“Twilight” Girly, Girl Vampire-ish

Genres: Drama, Romance, Thriller and Teen
Running Time: 120 min.
Release Date: November 21st, 2008 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for some violence and a scene of sensuality.
Distributors: Summit Entertainment, LLC

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

JJ Rating: B-

Bella (Kristen Stewart) moves back with her father and encounters a strange family and enjoys one of the sons a lot. His name is Edward (Robert Pattinson) and he’s elusive with everyone until Bella comes along and tests his will power. Twilight.

I never heard of these books until the movie started making a splash a while back. I still did not bother to try to read any of them. Vampires do not interest me as much as zombies. Even Blade was not all that interesting to me other than because it was Marvel. Underworld just had a cool storyline and therefore took my interest. Twilight was only interesting because of the buzz that was around it and the fact that they hindered reviews from coming out until the day it was released.

Twilight is a girl movie. If I am to wager a guess I’m going to state that it’s mainly for girls who are between the ages of 12 and 16. I don’t think many people outside of that range will like it or find it interesting. I am not within that range nor that gender. So I did not find it as entertaining as one who is would.

I tend not to want to say movies are horrible when they are based on a book that doesn’t interest me, so I don’t. I keep that in mind when giving the movie a rating. I found the story slow and tiresome. It was far too in the realm of romantic for me to pay attention. There was a lot of flirting back and forth between Bella and Edward.

The acting was decent and the visual effects were neat. The location was drab but that’s what it has to be when dealing with vampires. Bella wore cool clothes. The eyes of the vampires were so awesome. The pale skin is very off putting and I would like to state that those with lighter colored hair just look terrible with pale skin. The darker the hair the better. I think all vampires, for that reason, should have black hair. You are welcome for receiving my input on the matter.

There was so much romantic stuff that it was less vampire and more lovey dovey and that, for me, was just not good. Which is why I could state that the guy s will not enjoy this film. My favorite scene was the baseball scene because it was powerful and fun, plus it used my favorite song from the soundtrack by Muse. Something the entire film could have used in some form or fashion that would have given it some life. The other really good part was the ending when the dance happens. It’s visually great. I understand that the setting is drab because vampires have to survive in some way, but really does it have to be a visual bore?

What was great, other than those two scenes, was the take on vampires themselves. I enjoyed the different adaptation to the entire vampire lore. That was creatively genius. The added Indian touch was also along those lines. It has great ideas, I just did not like how it was presented. I can understand how females like it, though. On that note I just might see the next one, because there are more to come.

Twilight is a female version of a male creation: Vampires. It makes vampires lovable and cute and cuddly, all things males avoid at all cost. If you are a male and you are dragged to this then you have one thing to look forward to, other than the end, is the baseball scene. That scene reinforces how hot women look in baseball suits. That’s about it. Females have romance movies to enjoy and males have raunchy comedies to enjoy. Twilight seems to have waved a uterus magic wand and created girly, girlish vampires. They’ve, in a sense, bedazzled them. They are shinny in a way.


Nefertari said...

Oh I totally agree with you on the blonde vampires. I mean I know that in the books a few of the Cullens were blonde, but the people they picked were all naturally dark haired. They looked super fake! I hated that part. I mean at least make them a little less blonde, right?

Nefertari said...

Okay, but why can't girls like Twilight AND raunchy comedies? That's a bit unfair. I loved this AND Pinapple Express, Zach and Miri, etc... Sorry you can't appreciate both. :)

J_Jammer said...

ha. Thanks for the comments.

It's not that females cannot appreciate both, it's that romance is created for females and raunchy comedies for males.

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