I Know Who Killed Me Trailer

While watching Gordon Ramsey torture his latest contestants for a chance to work under his oppressive command in Vegas, I happened to catch the TV trailer for the Lindsay Lohan film "I Know Who Killed Me."

Gee, lots of hyper-quick shots all carefully designed for you to slow it down on your DVR and study every carefully placed frame of completely uninteresting film. If you are unfortunate enough to not possess a Tivo or other DVR unit you probably just saw a lot of flashing images and a stereotypical ominous voice-over babbling about how suspenseful and mysterious the film is going to be, blah blah blah.

According to Wikipedia, "A subliminal message is a signal or message embedded in another object, designed to pass below the normal limits of perception. These messages are indiscernible by the conscious mind, but allegedly affect the subconscious or deeper mind."

But instead of trying to slip past the conscious mind, advertisers have been doing a form of subliminal programming in an effort to get viewers to not skip past the advertising as they fast forward through the commercials on their DVR. Sprite did it not too long ago with their "Sub-lymon-al programming." The end result is that yes, people do slow down and step through the commercial one frame at a time to catch all the little things.

But all the "I know who killed me" trailer did was prove to me that the film is not worth seeing. And no subliminal message is going to be able to convince me that this film is nothing more than the studio's attempt to try to recoup expenses in spite of its main actor bringing the production to a screeching halt because of her "exhaustion" after boozing and drugging it up on New Years Eve, and before that with an apparent emergency appendix surgery.

You may also recall that Lindsay did "research" for the part by hiring a D-list actress to show her how to dance like a hoochie-mama. She also went to a few titty bars to learn a thing or two about the fine art of the zipless fuck - then trash-talked about the girls to her friends on her Blackberry. "Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cunts now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."

Seriously, does anyone in the known universe really think that Lindsay Lohan needs training on how to be a whore?

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