Survivor E8 - Just Say You Hate Them

If I had a table where I slammed my head against it for each stupid thing that happened on Survivor this season, I would either be dead from self inflicted blunt forced trauma or the table would be broken in half, leaving me with a concussion football players wouldn’t envy. It’s not just a specific person that’s causing me to want to beat my head in it’s all of them. Someone has to do something that is against the norm that has been set up by the retarded majority to win this game. The idea that two people or anyone one person runs the game ever is like being led by Peter Piper and his magical flute that totally tricks the dumb into following.

The tribes merge and Marty came up with a name something like Leiberat or whatever. Some merge names are boring and stupid and some are just plane terrible. This one can be in both categories for all I care.

I’m going to go one by one because they’re all stupid, but stupid in their own special way. First, I’ll start with Marty. Marty comments and states that there are a lot of people that don’t belong there. What he fails to state is that he doesn’t deserve to be there. Making the poor decision of getting rid of the hidden immunity idol is just ridiculous. Not forming relationships or connections to people in order to get rid of the real problem and just sitting around waiting to be told who is going home is further proof as to why he doesn’t deserve to be there. He’s no Russell and he’s certainly not the better man than Russell…Rob. He’s so smart, but he’s not using that smart to do anything. He sat at tribal council and called out Jane. What he said about her was so true. He nailed her to the hick farm cross that she didn’t want to be nailed to. She can whine and victimize her self until her nose grows so long that Pinocchio is jealous, but it won’t change the fact that Marty was right. The problem is that he’s not right where it counts. What he said about Jane might come back and bite her, just like the idea that Sash is holding on to the immunity idol for himself will bite him and ruin his final three fantasy. Marty is making half thought out moves that work, but not as well as they could if he really pushed using his full potential. His buddy Dan doesn’t deserve to be there at all. He can’t pull his own weight and those that were voted off instead of him deserved to be there. Dan is dead weight and that’s that, but Marty keeps him because he’s a zombie vote.

Benry is someone that cannot see how stupid Chase is or how useless Brenda is or that NaOnka is a liar who can’t do much else but cause problems that are unnecessary. At Tribal Council Benry made a stupid comment. He called Alina a dirty squirrel. The truth is Benry is a dirt squirrel, because no one can tell the difference between him and a boring person. There’s no clear distinction. He votes with the popular crowd without thinking on his own. As Marty would state, he doesn’t deserve to be there. Until he thinks for himself, he’s no better than a dirty squirrel with no tail and no teeth. Hick Squirrel. He’ll be joined by Hick-a-berry Jane shortly.

Brenda is an idiot because she decided to state that she believed NaOnka as real. The woman that has a random letter in the middle of her name capitalized is real. Sure. That’s so normal. What happens to children with weird names? They end up like NaOnka…crazy. Name your children Bob or Jane and they’ll be sane...oh wait, Jane’s no better. Nevermind. After NaOnka steals crap, Brenda defends her and attacks Alina. What? NaOnka takes all this stuff and Brenda doesn’t even say one negative thing about that. She is the biggest idiot out of a group of idiots. She’s a terrible person who cannot admit to hating people…at all. She’s just gross. If Shallow Hal were a real concept, her real look would resemble a burnt pork chop. Yes, it would. Don’t argue with me. She also stated that Marty has the wrong perception of people, and she’s the one that finds NaOnka trustworthy…not to mention Sash who claimed he’d keep the idol to save himself from her. She’s a moron. She has yet climb out of that primordial soup to prove she has some sort of brain that allows her to do more than blink.

NaOnka, or as they call her on the show Neigh, thought it wise to steal food. She told everyone she didn’t. How did she do it? In a way that would prove Shakespeare’s “Lady doth protest too much” as accurate. She shouted she didn’t do it. When Chase and Alina told her to tell the group that she did this, she followed through. Her reason for stealing the stuff that she stole was that they hurt her feelings. A strong woman who goes by Neigh whined about not being appreciated. She wanted to be appreciated for her tortilla making skills. She had good reason to be upset because she didn’t get one big enough, but then again what idiot makes food for the hungry and not set aside their own? Neigh. She also went off on a tirade and said that she can play dirty. Oops, Baby hypocrite. You don’t have to play dirty. You are dirty. When she gave her stupid, “I want to help the tribe not eat so much” excuse Marty called her out as a liar as did Surfer. Surfer demanded to know why and she didn’t really answer that as well as she should have. What she did that was nice was state that it was HER not Alina. Mainly she did that because she wanted Alina’s vote. However, Neigh is so stupid that she failed to realize that jury members can talk to one another. That won’t hold up for very long. Alina will find out that she voted for her and wanted her out.

