Survivor E14 - The Trinity of Despots

Coming back from the Tribal that seemed to confuse Surfer, Sash says that he’s looking out for Surfer. Liar. He turns around and tells the camera that Surfer’s next if he doesn’t win immunity.

They tell Surfer that Benry was gunning for him. Surfer says that he is playing into their hands as the dumb one. They’ll be stumped when he shows off his brains. Boy were they ever…

They receive Treemail on a Sprint EVO. They are family messages.

Chase sees his mother and brother. He’s sad. I don’t care.
Shash’s mother speaks. Sash tears up. I don’t care.
Jane’s daughter speaks and Jane smiles and tears. I don’t care.
Dan’s sons speak and talk about how this was the longest time they’ve gone without him yelling. They have a great sense of humor like him. I do care. Though he shouldn’t be there…he’s a good guy.
Holly’s family and her husband speak. I don’t care.
Surfer’s mother speaks and she says what he needs to hear. He cries. I care.

Mistake one billion and one…Chase promises that he’ll take Surfer and Sash on the reward. Surfer says he’ll do the same. Do not promise what you cannot provide or know you won’t provide should the event come to pass…especially with reward.

The winners of reward will enjoy meal on a boat with FAMILY.

Chase’s mom comes out. They hug. Who cares? Not me. How can you raise someone like him? Ick.
Surfer’s mom comes out. She says that Fabio is a good nickname. No, it’s not.
Sash’s mom comes out and he says some hollow words that make me roll my eyes.
Dan’s son, Matthew, comes out. Dan cries and Matthew kisses him all over his face.
Jane’s daughter comes out and there’s screaming and hugging. Jane says that her daughter is watching the farm. I care a little bit.
Holly’s husband walks out and they hug. He’s the only significant other. They missed their 25th wedding anniversary. I don’t give a flying immunity idol.

Survivors go out, collect bags from the water, and bring them back to their loved ones who will then put a phrase together.

Long story short, Chase wins. Chase’s infinity mistake…he picks Sash first and then, with his amazing prattling, he rattles off some sorries and picks Holly. Whom did he promise that he would pick? Surfer. Surfer speaks up on how he doesn’t see his mom a lot and Chase knew that. What did Chase say? Sorry. He abuses that word more than he probably abuses himself. He should really stop speaking, just as he’s stopped thinking. Actually, he has never thought a single moment in this game. He’s been castrated from the moment he saw Brenda. He’s now spineless.

Matthew, Dan’s son, says that he’s a prick. YES HE IS. Never promise a reward to ANYONE. Why? Because it’s the stupidest lie you could make in Survivor. It doesn’t get you anywhere. What it does get you is a big fat NO from a juror and that’s not worth it. To Chase, however, it is. Moron.

I guess I should just be happy that he’s so stupid he ruins his chances of winning a million dollars.

Back at camp Surfer says that Chase promised to take him. Jane’s not happy because Chase showed that it’s the three of them in alliance without her. She doesn’t get to see her daughter because she’s going to go to college. This was her last summer with her. This is her own fault. Survivor or spending time with your daughter…probably her daughter told her to go.

Chase, Holly and Sash eat food, talk about how awesome they are with their hidden immunity idols and how they’ll be in the final three. Cocky douchebags. The Trinity of Despots.

Chase’s mom says that they are good people. She’s as clueless as her son. Their emotional time makes me GAG. Don’t care what Holly feels. Don’t care what Chase feels.

Don’t care.

The three losers, The Trinity of Despots, return from reward and Surfer asks Chase if it was great. Chase, the idiot, answers. Never ever speak about a reward being great no matter if it was or not. The best thing to do is NOT speak about it. It pisses off the losers and it’s totally not worth it. Surfer tells him that it was a rhetorical question. Haha. I hate Chase. He’s a condescending prick.

Immunity Challenge. They are blindfolded and have to feel what’s on a shield, take pieces back to the empty shield and put it together correctly without using the wrong pieces.

Long story short….SURFER WINS! Proving he’s far smarter than they gave him credit for.

Back at came he gets hollow congrats from the Trinity of Despots Chase, Holly and sucky, crapyhead Sash.

Chase tries to offer up Dan to Surfer. Surfer states that Jane needs to go. Chase is hesitant over Jane. He goes off with Sash and they discuss who they should vote off and land on Jane. Holly comes over and agrees.


Jane walks over and asks if they are going to vote off Dan. Silence. She picks up on it being her. Chase spinelessly shares his stupid view. This, of course, pisses off Jane and she flicks them off. Jane asks if they have been planning this the whole time. Their silence is deafening. This is Jane’s fault. She should have seen this coming. They’re pricks. Sash tries to comfort her, she tells him off. She’s mad because she has not stabbed anyone in the back. That is true.

Jane decides that since she created the fire, she’ll put it out. Therefore, she does with two buckets of water. Just like the fish that Sandra tossed, but this was in front of everyone. Greatness.

At tribal council, Jane calls out the backstabbers. She says that Holly steals things like Dan’s shoes. She says that they were to get rid of Surfer and Dan. Jeff jumps all over this and asks the Trinity of Despots who is going out next time? Chase, the moron, decides to answer and say that it’s either Dan or Surfer. They agree.

Jane says that they should vote out Holly. That’s not what happens. Jane is voted out. She votes for Sash. This is weird. Can’t wait for this Sunday. It’s going to be a rockin’ final episode if Surfer makes it to the end.

Jane calls the Trinity of Despots names and such.

As I see it (below) this is how the Jury vote could go. Of course, it’s based on who is in the final three. Dan can’t win. He didn’t do much to get where he is. He road major coattails and though I’ve said before riding them is a way to make it, he more than road them, he wrapped himself in them and then sat in a blind spot that all the Survivors had and was forgotten.

Chase cannot win no matter who he is against. He ruined too many people and did so in a crass manner. Lying on things that just were not necessary to lie about. In addition, he burned many bridges in the process.

Holly could beat Dan and Chase, but because her lack in playing and making difficult decisions she cannot beat Surfer or Sash. Sash could barely beat Holly and I think he should win should he make it to the end…that is unless Surfer makes it. And why should he win? Because Surfer has played them all into thinking he’s a moron. He proved he’s far smarter than all of them via that last immunity challenge. He just has to have more endurance than the other four and he does. He was the last man standing at the endurance challenge earlier. Jane could beat him, but they voted her out. In addition, Surfer never really had a solid alliance like everyone else. He lasted, technically, by his own volition.

Alina - No Chase. No Dan. No Holly. Yes Surfer. Yes Sash
Marty - No Chase. No Dan. No Holly. Yes Surfer. Yes Sash.
Brenda - No Chase. No Dan. Yes Holly. Yes Surfer. No Sash.
Quitter N - Yes Chase. No Dan. Yes Holly. Yes Surfer. No Sash.
Quitter K - Yes Chase. No Dan. Yes Holly. Yes Surfer. Yes Sash.
Benry - No Chase. No Dan. No Holly. Yes Surfer. Yes Sash.
Jane - No Chase. No Dan. No Holly. Yes Surfer. No Sash.

The Caustic Survivor Fan has spoken…

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