“Nine” Lives Lost while Watching this Tiring Film

Genres: Drama, Musical/Performing Arts and Adaptation
Running Time: 1 hr. 58 min.
Release Date: December 25th, 2009 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for sexual content and smoking.
Distributors: The Weinstein Company

Director: Rob Marshall

JJ Rating: C-

A cheating man by the name of Guido (Daniel Day-Lewis) tries to garner sympathy for lacking the ability to create a film and pick a woman. Nine.

There was a wonderful moment where one of the women characters says that someone is a siphon of everything she is. I really like that scene.

I wish that the musical numbers were more about moving the story along than allowing them to be productions. Some of them were good, but most were just not moving the story along.

I am spoiled with how Glee uses songs to further the story, Across the Universe having actors who sang on set instead of dubbed and Moulin Rouge with contagious songs from pop culture in wise use. Then there are good musicals that were made into movies (recently) like Hairspray and the semi good (to me) Mama Mia! How could Nine miss the mark so terribly? Especially with someone that did Chicago? You can no longer just put out a musical and think that there’s not enough great things that people can’t compare them. There is more than enough to know what a terrible musical looks like.

I have often wanted them to do a movie version of Into the Woods and 1776 (even though they’ve sort of done one with the teacher from Boy Meets World), but after seeing how they treat some musicals to movies…I don’t know if it would be great for them to even bother.

I was bored. I was bored out of my mind. I did not know the point of the film outside of someone who pretends they can’t control their need to be a horny toad with his love. How is that even remotely complicated. It’s like someone saying they can’t stop killing but continuously surrounds themselves with weapons and then cries because temptation is too great.

The only really great part of this film (that I would assume is during the credits) is Griffith Frank singing “Unusual Way”. He even has a YouTube channel with very few views. He sings well and I think that is the only positive thing to take away from this film. Funny that I don’t even know if it’s in the credits. I do know he’s on the soundtrack. Oh and sorry…Judi Dench is fantastic. I think her acting is the best out of all of them. She never disappoints me.

How am I supposed to feel sorry for a man that cheats on his wife? Why should I feel sorry for a man that cheats on his wife? Why does he wallowed about as if someone else caused his problem other than him? It’s his fault and he acts like he was crapped on. Yeah, you crapped on yourself there buddy. Sorry.

If I were a cat I would have died by the time this film was over. Each time it pretended to have a point in existing I died a little and eventually, if you’re good at math or great at predicting where I’m going with this, I died NINE times. Yes…nine stands for how many times you’ll kill over. I feel sorry for me after writing that. I have so much empathy. I am blessed.

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