Alina is her own idiot. She picked the wrong person to want to vote out. She should not have teamed up with Jane and vote Marty. She should have held on to that thing during immunity challenge to win immunity, but she was too weak to do that. Her threat level was so amazingly high that she lost to Jane. Wow. Alina just didn’t think ahead and got voted out. She had no one to blame but herself.

Chase is just a follower. He’s a little puppy that can’t think for himself and needs Brenda to coddle him. It’s pathetic. Then he connects with Jane and it’s supposed to be some sort of cute friendship. Please. It’s lame. They both don’t think. They can’t win if they are allowing others to think for them instead of doing it for themselves. Chase is the worst.

Kelly Purple, as they call her, has done nothing remarkable but baa.

Surfer (as I like to call him) is the only smart one. He wanted to vote out NaOnka because she screwed with the camp’s stuff. He really wants her out because she stole his socks. He’s also the only one that actually thinks about what’s going on more than others do. Alina got mad at him and tried to guilt him into voting Marty, but that didn’t work. He’s the lighthouse of hope in all this sea of stupid. In addition, he won immunity. Woohoo.

Holly gets some smart points for being brave enough to point out that Neigh stole stuff. She stuck by it even when Neigh decided to go on yelling about it. However, she loses almost all cool points because she’s aligned herself with the dumbest group of no ones, ever.

Sash dropped out of the challenge early. It looked like he just dropped it on purpose. They had to hold onto a bar thing by pulling on two ends of a contraption. If they didn’t hold it tight enough the bar would slip through and break the tile below them. Sash is such a weakling. Claiming to care about his word, but trying to figure out how to not follow through. Just don’t follow through. So what? You took the idol. You have it. You’re a selfish person…deal with it. Grow some balls or something that would give you a spine that isn’t as weak willed as you are. I wonder if you can think without Brenda’s help. You’re worse than Chase. When Sash talks you’re likely to get an air born disease. When a girl states all the girls should get together and Sash, you know Sash isn’t worth vying for.

All Jane does this entire episode is whine about how she’s a victim of Marty and how she wants him out because revenge is a hick thing that other hicks can relate with and if she had a shovel and a bit of spit she’d bury Marty alive. Okay, maybe not that last bit, but she sure the hell is on a hate streak. She’s nothing but a victim in her own world of pain she perpetuates. Whiner. She gets along with the young people because she’s just as entitled as they are. What kind of men has she been around that she thinks she has to prove how awesome strong she is? If her ego were a helium balloon, she’d skyrocket. She connected with Chase over dead loved ones. Cute, but that naivety between the two could fill oceans. If they don’t smarten up, they’re going to be voted out for sure. Jane won immunity, decided to show off that she could go further, and then egotistically decided to not break her own tile. I hate people who feel they have to prove their greatness. Why? Because that means they don’t believe it themselves. Moreover, it’s annoying. She needs to stop crying a river over Marty, build a bridge and get over it.

If I missed anyone, they’re too boring to talk about.

I didn’t care who went. They are all idiots, none of them deserves to be there, and the only one that barely deserves to be there is Surfer because he doesn’t think like them, but he votes like them…therefore he’s still lumped as an idiot. Alina was voted out and the first member of the jury.

Everyone harbors dumbness in their small, stupid, pea brains. They can’t make a bold move. They’re tirelessly boring and lame and they act as if they’re getting rid of a threat. Stop lying. Just tell the truth. You are voting out whom you HATE. You are not voting out a threat, because if you’re voting out a threat then half your alliance would be gone. You’re simply playing a high school game that people swear stays in high school. Oops.

*sigh*

The caustic Survivor Fan has spoken. Until next time…

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