“The International” Waawawaawawaawa

Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama and Thriller

Running Time: 1 hr. 58 min.

Release Date: February 13th, 2009 (wide)

MPAA Rating: R for some sequences of violence and language.

Distributors: Sony Pictures Releasing

Directed by: Tom Tykwer

[A.D. - Run Lola Run]

JJ Rating: C-

Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) is an Interpol agent who is investigating a big bank. He is working with Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts) who is with a district attorney’s office in New York City. They do a lot of talking and walking and one good gun battle to find that there’s really nothing they can do. The International.

Don’t let the trailer or the poster trick you. The International is as thrilling as waking up in bed in the morning without having to figure out where you are or who you are sleeping next to and the question that dominates the mind, at this point, did you or didn’t you. The only thrilling moment was the gun fight and that lasts about five minutes and that’s not just a part of this long drawn out film. You would think the director (Tom Tykwer) would know how to do a thriller since he did do the cult classic Run Lola Run.

All there is is talk after talk after talk. Soon it just starts to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. You know the famous sound. But the difference with this boring than other movie’s boring is that the topic is interesting. The suggestion that a bank would have so much power is pretty creepy, and for that The International had some pull, but, of course, not enough.

The characters were as flat as a thirteen-year-old girl before tissue implants. There was nothing great about any of the characters. Showing Whitman’s family was totally pointless. Showing most of the movie was pointless. It could have been 20 minutes shorter and that would have made it more hard hitting than it was.

If you really want to know how interesting it was then I could flat out tell you why it was interesting in five minutes without you having to waste 2 hours of your life. I have already started with the bank having power. There’s a little more. For what it could have been compared to what it was disappointment is only the beginning of what one would feel after seeing this film. It’s like going to the restaurant and wanting to eat a hamburger and all they have is tofu burgers. The thought would be, ‘what a waste.’

It’s movies like this that continues to make me realize that I could so write a movie that makes millions. If this isn’t proof, nothing could be.

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