“The Town” Boringly Boston

Genres: Drama, Romance, Crime/Gangster and Adaptation
Running Time: 2 hrs.
Release Date: September 17th, 2010 (wide)
MPAA Rating: R for strong violence, pervasive language, some sexuality and drug use.
Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Director: Ben Affleck

JJ Rating: C-

See it again: No. NO. NO!
Own it: Ha, ha, no.
Recommend it to: Those that like rehashed ideas about Boston and how terrible it is.

Let’s just say every movie about Boston is the same--stupid, hateful, hypocritical people walk around feeling entitled to do whatever the hell they want. What makes The Town any different? I don’t know. Maybe that Ben Affleck is the director. That’s about it. The Town.

Apparently it was going to be called Prince of Thieves. Uhm…The Town is a pretty crappy and trite name, but Prince of Thieves would have been worse. Small kudos to the person that picked The Town. They’re still boring for the title, but not as boring if they picked Prince of Thieves. Good, god…what crack are these people (and critics) on? The same crack the Emmys were on giving the award to “Modern Family” instead of “Glee”. Let’s continue to reward mediocrity. The kind of stuff that we’ve seen before…only rehashed. But in The Town’s case it’s repackaged under the SAME city. Where do these writers come up with crap on Boston? Is it real? Then why the hell do people live there? Are they stupid? I guess that could be said for Chicago as well.

Comments were made about how it’s better than Gone, Baby Gone and I don’t see it. Gone, Baby Gone was raw emotionally and visually as well as totally jarring. Not a single character was pure enough to totally stand behind, but they were all understood. The Town doesn’t even come within radius of that greatness.

Acting-wise, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few Oscar nods in this film. Jeremy Renner would be one. He was so despicable and cruddy and ridiculously hypocritical that I wanted him to just be brutally destroyed before the movie was over. That’s how great an actor he is. I hated him so much the line about flames on the side of my head from Clue danced around my mind. I don’t even get how anyone could care for an idiot like that character. Total waste of human space, that’s for sure. Far more useless than anyone on this season’s “Survivor”. That’s saying a lot. Affleck did a great job making a robber almost likeable. I hated his character no matter how much charm and woe is me he laid on. It didn’t work. I didn’t feel an ounce of sorry for him outside of his mother. Blake Lively did a wonderful job. I was totally shocked by how well she handled her character that was out of it most of the film. For some reason she’s the only character I cared about. I can’t seem to care about a woman that goes out with a guy and doesn’t Google him or at least understand where he came from. You met him at a freakin’ washateria…how is that good enough now days?

Directing wise, Affleck was great. I can see him nominated for a directing Oscar. The Town, though, I can’t see how it should be. But then again I didn’t see how No Country for Old Men should have been nominated. I’m not old, wrinkly and boring. I could be very, very wrong about this movie being nominated.

Two hours with characters that are mostly vile and unlikable was not fun. I would have rather played on my Evo than sit there and be forced to like them. This idea that they are forced into a life that they apparently picked was not fun, not entertaining and not worth a single cent.

Some critic (based on a recent trailer for The Town) said it was the BEST film of the year. BEST? This “critic” must not have seen Scott Pilgrim vs. the World or Inception or even Iron Man 2, because this is nowhere near the “best”. Ick. I will pan this movie until now and Oscar season if I so choose because it’s my opinion. So every time someone says it’s great my eyes will roll like tires stuck in the mud and hopefully fling that mud in their face. The more it’s loved, the more I’ll hate it. That’s how I roll in my town. You’re welcome.

I write like: Cory Doctorow

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