“Public Enemies” & “Ice Age 3” Give New Meaning to Mediocre---and NO it was NOT Necessary

Genres: Drama, Crime/Gangster and Adaptation

Running Time: 2 hr. 23 min.

Release Date: July 1st, 2009 (wide)

MPAA Rating: R for gangster violence and some language.

Distributors: Universal Pictures

Directed by: Michael Mann


Genres: Comedy, Kids/Family, Animation and Sequel

Running Time: 1 hr. 27 min.

Release Date: July 1st, 2009 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG for mild humor and peril.

Distributors: 20th Century Fox Distribution

Directed by: Carlos Saldanha, Michael Thurmeier

JJ Rating for both: D

I have never wrote for two movies in a single movie review, but I’m sick and tired of horrible movies being passed off as great ideas for summer and these two have broke the camel’s back.

If banging my head against the desk would bring about better movies that seemed promising based on the cast, I actually would. I would sacrifice a few brain cells for the betterment of film than lose them to the lackluster crap I visually have to endure.

Public Enemies and Ice Age 3 have many things in common and the main thing they have in common is that they have great casts. For a crime drama Public Enemies has a perfect cast. For a comedy Ice Age 3 has a perfect cast. But the problem stems mainly from the script and the way the film was created more so than with the cast. The cast is not at fault. However, the massive stand out in either film is Johnny Depp. He’s just awesome more so than the awards that litter (or are not littering) his mantles. An honorable mention is Simon Pegg who voiced the new character called Buck. He was just a witty addition to a very drawn out franchise. It is sad that Ice Age has ended on such a horrible note considering the characters that were created for this film are perfection. None of the returning characters were really put to great use and were only there for comfort, which is why Buck stood out so much and why he will be the only character anyone will remember.

Public Enemies doesn’t even have a stand out moment, let alone a stand out line that would make it into classic movie history. No one will remember this film for anything great and it will easily be forgotten (and should be) when Oscars come around. Maybe it should be remembered for cinematography or something like that. But otherwise it will be forgotten as a mistake that had great ingredients that were not put to any real fantastic use.

Ice Age 3 was a few pencil shavings from being a direct to DVD release. If only a few people were like, uh no I don’t want to attach my name to this sinking ship – it would have been.

The scripts for both of these films were created by writers that were tired and wanted to bore people. Well they succeeded in doing that. They should win a Razzie for that. They won’t, but they should not be forgotten just because something worse comes along. I think there should be a separate category (maybe there is) for blockbusters that just plane suck and deserve an award that puts it in its place.

I would like to thank Public Enemies and Ice Age 3 for giving new meaning to mediocre and for including the entire world in on that memo. We really appreciate it. I’m sure that this new level of mediocre will give us all pause next time we see a crappy film that is suppose to be summer blockbuster cool. We’ll just stare and say, “Does this change the definition of mediocre like those two films I forgot about did previously?” Even writing about crappy films makes me feel crappy and probably write crappy as well. They just simply suck for creating such trash. They have zero respect for an art form that should be getting better instead of this stagnation rut it is in. Ick.

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