Survivor-- Day: 4-6 - Ball-Less is an IDIOT

So old lady loon, who was in an alliance with full of Wind Wendy, decides she has to make good with the tribe. She decides to be sane and get along with them, but believes she should display this sane in a crazed way. I know she’s so smart. Who would ever think you as crazy if you pretend to be sane but do it in a crazy way? EVERYONE. Then she takes the Mob Boss’s shoes because he mocked her sane-crazy acting, puts sand in them and drops them into the ocean. Feels guilty and tells everyone about it. Yeah…the brain cells continue to die at a rapid pace. How much do those shoes cost? I know that everyone out there would bring their best shoes to play Survivor. But would any of you bring $1600 shoes? Because Mob Boss did. And the brain cells continue to die quick and painful deaths.

The hidden immunity idol is found first on the Older Tribe. That is great for those that found it. Also another good thing was that Coach gave Sane-Crazy a pep-talk to empower her to wrangle her bucking bull of C.S…crazy Sh…yeah. They also decided to use the MoP to get a ball up on the young tribe and they did win immunity and fishing gear. End of the old people this episode. Nothing more from them is of any interest.

But the young people are full of idiots (and dying brain cells) that I can’t stand. Next week they’ll lose again because they thought it wise to remove one of their best players so early in the game. Why would they get rid of a strong guy who had a girly name….Shannon? Why anyone wouldn’t just say, “Shut up with your anti-everything attitude, you’ve got a girly name!” I don’t know. That bravado is obnoxious. It’s annoying when someone sees themselves as everything…but that’s something all young people on that tribe seem to be inflicted with. Plus that could have been used against him later instead of this instance. Let him bleed out on that painful stupid comment, don‘t kill off the strength so quickly.

He was stronger than three girls. Which three girls? Ursula, Black Hypo (short for hypocrite--black because she’s a negative, nasty human who is nothing but a dark bit of despair and if I were really talking about being serious she’d be a black hole, but that sounded too racist ), and Purple…I’d like to say dimwit, but I haven’t seen enough of her to state that outright. So she’ll just be Purple. Now their tribe is so weak there’s no way they’ll win next week. I like eating my words because they’re tasty and smell like apple cinnamon--so next weak I might get a tasty snack.

Ursula is trying to cause problems and Shannon finds out and wants her gone. Everyone agrees…well everyone if everyone means five people. Chase, who promised to side with Shannon at the get go, goes back on his word. Why? Because apparently Chase means he chases tail he ain’t never gonna get. Why? Because Ursula the lesser likes smart men. She constantly puts his brain power down. If she likes him it’s like liking a tissue. It’s good to catch a good release, but nothing more. Chase is Ball-less. Totally and utterly ball-less. If you asked, “Chase where’s your balls?” You’d have to look to Ursula cause she wears them around her neck like a warrior. She cut ‘em, so she wears them. A trophy of a mental war she’s won. Ball-less is an idiot and no longer will he be called Chase until he takes his balls back.

Oh, why is she called Black Hypo? Well…Black Hypo lost her socks. Who does she blame? Everyone but herself. What does Black Hypo do? What would you do if you lost your socks? Look for them, right? What does she do? Takes someone else’s socks. That’s so not hypocritical. Whose socks? Surfer’s socks. Surfer is like the most mellow of all the young people. The awesome one. The ONLY one I like on that entire tribe of dumb. He walks up to her and looks at her wearing his socks and she cops an attitude. SHE, who stole his socks, cops an attitude and then proceeds to tell him to not give her attitude and that she can get loud. Uh…no sista, you was already LOUD. You didn’t need anyone’s help to get any more octaves in that annoying stupid voice of yours. I think anyone who is remotely normal would have been as flabbergasted as Surfer was over Black Hypo’s audacity to take what wasn‘t hers and act like she was in the right.

That’s not all her stupidness. She proceeds to complain about Peg Leg. Peg Leg not only performed well in the challenge that they ALL LOST, but she performed the best. She is the STRONGEST female and she only has ONE real leg. Black Hypo talked about how she’ll be mad if Peg Leg loses her leg in the challenge or if she complains about only having one leg. She then says how she doesn’t like her. Does she give a reason? No. The only reason she gives is the lack of leg. Tell her she has an attitude like all black women and she’ll scream racist. But she can sit there and create an entire judgment on someone who has only one leg as if she knows how a person with one leg operates, because she’s hopped in her shoe.

Then there’s Pop Collar. Mr. Yellow Pop Collar has no spine. He sides with the women use of weakness as something to latch on to. He agreed that voting off the strongest person on the team as a wise choice. If you start pruning a tribe because you don’t like someone instead of getting rid of the weakest members, you are creating a team that’s full of losers and asking to be a loser yourself. And anyone that pops their collar isn’t to be trusted. No one should trust Pop Collar…his smile is as sly and devious as a Ahmadinejad’s and he even answers questions as well. Not to mention his need for ethnic cleansing on Survivor by getting the minorities through and slewing the whites off the face of the game.

Tribal Counsel is a total A-Bomb of fail for everyone. Ball-less can’t admit to be a douche bag liar and just say he’s into Asians and wants her for her Asian-ness instead of pretending as if his alliance with her is something wholesome and has nothing to do with sexual attraction. Shannon goes into a weird defensive mode and pisses anyone off that is gay or an Asian liar. Pop Collar makes a comment earlier about how Shannon is too into himself and then while making his vote he comments to the camera how he’s the most eligible bachelor in New York. WHAT? You’re just as into yourself as he is. Freakin’ hypocrite. See, can’t trust anyone that pops their collar.

Shannon goes home because No Personality or Generic Blond Guy votes for him instead of voting off Ursula. Idiot. This is why you’ll still be a zero face for a long time. You let your emo self dictate who to vote off when it should be logical voting. Survivor is easy to vote before merge. Vote off the weakest player and/or most useless. Logic wins before merge and should every single time. If you allow emo-ness to rule before the merge, you will lose. This is why Russell lost. He allowed emo to control every vote he made and so he set off landmines that exploded in his face at the final tribal, his own fault. After merge it should still be logical, but a bit of emotion needs to filter in. Because now you need to decide who do you want to sit next to to win. Would you like too lose to this person? Pick the person that you’ll be okay to lose to.

Black Hypo bites off Surfer’s head during tribal? Why? Because she’s exactly who she said she wasn’t: a B-I-T-C-H. That simple. She spelled it herself. I’m surprised her schooling got her that far. Then she does the head roll. Really? Did someone tell her to play the token black girl? Where do they find these idiots?

Oh but nothing was as awesome as watching Ursula’s face as her name came up a few times. She looked shocked. Haha, best moment of the entire show. Woman with too much pride got the pride punched right out of her. She got called out and she couldn’t handle it. Too many people in her life fall for her stupid display of flirty, but when you stink like morning breath and fart, flirting isn’t as charming as it is when you smell like heaven. Ball-less’s face when he was called out look like he was thinking of his dad and how disappointed he’d be in his son for lying like that. Something he probably held high: loyalty. Something that Ball-less just crapped on, spit on and then kicked in the gonads.

What have I learned this episode? That Ball-less is the biggest moron of the episode and probably episodes to come. I hope none of the young people win. They aren’t worthy. The worst old person is better than the best young person…so far. Shannon said he should have been on the older tribe, and I have to agree with that sentiment. Young people think too much on how they feel and who hurt their feelings instead of what is best for the tribe as a whole. And just as I predicted, the young tribe falls apart and will continue to do so because they voted out the wrong person.

But I <3 how Survivor makes me ramble and rant and rave.

Until next time…The Caustic Survivor Fan has spoken.

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