“Knowing” Alienating Nicolas Cage from the Good and Smart Actors

Genres: Action/Adventure, Science Fiction/Fantasy and Thriller
Running Time: 2 hrs. 1 min.
Release Date: March 20th, 2009 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for disaster sequences, disturbing images and brief strong language. Distributors: Summit Entertainment, LLC

Directed by: Alex Proyas

JJ Rating: D+

Lucinda Embry (Lara Robinson) writes a bunch of numbers that are ‘whispered’ to her to put into a time capsule. Then the time capsule is opened 50 years later and Caleb Koestler (Chandler Canterbury) gets her numbers and thinks there’s something unique about them and takes them home. John Koestler (Nicolas Cage), his father, works with numbers and when he looks at it he sees a very peculiar thing. He sees that the numbers indicate dates of disasters and how many have died in those disasters. It seems rather accurate, but there are three more dates on that list that have yet to occur. Knowing.

That picture looks like she’s asking, “Are you sure this is a good script?” And Cage states, “I don’t know what a good script is any more. Pity me.” The premise of Knowing is pretty cool but watching it is like knowing how it would feel to have your brain pulled out while still alive the Egyptian pre-embalming way.

In the beginning John has a conversation with Caleb and in that conversation is a lot of foreshadowing that bugged the hell out of me because it totally just told the tale of the entire film. Well for me it did, maybe for someone else it was less telling.

There was way too much talking and whining and freaking out for it to be at all enjoyable. Diana Wayland (Rose Byrne) was the character that reminded me of a screaming child at a restaurant and you would wish she’d shut up so you could enjoy your time, but she won’t. And when she finally does shut up it’s suppose to be emotional but it’s hollow like the heads of the people that created this trite crap.

The fact that this movie beat out I Love You, Man at the box office is almost proof how lame the average moviegoer is. Hopefully next weekend the numbers for Knowing will drop so much that it’ll be laughable and I Love You, Man’s numbers will either stay close to the same or rise a bit.

Knowing makes me feel cheated. It wasn’t very trustworthy in the trailer but it did sort of make a silent promise to be interesting and be the type of interesting that is hated by the main critics but likable, but it lied. There I sit rolling my eyes the entire time and then going to sleep. Two hours is far too long for a script that could be explained in two lines. I’d do it, but I don’t want to ruin it for those that want to see it.

Knowing was like Noah’s ark for the mentally retarded. It’s so insulting. I walk out of the theater and I could not believe there were people waiting to see it. I wanted to tell them not to waste their time, but apparently I would have had to do that a lot because it was number one this weekend. I don’t know which one is worse: Knowing or Bangkok Dangerous. They both have one thing in common: Nicolas Cage. He’s a boring factor. If he doesn’t pick a decent script he will be, to me, like Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal; so bad that if they are in the movie I won’t bother seeing it. He’s got two more chances or he’s on the ‘don’t see that because he’s in it’ list.

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