Smallville IV: The Quest for Peace?

As our title suggests, (remembering the Disasterous Superman Flick of that title) not all of Smallville is peaches and cream. Today, we will run down some of the more annoying little habits the show has. Remeber, nobody is perfect.

Smallville is not a perfect show, but compared to some of the crap (in many cases award-winning crap) out there, its worth a look.
That being said, I would be remiss if I didn’t pick on this show a little for some of its more annoying characteristics:

The fucking “high-school” aged kids are played by 25-year-olds!!! How hard is it to find a 16-year-old who can act? Hell, they come home from parties and act sober all the time! I know there are production problems (and reproduction problems, right Jamie Lynn?) with working with children, but guess what…in two years, your done with that, and five years down the road, you’re not dealing with actors who look like their own characters’ PARENTS. The folks at Smallville have aged pretty gracefully, but its beginning to show in places.

Chloe’s cliché’s are REALLY annoying at times. I swear, every time I hear her utter “I don’t want to go all X-files on you, but…” or something like that, I wonder if Allison Mack has a “do not murder the writer” clause in her contract. I can think of no other explanation for her tolerating that shit.

The “hiding-my-secret” plot line really took over the first few seasons, especially before Chloe found out the truth. It gets to be grating, but stick it out….once Pete leaves (he knows, but is too much of a douch-baggy bitch to be able to keep the secret, stay in smallville and LIVE, so he moves) it gets better. Chloe’s way of finding out was WAY cooler than Pete’s, anyway.

Lex, Lois and Lana get their heads bashed in WAY too much. You’d think at some point one of them would start becoming distinctly Forrest Gump-esque (or George Bush-esque) after so many beatings, but despite spending enough time in the town’s hospital to have standing bed reservations, they all soldier along as if unscathed the following week.

On a related note, if you are a car on the Smallville set, get ready for a major ass-kicking. Ditto a pane of glass.

"Welcome to Smallville, Bitch"

The way the “meteor freaks” get their powers is plausible (in the context of the fantasy), but why must EVERY ONE of them go crazy or die. And why is it that you can’t swing a dead cat in Smallville without hitting a big pile of Kryptonite? It comes across as a plot contrivance sometimes…

Jor-El is an unmitigated prick in this series. As the only connection that Clark has to his heritage (other than his cousin, his uncle, his mother, etc.) he ought to expend a bit of an effort not being such an asshat. (If you're wondering, like I was, why Terrence Stamp as the voice of Jor-El is a "Special Guest Star", it's because he played General Zod in the movie, Superman II)

Finally, I think this series is heading for trouble. The seven-year contracts are up and Rosenblum (Lex) did not renew. For many, he is the main attraction of the show. The timeline is starting to seriously press against overlap with the movies/comics/other series/etc. Smallville will either have to end sometime soon, or change its name to “Lois and Clark II: Electric Boogaloo.” They didn’t get the platinum-blonde super-treat Laura Varderoot back permanently either. And, in what is sometimes the death-knell of any good series, Rosenbaum and Welling directed episodes last season.

Gone from Smallville?

Overall, this series is worth a look on DVD for fans and laymen alike. Its fun, lighthearted, sincere, well done and unpretentious. How the FUCK did something like this come out of Hollywood?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed your review (other than cringing at your overuse of certain IMO unnecessary words). I have stuck with Smallville since season one despite some of the obvious biggest pet peeve which I hope has finally been resolved, is Clark's continually blaming himself for all of the bad things that happen in Smallville. No more of that, please! After 7 years, he HAS to start becoming Superman! Thanks for the props for my favorite show! :)

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