The Emmys: Phoning It In




Once again, the Fifty-gazillionth annual Prime-Time Emmys were presented last night. After watching the entire extravaganza from start to finish (OK...reading a 2-minute recap this morning...) Here are some observations from the cheap seats:

"Breast Actresses" : Left and Right
The Host: This year, we got that ubiquitous piece of pop-culture flotsam, Ryan Seacrest. I think it says quite a bit about where this show is headed that they didn't even get someone who TRIES to be funny. Lame, uncontroversial, boring turning what is usually a colossal snoozefest into a mega-colossal snoozefest. At least we were spared "America voted...".

Comedy Awards: Being the only comedy currently on TV, it should be surprising that 30 Rock won everything. The winner for shortest acceptance speech is train-wreck dujoir, Alec Baldwin who said, "I can't drink a damned trophy!" before tossing the statuette over his shoulder and hitting Seacrest in the head (Seacrest...out!)Actually, I think Christina Applegate's breasts won for best supporting
Yeah, I said flotsam... ass.

actress, though the real credit ought to go to her bras and her oncologists...


A Funny Sandwich (with a side of douche)
Best Drama: Bunch of shows i've never heard of. Hugh Laurie got robbed again. But my favoriet "Key Grip" won, so there's that.






Variety Show Award: John Stuart is good, but didn't he look like death on a triscuit last night? The show needed more truthiness from Stephen Colbert.
Best Reality Host: I'm pretty sure the mere existence of this category is one of the portends of the Apocalypse.

Summary: Bland, tepid, banal, predictable, boring...hey, just

like last year's TV shows!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your jokes actually make the awards sound almost interesting. Thanks.

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