"No Country for Old Men" Gets Nowhere Slowly

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Western and Adaptation
Running Time:
2 hrs. 2 min.
Release Date: November 9th, 2007 (limited)
MPAA Rating:
R for strong graphic violence and some language.
Paramount Vantage, Miramax Films

Directed by: Joel Cohen, Ethan Cohen

JJ Rating: B

There’s a bag of money. There’s a man that finds the bag of money. This man takes the bag of money. Then he who wants the bag of money looks for the bag. Bad things happen to stupid people and stupid things happen to bad people. No Country for Old Men.

The "villain" (Javier Bardem) was a waste of word space. He shouldn't have talked...his lines were dumb and he talked WAY too slow. Villains should being evil not annoying. I couldn't stand him and him dying wasn't going to make me like him or the movie. Apparently mushroom haircuts are scary. His hair reminded me of the guy from the Skittles commercial singing about berries and cream. I didn’t expect him to sing that song. Though if he were to sing he’d sing about flipping a coin and how not clever it is. His coin flipping reminded me of Two-Face a villain from Batman.

He has this wonderful weapon that is suppose to be some sort of scary device. It reminded me of nothing scary and therefore I didn’t fear his use on whoever he decided to use it upon. I really didn’t care who died in this movie, therefore the weapon of choice was bland and not scary. Did I make that point enough? I hope so. Not scary. That’s pretty horrible when the movie relies so heavily upon him to provide the thrilling aspect.

What about the story? It was predictable. I knew what was going to happen. Not all the time is predictability annoying but this time it was because it wasn’t suppose to be. It was set up not to be. I knew it was going to have one of those odd endings. I knew half the things that were going to happen were going to happen and that is frustrating.

So what was good about it? It was funny in the dark kind of way. The southern accents added to the funny as did the extras that were in the movie. Their southern personalities gave the lines they said flair and humor. The slow nature of the movie was not a bother so much. I actually like when movies are slow and have to rely heavily on lines. I just dislike it when there’s no story.

I like Kelly MacDonald who plays Carla Jean Moss the wife to the main character who found the money, Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin). She was a smart one. Her conversations with Brolin are witty and loving at the same time. I think her getting a nod for best supporting actress would be well placed. Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) is a wise and profound character. Jones has a clear shot for an Oscar with this one. I just hope that the movie gets passed for Best Picture. But knowing how they nominate these kinds of movies, because they nominated Monster’s Ball (god awful), it will most likely be nominated.

Jones’s character was the most profound of all the characters with his lines and his actions along with his intentions. He was more profound than they tried to make the villain out to be. The villain was like a muppet gone terribly wrong.

No Country for Old Men is an interesting title for the movie and makes perfect sense within the first ten minutes. Of course that is when I caught on but I’ve read that others took longer to understand, hence why my last sentence is important. I will not be buying this movie. I saw it because I heard good things about it and thought I’d give it a shot. I was not terribly disappointed just sad that the Coen brothers couldn’t put more into it and took so much away because of some odd artistic obsession. I know I’m in the minority thinking that what they have to offer might not be as grand as some think. I don’t see how this movie is A worthy. I barely see how it’s B worthy. The villain was bland, the story was not there, the slowness was okay for the most part but it was over done and created a void of boring that sucked out any cool that could have been there because of the witty and piquant script. So I’ve come to the vibrant and astoundingly profound notion that this movie is not for those who are quick to get, but for the ones who are just as, if not more so, slow as the movies progression to nowhere.

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