Survivor: Redemption Island - EP 2 - Don’t Shake Hands with the Enemy and Russell Met His Match

So far, my feeling is that Boston Rob’s Tribe is full of not so bright people and Russell’s Tribe is full of all the smart people and when the merge happens,–it’s going to be atomic, to say the least. Boston Rob’s going to have a well trained army (of sorts) and Russell is going to either be by himself or have already gone to Redemption Island, because those who are not young whorlets are on to his game. He has not learned a single thing, whereas Boston Rob learned to adapt his game in manipulation to even include the important Tribal Council–his answers are tailored much more than his tribemates realize.

On Redemption Island Smiley got bare minimum supplies. She says that she didn’t expect to be voted out. She thinks she has a great chance of returning. I think her mouth is braver than she is. She found flint and couldn’t strike it hard enough to make a spark. That’s not boding well for her.

Coming back from Tribal, Boston Rob says that it was the craziest he’s ever been too. Lady in Red says that tribal didn’t go the way she wanted it to. She is, however, happy she took a chance and didn’t play the idol. She should have taken a chance and told Agent Dumb nothing more than anything.

Agent Dumb pulls Boston Rob to the side and says that he will pledge his vote to whatever Boston Rob wants until he, Agent Dumb, is on Redemption Island. Boston Rob wants to vote out Agent Dumb because of his untrustworthy actions. Even though he made an interesting Tribal, it’s not something one would want around.

A crab runs around wild and Agent Dumb decides that he’ll keep his underwear on and chase it with a rock. I hate that underwear more than I hated anyone’s underwear all 22 seasons of Survivor. I hate that underwear as much as one can hate underwear. Fabio Clone mocks Agent Dumb’s hunting with a bit of an Australian accent.

To the wonderful camera, Agent Dumb cries over how awesome of a special agent he is and how much he loves this country. He is special…in the head. He’s so special he has his own short bus. And that would be okay if he got on it and never came back to this reality, again.

Russell does what Russell does best spew RS. His RS this week is full of distain for Farmer Bill. Farmer Bill doesn’t like Russell and isn’t afraid of him. This makes Russell (who is smaller by a whole 15 Oompa Loompas) so angry that there would be someone that would defy him that he has to complain about how better than anyone he is to Whore Waitress who gobbles it all up like a baby bird eating mommy bird’s throw up. Russell’s wife has to be stupid if she doesn’t find this at all disturbing. Russell reaches out to fondle another dumb young mind. Bleach Bimbo and him speak about the hidden immunity idol clue and how they need to procure it. He’ll go and look for it anyway. Unbeknownst to this moron Lady in Red no only found it; she found it without the clue. Russell is no longer the only Survivor to do that and he lost all his cool points for doing it since someone else did it faster.

The guys on his tribe are on to him and his unsubtle search for the HI. Farmer Bill picks up rocks and ends up finding the HI. He is ecstatic, and that’s after Russell belittled him. Russell can’t read people for nothing.

Fabio Clone plays his sweetness card and Barbie is all into Fabio Clone. Boston Rob takes notice and thinks that anyone pairing up like him and Amber did is not only hypocritically wrong, it won’t be had on his tribe. He wants to get rid of Barbie or Agent Dumb. He tells Dirty Brown and she thinks it’s a great idea, because a couple is a second powerhouse that they don’t need to compete with. I think that this is a mistake in Boston Rob’s plan that’ll bite him in the butt. Dirty Brown thinks it’s a great idea to align with Boston Rob’s idea as if a slave listens to a master. No need to think for one’s self.

Immunity/Reward (Fishing Gear)

Russell’s Tribe thinks that Boston Rob’s Tribe is dumb for voting out strong Smiley. We’ll see if she’s so strong on Redemption Island.

Get a key by jumping and breaking a tile, or as Thorlocks did–just grab the key without breaking the tile.

Russell’s Tribe is slow swimming and getting.

Boston Rob’s Tribe is quick and to the point.

Thorlocks, Boston Rob’s Tribe, is the first one to dive in and make it almost to the platform in a single dive.

