You've heard the rumors (especially if you've read my previous post) and you may have said to yourself, "Golly, I wonder just what kind of crystalized opiate those zany, pre-pubescent boys at MTV might be smoking?" Even worse, you may have read the UK's telegraph article all but CONFIRMING that Cher would be cast as Catwoman in the new Batman film.
But it ain't happening, folks. Not now, probably not ever.
And now, thanks to Jay Stone at the Stone Report, we have a quote from Philip Seymour Hoffman about the silly and spurious suggestion that he would be cast as the Penguin in the new flick:
“I grew up a comic book fan, so I love that stuff. I love going to that stuff. I think what they’re doing with that whole Batman story is really true to what that whole Batman thing has always been. It’s one of the darkest origins of a superhero, to get all nerdy and geeky on you. That character sees his parents gunned down as a young child: I remember when I was a kid reading that story, so seeing it now come to life as the dark tale that it really is as an intense, really dark, very visceral, adult tale that they’re doing now, all the great work people are doing on it, of course I wouldn’t say, ‘Well, no, no no.’
So if you are following along with your scorecards at home, here is the latest tally:
Its all bullshit.
- No Johnny Depp
- No Angelina Jolie
- No Philip Seymour Hofman
- No Cher
Director Christopher Nolan hasnt cast anyone for the upcoming film because no script is written. And no script is written because the project hasnt been greenlit by the studio yet (although The Hollywood Reporter leaked info that the studio is eager to do another one). And the project hasnt been greenlit by the studio because Nolan hasn't even said he would even DO another Batman sequel.
Despite all of this conjecture, I have been biting my lip under strict confidentiality for a while now, but the time has come for me to finally say it:
I will be playing the part of Robin.
Oh and I am also working with this year's "Project Runway" winner to re-design the costumes to bring back nipples.