JJ’s Top Ten Films of 2010 and other stuff…

All Top Ten Lists (or whatever top lists) are subject to difference of opinion. I know that because I don’t agree with 99% of what’s on other people’s lists. I looked them over because I needed movies that are overrated. I create them because my list is usually different from most and I like to put my opinion out there.

How can you tell a valid 2010 Best of Movie List from an invalid 2010 Best of Movie List? If The Social Network, Inception and Toy Story 3 are not on their list, then that list is invalid. Maybe…just maybe (I stretch my acceptance here) there’s an exception and Toy Story 3 is not on there, but How to Train Your Dragon or Scott Pilgrim vs. The World are the only replacements allowed--otherwise no exception.

Moreover, if a list has 50% or more movies that were never open wide--they’re a pretentious person. It’s one thing to list a few or mention them as great, but to list them as your top ten when the majority has not seen them is high and mighty. If it’s not disrupted correctly, that’s the disruptor’s fault, not the moviegoer’s fault. Top Ten Lists should be accessible to those that read it and matter. You know average people, not ones that get invitations to see premiers and are paid to like certain films.

I decided to see how many reviews I wrote in previous years because it’s a direct correlation to how many films I saw.

2010 I saw 98 movies.
2009 I saw 109 movies.
2008 I saw 118 movies.

Looks like my prediction at the beginning of summer was correct, there were not many great films as well as there weren’t many films to begin with. Storytelling is as old as humans themselves are. Repeatedly stories are told about all kinds of things and never do they get boring because the storyteller excites the listeners with abilities no one can match, hence why they’re the storyteller.

We have come to the point in history where the storytellers are paid millions upon millions to tell us stories and keep us interested. Many forms are at their disposal and one of those is moviemaking. How can people who are part of the tradition of storytelling be monotonous? They shouldn’t be. They should do better and perform better. They have no excuse.


The top ten is a mix of JJ Ratings A+ to A-. They are not in order of rating. They are in order of how I wanted to put them. It’s how I work my list…how I like.

Iron Man 2 had more lip, banter and wit than the first. The action scenes were short and sweet, powerful and satisfying, and every bit technologically awing as the first. Tony Stark doesn’t come from a cookie sheet of heroes. He’s his own breed and stands alone with who he is, what he can do and how effective his narcissistic attitude is on his charming display of heroic greatness. This is no Dark Knight, it’s far better than a film that took itself too seriously with grim and grit. Iron Man 2 is witty, facetious, brilliant and epigrammatic in its own Iron Stark way.

Harry Potter is nostalgic for some, but make no mistake this film is well done. It might drag for some (like during the camping), but for me it was paced so well that I think many films would learn a thing or two from mimicking how to handle pacing.

8. Tangled -
Tangled is at best one of the top ten films of the year, at worst it’ll be under appreciated for its brilliance. Tangled made me laugh, laugh, think, laugh and almost…almost tear up.

Where to start with the acting? I’ll begin with one of my favorite actors, Colin Firth. He is a remarkable man in his craft. I wanted to see this movie because of him. I wanted to be surprised again as I was with A Single Man. From the moment he stared out at the audience making weird noises and that intimidating microphone blocking his escape to the end where he is getting praise…Firth held my attention. That is acting. His captures a single man (pun intended) in all of his glory and disrepute, giving the audience a 3D view of a man without the help of any optical illusions. I’ve seen almost one hundred movies this year (and that’s about 15 less than last year---told you it was a sucky year) and there’s not an actor that took my amazement like Firth did. I haven’t been this awed since Doubt.

It connected with me on that male mind level. I understood the mentality behind the story and enjoyed it more because of that. Though I find the title to be too much and not really about the film as a whole (like an exasperated effort to just name it), I think that it’s a very solid film that made me feel like a little boy running around with a wooden sword killing imaginary whatevers who were attacking from every direction. How to Train Your Dragon has got the goods, I’m not afraid to say it.

Easy A is easily one of the best films of the year and yes it stands head and shoulders times a billion over The Town. Don’t make me turn the stubborn on. So much complaining about how there is nothing that takes something old and puts a different spin on it. Easy A takes something old, spins it and makes it shine. The Town takes something old, makes it worse and it sells…why? So if you like to be told what movie to see, pay to see Easy A and sneak a peak at boring, but I’ve warned you twice now. How could you say no to a witty teenager foray? I couldn’t.

The end of Toy Story 3 takes all of Toy Story history and makes the caring moviegoer, who supported the film from the onset in 1995 until now, break down and cry for the plight of toys. How incredibly gifted a storyteller are these people? This is why the bar will remain unbreached because they not only set it high, they make it insurmountable. The tears for the toys are more for what we all miss. It’s the carefree feeling, the love for the simple and the power of imagination that is lost when we cross a certain threshold and nowadays the age gets younger and younger. When people watch Toy Story 3, not only are they a little shocked by the dark nature it takes on, they cry because of the goodbyes.

There is layer after layer after layer in Inception. If I watched it again I bet I could pick up on more layers I missed the first time. Because the story is rich with interesting concepts and ideas and the acting is engrossing Inception is one of the best movies of the year. Nominations shouldn’t elude this film like they did The Dark Knight, especially Best Movie Oscar Nod.

