Rumors that Just Wont Die: Jolie as Catwoman

At the end of July, we posted a response to the crazy, asinine rumors circulating about that (among other things) Johnny Depp was going to be cast as the Riddler for the next Batman sequel.

I had thought that we had put to rest these ignorant, "wouldnt-it-be-cool-if..." rumors that get circulated through legitimate news sources hoping for a few thousand more page views.

However, from the "rumors that wont die "department comes this late-to-the-party post by desperate-for-content rag Celeb Edge that Angelina Jolie is going to be cast as Catwoman for the next flick.

Oh... and the best part: Jolie is getting advice on being Catwoman from porn star Terra Patrick, whom Celeb Edge says are friends that keep in touch through email.

Now, you have to ask yourself, why in the world would Angelina Jolie - of all people - need pointers on how to be sexy? Yes, I have stated previously that her sexpot clock has almost run out, but as they say in some circles, she's still quite "fappable."

And the even bigger question is: why in the world would Jolie need pointers on how to be sexy from a trollop like Tera Patrick?

I know I've said it here before and I KNOW I've said it a couple of thousand times to co-workers and people I've talked to, and thankfully, most Media Morgue readers have enough brain cells to smell bullshit when they read it, but the truth is that the next Batman flick hasn't even been written yet.In fact, according to an article in today's USA Today, "Dark Knight" director Christopher Nolan hasn't even confirmed that they are even doing another film. Of course, incontrovertible facts don't normally impede endless fanboy wishing or the pitiful pleading from a studio that would just love to squeeze another three or four hundred mil from the franchise.

Honestly. You cant cast actors for a film that hasnt been written yet. It just doesn't work that way.

Apparently I can't place all of the blame for this latest wave of mindless speculation on Celeb Edge. It appears that they are merely re-publishing an article given to them from a marketing company known as "BANG Media International" that was started about 10 years ago by a television commentator (IE: a walking bag of hot air) named Rick Sky. Bang Media's website states that they are "an independent London-based company specialising in the production of exclusive news services."

I guess "exclusive news services" can be interpreted to mean "stupid tabloid sensationalism." A quick search digs up several similar articles that seem designed more to put the company's by-line on as many entertainment sites as they can find.

But to make this as absolutely clear to everyone that may still be thinking it might be true, here are the facts:

1. As of yet, there is no sequel to the Dark Knight being planned.

2. Neither Angelina Jolie, nor Johnny Depp, nor Phillip Seymour Hoffman, or anyone else the internet might dig up has been cast.

3. Websites like Celeb Edge and The UK Telegraph should know better than to re-publish sensational rubbish like this.



Image stolen from Fark.com poster "NYZooMan"

No comments:

Hollywood Dump on Facebook

In addition to the articles we post here, we also link to stories we think are interesting and post them to our Facebook page. If you're on FB, become a fan!