Agent Dumb vs. Farmer Bill in braking tiles with a ball. Farmer Bill slams Agent Dumb. Agent Dumb gets better and catches up, but doesn’t win. Farmer Bill wins after finally breaking the last tile that didn’t want to break.

Fabio Clone goes over and shakes the winner’s hands. Boston Rob didn’t like that. I always thought that was a good idea during the individual challenges, not the tribe one. Showing your tribe that you have favor for the other isn’t really a great idea.

Back to the camps.

Russell carries the fishing gear back to the tribe just so he can slip out the clue to the HI he has not found yet. He’s so stupid that he not only needs the clue, but also pulls it out in a way that Farmer Bill could notice. You know, the one he thinks is subhuman. Farmer Bill states that this is his game, not Russell’s. There’s only room for one.

Farmer Bill and Captain Average find Russell to ask him if there was a clue with the fishing gear. Russell decides it’s best to be defensive and spew RS about how you’re either against me or you’re with me. He’s such a moron. Just say no. Don’t defend your actions like a two year old that got caught with his fingers in the fishing gear and pulled out a HI clue. He makes himself lose this game. Every dumb decision that ruins his chances of winning comes because he thinks it first.

Farmer Bill is the best person ever. He might be the first person who gets his real name used before the merge if he keeps this up. He has the ability to rile up Russell more so than anyone has in the previous two games. Love it.

Smiley got her luxury item, a journal, on Redemption Island. She says that she hopes there is no cohabitation, especially with Agent Dumb.

Agent dumb decides to give a useless speech about how he’s to blame over the loss. Boston Rob says that they win and lose as a team. That’s a smart thing. He believes, however, that it is Agent Dumb’s fault they lost. The new dislike is over Fabio Clone’s choice in shaking hands with the enemy.

Lady in Red says she’ll play the idol. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Boston Rob decides that he wants to get rid of Fabio Clone. He tells them all (Fabio Clone and Barbie) that they need to split their vote between Agent Dumb and Lady in Red. This is the first time that I can’t see how a Survivor could wiggle out of being voted off. Unless, I guess, Fabio Clone promises his relationship isn’t as powerful as Boston Rob thinks. I guess this is another thing that’ll scare future players of Survivor…don’t start paring off like that. Don’t spend too much time with anyone.

Fabio Clone says how impressed he is with Boston Rob as if Boston Rob were some sort of deity. Awkward. He seems like he’d actually come back from Redemption Island and stick with Boston Rob if he were still around.

Boston Rob speaks to Agent Dumb and tells him to act as if he’s going home all throughout Tribal and then before the vote Boston Rob will touch the person that he needs to vote for. It’s a test to see if he’ll spill the beans during Tribal.

Tribal

Probst asks Lady in Red why she didn’t play the HI before. She had a feeling that she wasn’t going to get enough votes to go home.

Agent Dumb blabs and no one is listening, really, to his animal answer. He’s so full of trash thinking that I wonder if it permeates stank through his skin other than just his natural Survivor Musk.

Boston Rob shows how his suave by repeating what he already said to the entire tribe with tribes sharing wins and losses. That’s brilliant manipulation. He’s much better than Russell at this.

Agent Dumb (because stupid is as he does) says he’s ready for Redemption Island and to face off against Smiley his nemesis for revenge. What? Revenge for you being a dumb person no one can trust? That’s your own darn fault you moron.

Boston Rob touches Lady in Red’s shoulder to signal Agent Dumb whom to vote for. He does
vote for her.

Lady in Red plays the idol, just as Boston Rob wanted her to since the first episode.

Fabio Clone is voted out. He is genuinely surprised and a good sport. Barbie looks like she might turn into a darker version of herself. Voting out the strong players is weird. I don’t know if that’s part of his entire idea or he’s counted how many people he can vote off but still have a high enough number to beat Russell in the merge.

Fabio Clone sees Smiley and her nightmare is true, they do end up having to live together before they battle. Interesting dynamic. Oh and she still doesn’t fire.

The Caustic Survivor Fan has spoken.

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