Hanz Zimmer’s score shouts that it’s the best and combined with Nolan’s directing only makes Inception that much better. Oh and that foghorn like noise he gots going on at the end of some of the sections (as well as the trailer) is thrilling. Total eargasm.

True Grit’s humor is dry and quick. If you don’t pay attention to the words, you miss a lot. It came to life because of Jeff Bridges, Haliee Steinfeld and Matt Damon. Bridges is just a force. He scratches his gut, burps and he does more in that then some actors do with an entire hour and a half in ballet shoes. I’m thinking about the movie again and laughing. It is one of the better films this year and I’ve yet to see it on anyone’s list. The list that Black Duck movie and I don’t get it.

2. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World - Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is amazing, astonishing, creative, witty, thrilling, enchanting, fantastical, freakin’ hot and amazing…did I state that already? It’s everything I thought it would be. It’s visually spectacular. It’s written so well that it’s now become harder to impress me. I love everything about it. It feels like seeing someone that’s so hot and sexy that you can’t find a flaw. You just want to enjoy that moment of just looking and hope it never, ever, ever goes away. This feeling hasn’t been around for a while. Inception gave me a taste of what it was I was hoping for, but Scott Pilgrim vs. The World gave me everything including the kitchen sink. The randomness melted my heart into piles of gushy, gooshy, mushy mush. It spoke to my mind. It stole my language and spoke to me in ways many movies fail to do. Yes, it’s a failure to not speak on my level. So good that I saw it at midnight and then went and saw it again on Friday. There was much laughing that hid some of the next funny lines. After seeing it twice, I can honestly say it’s one of the best, best, best movies I’ve ever seen.

1. The Social Network - With a script that has biting wit that surely makes vampires jealous, Aaron Sorkin does not disappoint. I couldn’t stop listening to the words that just shot out from the screen at amazing speed. I wanted it to continue longer than two hours. There were some things I’d laugh at that others in the theater just didn’t get or they weren't fast enough to catch. Love, love, love this movie.

The sharp wit cut through the boring and carried 100% talking film without a single moment of yawning. I love dark humor and sharp wit that slices the weak-minded people in two. I swear those that don’t like it are the dull and the slow.


It was hard picking the worst, not because there weren’t terrible movies, but because so many movies were mediocre that there were far too many to pick from. The JJ Ratings for these range from B- to D-. Surprisingly no F’s. I guess I give some credit to how the film looks or a clever scene. I’m nice like that.
What happens in Valentine’s Day is cliché after cliché after cliché, but it’s clichés that are presented by actors and actresses that people like and there-in-lies the magic, there-in-lies the draw, and there-in-lies the All-Star Gimmick.

9. Splice -
Splice as a story was bad. The interesting concept that it built upon didn’t withstand the way it ended up on screen. The process hacked it to crap and what was left is a film that should have been released in January or February…the Crapauary months.

Jonah Hill is a funny guy. I’ve seen him in interviews and he’s a riot with his dry sense of humor. Acting wise he’s become trite and totally boring. The hapless character he continues to play can no longer work well enough to entertain.

Going the Distance strived to make things very normal. But with the two friends that Garrett has, it’s hard to think of it as something anyone could really relate to, let alone believe. There are moments when they happen upon a conversation that’s actually funny or thought provoking (baby pigeons, talking while on the toilet), but the boring and vulgar conversations win out. The over use of the F-word for no good reason other than because they can and the terrible connection that Barrymore and Long had.
The original story in the 1981 version was so much better and I’m going to explain why over and over again. Clash of the Titians the remake that just never should have happened.

I have seen the original. Claymation sucks. I don’t think anyone can convince me otherwise. It’s pretentious and totally bleh. And to make matters worse it makes something that’s supposed to be serious look totally joke worthy. But the Original Clash is better because the story was better. All the remake had to do was improve on the monsters with CGI makeover, but they decided it was best to just redo the whole movie in their own boring image.
I don’t know and I don’t care. Robin Hood.

Exciting it couldn’t be. What does a documentary about boring history and Robin Hood have in common? They are both are boring as a white church on Super Bowl Sunday. If Cate Blanchett was not in this film I think it would have been one of the worst blockbuster awesome summer movies I’ve ever seen and this INCLUDES Transformers II.

4. Skyline -
If Cloverfield and Independence Day had sex, regretted their drunken escapade, found out that one of them was pregnant and then aborted the baby…that would be Skyline.

3. Leap Year -
The script is just terrible. The entire premise drowns in Hollywood backwash. Not a single moment could be anything that would be considered unique or interesting. Predictability isn’t a problem because if it were then A Walk to Remember would have been clichéd forgotten path.

