 04 -- Bleh
“Streetcorner Symphony (Come On Over”) by Rob Thomas
Stop bouncing, not helping the sound. Eh, no. He’s a poor shadow of the real Rob Thomas.

Brett -- 05 -- Meh-eh
“Light My Fire” by the Doors
Big red headed that’s quirky in the most unique way….what? Sounds like he’s underwater. Maybe he’s drowning himself…in hair tosses. Har, har. Love the stage.

Everyone, so far, has been upstaged by the stage.

James -- 06 -- Good -- VOTED
“You Got Another Thing Comin’” by Judas Priest
Very rockin’, very entertaining. I love his monkey ears. He has great merchandise in those ears. I swear. I’d go as him this Halloween. Not really, I kid. Only slightly. His ears, though, are not as awesome as the Avatar Arrow. His screaming doesn’t bother me like Adam’s did. Huh…

Robbie -- 07 Okay -- VOTED
“Angel” by Sarah McLachlan
Slow and sort of controlled. It sounded weird. What is up with the sound? Not as controlled as I’d like it.

Randy is the New Simon.

Scotty -- 08 Awesome. -- VOTED
“Letters From Home” by John Michael Montgomery
The last note was iffy, but the rest was pretty darn good. Pretty darn good indeed. He is hicking it out. He reminds me a lot of a childhood friend.

Stefano -- 09 Good/awesome -- VOTED
“Just The Way You Are” by Bruno Mars
He stretched his voice a little bit, but it’s still sounded good, very good. He had great control of his voice and lost it a bit in the beginning and the end. But it sounded good. He changed it up a bit. A bit. Had to say it one more time. A bit.

Paul -- 10 Awesome -- VOTED
“Maggie Mae” by Rod Stewart
I like his voice in all it’s oddities. Reminds me a lot of Rod Stewart. So awesome sounding like Stewie said on “Family Guy” the first cut of construction paper awesome.

Jacob -- 11 Awesome Didn’t Get To
“House is Not a Home” by Dionne Warwick
He did a good job with a song I just do not like. Plus that tie is so freakin’ awesome. The handkerchief should just die.

Casey -- 12 Beyond Awesome. Didn’t get to…=(
“I Put a Spell On You” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
Wow…so awesome weird good. Very mesmerizingly good.

Hate on

And he's done it. Brett Loewenstern stood out among the pack of VFTW picks and became the one. So dial 1-866-436-5705 as much as you can, text the word VOTE to 5705, and vote at We would love for Brett's hair whipping to make it through, but even if he doesn't, we had a plethora of picks tonight. Casey was hilarious, Paul was ridiculous, Jacob is always a treat, Jordan was awful, Scotty made some eyebrows at us... we really can't lose. But let's try to get our ginger friend into the top 13. It really is like VFTW cast this season, so I think it's gonna be a fun run. Caricature coming shortly (banner's not working, we'll have it up as soon as we can).

I state don’t talk about who you don’t want to promote. I don’t care if my comments bring people more readers or don’t. Nevertheless, how can you not hate on such stupidness as above? Did you see their picture? I’ve seen what they can do on this website and that picture of Brett looks like a five-year-old used Photoshop…nah, a five-year-old can so do much better. I’m sure of it and so is the five-year-old.

They have ads for condoms up and down that page. Why? Because you can catch yourself a bad case of the clap if you read their website too much. Plus, it’s not as fun as having sex to get the clap.

I do this out of love for, because they can’t take what they give and so I will give them a lot more than they can handle. *wink* I was banned from their website for pissing them off. Who would have thought a website that masturbates on hating on American Idol could turn bratty and unable to handle their own medicine shot up in their cracked out arms.

Let me get back to their whacked out paragraph. Did you read that? They actually used the word “plethora” it’s like TMZ pretending they’re serous journalism. It’s as if serious journalism thinks they’re serious journalism. It’s like Keith Olbermann’s ego exploded and all that’s left is a trashy website talking about how important their idea of right and wrong is. It’s like lemon ice cream with a shot of espresso. Nah, that combo tastes so nasty it’s awesome and that can’t be anything like their use of plethora.

They post what the Top 12 Guys and Girls song list as if that’s amazing that someone’s spilling the beans to them. If they can tell me who made it through 24 hours before they say it on the show, that would be amazing. This leaked list isn’t amazing. It’s the internet world. Governments don’t have secrets anymore. No longer awesome. It’s like someone looking on the stage, seeing the set list for the band, and telling everyone in the crowd an hour before the show starts. Wow, you can read. I’m not amazed.

Back to the above paragraph…they are saying that all of the guys are worth their vote for the worst. That’s because if they name enough, anyone that makes it they can go YES we have someone to vote for. This is what scared people do, broad strokes so they can’t ever be wrong. You go dumb website with zero power, you go.

The different color names are the ones I think should make it through and hope they do. Until tomorrow when I mock again.

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