“The Last Song” Just Read It, Instead

Genres: Drama, Kids/Family, Romance and Adaptation
Running Time: 1 hr. 48 min.
Release Date: March 31st, 2010 (wide)
MPAA Rating:
PG for thematic material, some violence, sensuality and mild language.
Distributors: Walt Disney Studios Distribution

Directed by: Julie Anne Robinson

JJ Rating: B-

Watch it Again: No.
Own it: Maybe.
Recommend it to: Young females or older females. I think that anyone between (ages 20-35) would find it terrible. Males just will roll their eyes a lot.

It’s another Nicholas Sparks’s book to movie. Ronnie (Miley Cyrus) has an attitude and doesn’t want to stay with her father (Greg Kinnear). That is until she meets Will Blakelee (Liam Hemsworth). Then she just fawns and becomes more human. Her little brother, Jonah (Bobby Coleman), is a constant show stealer. The Last Song.

It seems there’s a running theme in Sparks’s books and that is someone has to die. That’s about it on that topic.

Anyway Miely Cyrus is odd. I like her and I don’t. In The Last Song I just wanted to shove her against the wall and make her stand up straight or put a few books on her head and make her balance them. There’s this odd vilocaraptor thing going on. She crouches like she’s going to pounce on the next person that sings better than her. There’s nothing wrong with her as a person, but the acting and the posture isn’t good enough. It’s as if she’s not even trying. Kinnear’s just good. Give him a character (even if it’s in a terrible movie) and he’ll own it, be believable and he won’t disappoint. They couldn’t have picked a better person. Speaking of not being able to pick better, Bobby Coleman was outstanding. If he was not in this movie (sorry Kinnear) I would have rated this film lower. Every time he came on the screen he stole the show. Also had he not been in the film (again sorry Kinnear) I wouldn’t have cried. He’s got the goods to be awesome if he so chooses to continue acting.

I have read one of Sparks’s books and that was "A Walk to Remember" and it happens to be not only one of my favorite (short) books but one of my favorite movies. He’s a great writer and storyteller. What went wrong from the transition from book to movie, I don’t know. But something went terribly wrong, because The Last Song had a lot of awkward moments that was due, in part, to the acting that wasn’t up to snuff for the roles. It was a mess.

Had Kinnear and Coleman not been in The Last Song, it would have suffered greatly and so would the audience. It was supposed to have meaning, heart and care, but all it had was awkward cheesy moments that will not be able to stand the test of time let alone the Box Office.

Dear Hollywood,

Stop churning out Sparks’s books half baked. Or maybe I should be half baked while watching them, maybe that’s my problem. He’s a great writer. He’s a great storyteller. Either take from the source material without changing so much that the only thing that’s the same is the title or leave well enough alone. Getting a quick buck off his talent and his fans is ok as long as the film is good. But when the film is reminiscent of a Saturday made-for-TV-movie then it is possible that y’all are doing something terribly wrong.

Before you produce, create, rewrite another Sparks’s book into a film please just make sure you’re going to honor the story more than the green. Could you do that for me?

Thanks,

JJ

Wishful thinking on my part, I know. *sigh*

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