Party of "300" Your Table in Hell is Ready

Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Adaptation and War
Running Time: 1 hr. 56 min.
Release Date: March 9th, 2007 (wide)
MPAA Rating: R for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity.
Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Directed by: Zack Snyder

JJ Rating: A-

King Leonidas (what strong and cool name that is) lead 300 Spartans (hence the name of the movie 300) to battle against the massive army of the Persians lead by Xerxes (who looked like the first transvestite). The Persians out numbered the Spartans 100 to 1 but the Spartans did not back down and fought for what they believed in and if that meant to the death then die they would. They would not allow the Persians to over take their land or their ideals for it would hinder the very freedom in which they cherish and hold as their human right.

This movie is graphic in battle. Of course basing what one saw in the trailer it should be easy to surmise that. It should also be easy to notice the way in which the battles would be shown with the cameras quickly panning and then slowing down for a moment to show something in more detail that would be lost if it were in real time. Also one should grasp the seriousness of the movie and that it would not be something of a silly nature and not something that would be a satire of sorts. In this time of freedom being in question around the world I can understand fully as to why the movie would take a serious look at this battle even though the events are not held to be true based on history’s telling.

I do not like sex in movies. Hardly do they EVER make it worth having in there other than some sort of perverted eye candy for the audience and it has nothing to do with the movie itself. This movie is no exception to that. The sex scene showed what most guys will like (have to say most now well because---you know. Ha) because it shows breast. I laugh at this need to see anything like that in a movie when they (who really want to see it) can just go home and Google breast and get all the breast they could ever want. I just think that kind of thing isn’t really movie needed it’s movie trash. The only movie that was able to get an awesome sex scene in was Underworld 2 (probably has more to it but that movie sucked and I’m not spending time looking for the full title) because it was creative and exotic and it did not show any nudity.

With that out of the way I like to say that the battle scenes are freaking awesome. I have seen tons of battle scenes and they happen so fast and I often wonder what the hell just happened. Sometimes the battle happen too fast or in a fight scene the camera is too close so you don’t get the full effect of the fight (Daredevil). It’s annoying. Some things just need to be seen and shown and the way it was done in 300 was awesome and creative. The action would be slowed down to show what was going on in that moment that would be worth seeing. If the action was not slowed down no one would have noticed the coolness in which was going on at that moment.

The lines in the movie were awesome. There are a few quotable lines that I think I will have to keep as my favorites. I really do like the “…for tonight we dine in hell” line. It’s just fun to say and to yell it would make for a very blood rushing moment. The Queen has her own storyline because she’s back at home in Sparta trying to get the King some backup but she has to go through the government and that’s just lame because all they do is talk while people are dying. But she has one great scene that women will cheer for and the men (I’m basing this on me haha) will find hot. I like aggressive women so I guess that would be why I’d really find it hot.

This is what I got from this movie. The Persians were shown as whorish and incapable of individual thought. They might have controlled the world at the time but it was not them that were in control it was King Xerxes. He controlled them and their way of thinking. That king looked like the first transvestite. From afar he looked like a he and then they pull up closer and he had those drawn on eyebrows, piercings everywhere even his face, he was only wearing a diaper---it was breath taking as in I was ready to puke. Everything they showed of the Persians was either perverted in magical ways of thinking or sexual practices that were not normal at that stage of history (some might think they were ahead of their time ha). The Persians were just whorish trash and held the power. They remind me of 95% of the world today. You go and see that movie and then come back and disagree with me that the Persians make up 95% of the people on this planet. Let me be more accurate 5.7 billion idiots and only 300 million not.

The other 5% are like the Spartans. The Spartan’s way of life was not that much more wholesome because they teach their kids to fight at an early age. But one can look at that as if they are teaching them to protect their way of life so that no one like the Persians will come in and steal it from them. The way the Spartans view sex seemed to be with one woman one love and that was that (and one line indicated no man with a man). There were a few exceptions but there always are but for the most part the Spartans were cleaner in action than the Persians. Those 300 million that have individual thought are capable of doing what they believe in any situation no matter the outcome. They are not afraid of death. They will not buckle just because the powers of the world tell them to do so. They will die for what they believe in and they will be remembered as humans who fought for what was right.

This movie may be too serious for some but it is very timely because people are so complacent in how things are that they would give up rights to have freedoms. 300 is a good movie for those that have an idealist way of thinking and can see what the Spartans did as heroic and something they themselves will do. Others will enjoy the fight scenes because they are unique among the movies out there. Others will enjoy the visual aspect and how the red capes of the Spartans stood out and how the camera worked the scenes and how the blood spew out of the holes in which were created by numerous weapons. I enjoyed the movie for all those aspects and I would recommend this movie as long as the person isn’t stuck on an out there ideal of what the movie is about.

I’m having a debate on whether or not I’m going to buy the movie. I might buy it. I think it’ll just depend on if I have the money or not. Ha. I liked it as you can tell it made me think and those kinds of movies are worth keeping. I have movies that don’t force me to think and I just have fun but I like the way I felt after I saw this movie because it made me say that I would have been among the 300 and I would have dined in hell.

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