CBS Avoids Paying Half a Million for Janet Jackson's Boob

So now that a federal appeals court has ruled that the FCC acted "arbitrarily and capriciously" when it fined CBS for airing the infamous "boob heard round the world," I guess we can all go back to the way things were before, right?

Yeah, don't bet on it.

I'm curious what the FCC thought was more shocking about the Janet Jackson Super Bowl incident: was it an exposed breast, an exposed breast with nipple jewelry, or the fact that it was a black woman's decorated exposed breast? Or maybe it was the admission that women do, in fact have nipples at all.

What was really shocking, though was how the FCC acted afterwards. Thanks to pressure from radical, ultra-conservative watchdog groups like the notorious Parents Television Council, the FCC ended up fining CBS $550,000 for the accidental nip slip during the halftime show - which Tivo reported even beat the commercials for the single most replayed scene of the entire broadcast. According to estimates, over 540,000 Americans contacted the FCC in the weeks following the show to complain, saying it was inappropriate in the context of a football game.

Actually, most half-time shows are inappropriate in the context of a football game. Have you watched one lately? What an orgasm of over-produced, Vaseline-teethed, fluff. Half time shows are only there so you can relive your bladder without feeling like you are missing anything important. But I digress.

Since the incident in 2004, the FCC has had their puppet masters pulling their strings to purge the airwaves of anything that could be even remotely offensive to the most chaste, bible-pounding, ultra-conservative nutjobs that watch TV.

Because as we've learned, watching a film where someone dies in a gruesome, bloody death is OK, just as long as there are no exposed breasts in the shot. And god forbid it be an exposed black woman's breast! Oh heavens! That's just too much for those starched, bleached white puritans to handle. I'm sure a good majority of them still wish they had won the civil war. Curse that Lincoln and his emancipation!

The recent court ruling was yet another setback in the FCC's effort to fill the airwaves with politically-correct, non-offensiveness. Last year, a New York federal appeals court handed the commission a major defeat in a case involving the FCC's bid to fine networks that broadcast "fleeting expletives" - those accidental slips of the tongue uttered in the middle of a live broadcast. At the time, the court felt that if the President and the Vice President can have those fleeting expletives aired from time to time, the rest of the population should be able to as well without having to fine the networks thousands of dollars.

Of course this recent ruling doesn't stop the watchdogs from trying to push their moral agenda. "Federal Judges Say Janet Jackson Superbowl Incident Wasn't Shocking Enough!" blasts the headline on the PTC front page "Court Okays Breast Nudity" says another:

"This ruling is a slap in the face to millions of parents who are trying
desperately to preserve their children’s innocence and protect their children
from Hollywood’s tireless assault on their values. " the PTC says.

The argument to this insane, totally ass-backwards school of thought, is of course, if parents really want to preserve their children's innocence, they should do so by playing a more involved role in the actual parenting process. If you don't like what your kid is watching (which is usually over 4 hours a day) why not just change the damn channel or turn off the TV altogether and drag fat-ass junior outside for some exercise instead?

Just a thought.

1 comment:

Fitz said...

I couldn't agree with you more. It's entertaining that the courts believe that a brief flash of a breast on a huge national stage like the Superbowl can be considered such a minor thing. Honestly I'm shocked that CBS hasn't filed suit against Janet Jackson. I suspect that if the FCC's ruling had stood, that might have happened.

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