Running Time: 2 hrs. 10 min.
Release Date: November 20th, 2009 (wide)
MPAA Rating:PG-13 for some violence and action.
Distributors: Summit Entertainment, LLC
Director: Chris Weit
JJ Rating: D
It is the second part of Twilight and has more Jacob the werewolf. Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Worse melodramatic mess than “Dawson’s Creek” or “The O.C.”--specifically a few episodes before Marissa was mercifully killed. I was wondering if Bella (Kristen Stewart) knew that it takes more muscles to frown than smile, because she seems to have the biggest difficulty in lifting those corners of her mouth and showing those pearly whites.
I don’t know which is worse Bella’s inability to decide between which freak she wants or the screaming retarded females who couldn’t help but to release their rape piercing vocals into my ears. They really know how to make werewolves and vampires into the girly-ist crap-spastic poo farm I have ever had the unjoy of viewing. AND if females think that if they act like Bella that they’ll get a guy, they are sorely mistaken.
I like Jacob (Taylor Launter). He is a strong character that has the sad life of being the better Wolverine to the Vampire less-than-Cyclops. Geek talk and if you know what I’m going on about then you win an award. I like Cyclops more than Wolverine. Twilight has a similar story triangle going like X-Men with Cyclops-Jean Grey-Wolverine. Though this one is extremely boring, destructively uncreative and ballsy bleh. If Jacob was not in the film as much as he was I would have totally checked out. I like that Launter worked hard to keep the part. I could never imagine being that lean. I don’t even think if I starved I would even become that thin. I have a huge frame (or so I think) and I don’t see how it’s possible to be that thin.
I think the werewolf should abort these films and make his own film. What do I know? I only like him because he’s not nice to Bella.
I almost hate myself for seeing this New Moon; almost. I think that it’s interesting because this proves that females are not smarter than males. Males love substance and apparently females love fantasies that could never, ever, ever become a true to life-tales. This film is what they should show to torture terrorist. Mark my words once the terrorist suspect gets to the five minute mark they’ll want to tell everything they know so that they do not have to suffer through the 2 hour and excruciating 10 minutes of this bile. Do not allow yourself to be dragged to this film. Do not do it. You might die from the sparkling reflection of the vampire who emotes all his feminine side and totally craps out his masculinity. Who knew that vampires could have their balls cut off? Apparently Stephenie Meyer knows the technique all too well; a little too well if you ask me.