“Next Day Air” was Crap in a Box

Genres: Action/Adventure and Comedy

Running Time: 1 hr. 30 min.

Release Date: May 8th, 2009 (wide)

MPAA Rating: R for pervasive language, drug content, some violence and brief sexuality.

Distributors: Summit Entertainment, LLC

Directed by: Benny Boom

JJ Rating: F

The wrong package was delivered to the wrong house. What was in the package? Drugs. Ooh no! Next Day Air.

I did not want to write review because it was that bad. I was looking forward to this movie because the trailer was so promising, but as one can tell I am sorely disappointed and dejected that I was duped by my hopefulness. I have not walked out of a movie since Semi-Pro and I don’t really enjoy doing that. Next Day Air was not funny as it should have and could have been. It lacked any sense of humor, character coolness and sensibility. It was a hodgepodge of crap acting that would best be left for those Youtube video TV-series…oh wait that’s more of an insult to those creative people on Youtube. Sorry. The people that made Next Day Air should take pointers from the Youtube people to produce and create better movies than this.

What were (as I will call them from now on) unjokes would come out of the actors’ mouths and fly as smoothly as a brick would if someone dropped it on your foot. First you’d wince in pain and then you’d look at them as if they were an idiot for having the audacity to do that in the first place. Then you’d want to beat them with said brick. That was how I felt watching this movie. I wanted to inflict the same pain on those actors, writers and director as they were inflicting on me. I wanted wholesome and righteous revenge.

We left the theater forty minutes in and then we went and watched Star Trek again. That not only made us feel better but gave us a much needed dose of a fantastic movie about the final frontier. So what should you learn from this? Star Trek is awesome and you should see it if you haven’t and yes it’s way better than Next Day Air. Watching Star Trek in reverse not understanding the wrapped reverse language would be better than this movie. Watching a UPS truck drive around town is better than this crustified crap in a box and it didn’t even have the fortitude to make the packaging pretty.

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