I fell asleep midway through and when I woke up I was disappointed that there was still more leftover for me not to enjoy.
I love you Edward.
I love you Bella.
Shut up, she loves me. I smell it with my doggy sense.
Please she can’t love a dog, that’s bestially.
And what is loving a vampire? Necrophilia?
Take that back, I’m polite and overly nice.
Hell no, I’m more male than you and all your dead sparkly parts.
Boys, boys, boys please keep fighting over me. It makes me feel wanted, even if I don’t smile more.
See, she loves me!
No, she loves me!
It continues for 2+ hours just like that, but with a bit of fighting that bores and a flood saccharine lines that gives everyone ear cavities.
-Twilight: Eclipse

1. Piranha 3D - Oh no the piranhas are coming to eat us. Let’s show boobs. Boobs are pretty. Boobs are nice, but as I’ve said before---movies are for stories and fun, not for I don’t know what this is. It is a strict reason as to why I do not see horror films. I hate screaming. I hate unnecessary (which is 99% of the time) nudity. I can’t stand stupid people…and horror films have a need, just like alien sightings, to harp on the stupid.


Movies that critics and audiences like. It makes no sense what-so-ever to me. Yes, that matters. It’s like Made for DVD films that got enough oomph to get people pumped up enough to spend an exuberant amount of money to see it only to sit through a film that’s told in an in fecund manner that only those that lack imagination see them as magnificent.

Kick-Ass -
First off Kick-Ass reminds me of a poor man’s Kill Bill (both) and reminds me of a lowbrow (as if that’s remotely possible) Superbad. I really like those three movies, but to see them mashed-up under an assumed name didn’t do it for me.

2. Predictable. From the moment Nina explains to a boy, that was not interested in her because she’s boring, what “Swan Lake” is about, I knew that the parallels were foreshadowing a bland, non-story story.

Comments were made about how it’s better than Gone, Baby Gone and I don’t see it. Gone, Baby Gone was raw emotionally and visually as well as totally jarring. Not a single character was pure enough to totally stand behind, but they were all understood. The Town doesn’t even come within radius of that greatness.

Acting-wise, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few Oscar nods in this film. Jeremy Renner would be one.

Storywise The Fighter was bland and overdone by other “true” stories. It doesn’t stand out as awesome. If it’s nominated for Best Picture, it’ll be forgotten as a nominee. It’s just not powerful enough. Neither is Black Swan…in case you’re wondering.

I’m just so sick of Boston. I can’t think of anything else to say other than The Fighter is a decent movie. It’ll inspire someone, but it didn’t inspire me. I think the climax wasn’t as climactic as I would have liked it. If I felt a bit teary eyed, it might have washed away my annoyance with this lovey-dovey Boston crap. However, nothing got stuck in my eye.

The Kids Are Alright - I did not see this film but I’m sick of hearing about it and the only awesome thing they can mention is that they’re lesbians. That’s like saying Iron Man is awesome because he’s a superhero. Lame. I might see it, but I get turned off when people say how great it is and then mention what sexuality they are. If it’s about marriage shouldn’t the family be more important a thing to mention than their sexuality? Just sayin'.


Theses are films that…well…surprised me. They held more heart, power and meaning more than their trailer showed.

The “old” create an action film that’s one of the best of the entire year, totally blowing out of the water the “young” and their unfragile state. Who knew Helen Miren could be so hot?

Stone was the corner of the entire film. She held it up from beginning to end without a single problem. Her great timing, great smile, pretty face, witty demeanor, sarcastic tone, facial expressions wrapped all together with her great gestures made her perfect for this role. No other actress could have taken what she did and make it as fantastically great. Totally and utterly solid. *Whisper* and why not nominate her for an Oscar. Little ones get nominated for far smaller roles joke intended. /whisper.

Several stories have all trounced upon this same predicament. There is ample room to be redundant and boring. However, that is not what happens. The film is nicely paced, amusing, fun, and above all enjoyable. There’s a lot of wit and levity that goes hand in hand with the positive vibes.

Danny Boyle and James Franco created a film that could have been every bit as dry as the desert it was filmed in, but they didn’t allow it to fail. Not even a single second of boring trounced its way across the screen. The visual aspects of this film made a boring story vibrant with visuals that helped heighten the senses of the moviegoer.

How is it when someone gets hurt in 3D? Interesting. But that’s not the creative way they use the 3D. You don’t realize where the 3D is going to pop out at you until it already has and you can’t take back what your eyes just saw…kind of thing. Yes, very interesting.

The Book of Eli was different in that it showcased faith in a unique way that I had not really seen in many films that are not saturated with religious overtones or, for that matter, mocking it. It was unique story told in an interesting manner with a good ending. It actually brought back some faith in Hollywood that I tend to lose after seeing a bunch of meh kind of films. It had me believe that great films may come few and far between, but they do come every once in a while. And though I may have lost faith in that occurring the last few weeks, The Book of Eli made me believe again.

And that is that.

This past weekend had zero films released worth seeing. I had a weekend free. Rare, but nice. Next weekend I’ll be back to writing reviews. Trite as it might be to some, I love doing it.


1 comment:

T.Howard said...

Ok I must admit i have not seen all the movies you rated. The ones I have seen you nailed spot on. The book of Eli was a great movie. Twilight is for little girls in my opinion can't stand that type of movie. True Grit I have not seen yet but I will as soon as it comes to NetFlix.

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