“Fast & Furious” Is Everything that Makes Nothing Spectacular

Genres: Action/Adventure, Thriller, Sequel and Sports

Running Time: 1 hr. 39 min.

Release Date: April 3rd, 2009 (wide)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, some sexual content, language and drug references.

Distributors: Universal Pictures

Director: Justin Lin

JJ Rating: D

Ever play a video game where the game was fun but the obnoxious movie parts had terrible lines and the story was dug out of the crapper with two hands? Well that’s Fast & Furious in a nutshell.

The cars were hot. The action sequences were fun and exciting. The acting was bottom of the barrel. It was like Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster and Michelle Rodriguez all came back because they couldn’t find jobs elsewhere. The acting was like the actors were saying piff whatever. There was no effort in it. Vin Diesel is just a joke. I have never seen someone be so one dimensional no matter what he does. He’s flat like the flatline. Time of death?

If it were not for the great scenes with the cars this movie would have sucked. So whoever set up how the cars looked as well as the shots and the over all execution of them should be praised to heaven and back. They made the movie work. The actors…did NOTHING.

There are now four of these and they left the end up to another one. It’s like the never ending story, except that the Neverending Story was awesome even though they tacked on more. Let.It.Die. I hope next week the box office is dreadful for this movie. But with that dumb mall cop still raking in the money, I don’t have much of that hope.

It’s so frustrating that Hollywood would give money to a movie idea like this instead of doing something with substance that’ll actually last. It’s like the government and their never ending bailouts of companies that couldn’t do it right the first time. Where have all the smart and innovative people gone?

I don’t know if I could ever forgive Universal for promoting this crap; Walker, Brewster and Rodriguez for being in it and Justin Lin for directing it. Yes I failed to mention Vin Diesel. If he acted the best he ever acted it wouldn’t be any different than what he gave in this film. He’s a constant abysmal mess. Fast & Furious makes me want to cry in pain and suffering. It is everything that makes nothing spectacular. It sucks the life out of the enjoyment of movies and theater and takes money for a service it fails to provide. I wish it to die in movie panning hell.

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