“Beowulf” Lacked Heroic Heart

Genres: Action/Adventure, Science Fiction/Fantasy and Animation
Running Time:
1 hr. 53 min.
Release Date:
November 16, 2007 (wide)
MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for intense sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sexual material and nudity.
Warner Bros. Pictures International, Paramount Pictures

Directed by: Robert Zemeckis

JJ Rating: C-

There is this great warrior by the name of Beowulf (Ray Winstone) who came to get rid of the evil bad, bad monster called Grendel (Crispin Glover). It’s a well known story to high schoolers for it’s required reading for some. Beowulf.

Again as I’ve done before with other movies I didn’t particularly like I’ll start with the good. The visuals were awesome. The bodies looked very real and detailed and neat. The bodies of Beowulf and Grendel’s mother were spectacularly wowing, mother to men and Beowulf to women. Agenlina Jolie as Grendel’s mother sounded hot. But really hot doesn’t make a movie. Robin Wright Penn was the only one that really stands out in my mind as worthy of remembering. She played Queen Wealthow. Crispin Glover as Grendel was just a match made in heaven. The voice was as icky as the creature. I’m supposed to be mentioning good things and I’m really not mentioning anything good just mediocre.

Mediocre is what Beowulf was. It wasn’t anything spectacular or outstanding. It was sub par compared to what spectacular really is in the movie world. This is like that movie that was made a while ago called Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001). That had awesome visuals with life like neatoness but the story wasn’t so grand. Beowulf is like that. The story blew. I saw a better adaptation and it was called Beowulf and Grendel (http://www.beowulfandgrendel.com/). It was beyond the word better.

Beowulf had action and it was interesting and good and somewhat thrilling. But action isn’t enough because the story needs a form of heart. It has to have feeling and it has to create a depth of care in the audience. It lacked that for me. I didn’t care. I didn’t care if anything happened to any of the characters. I just had the shrug my shoulder not care mentality.

I also got up and complained about a talking child. Do you know how often I do that? Not at all…because I don’t want to miss any of the movie, but since this movie was so blehing I wanted to and I did and guess what? I didn’t miss anything important because the movie drags.

Beowulf is a story that derives from a tale of long ago and people learn about it in high school and it’s spawned many movies and this one just proves they should STOP. I will NOT buy this movie nor do I ever want to see it again. I’m very disappointed in the way they decided to retell it. It should have had heroic heart instead of the stone cold money making greed suction that Hollywood movies seemingly LOVE to create.

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