Shocking Discovery: Hollywood is Full of Shit

The LA Times ran an interesting article today about Larry King and his interest in films. You have probably seen Larry's quotes emblazoning the header of a poster or print ad for a particular film. And King's blurbs are everywhere, on almost every film out right now, full of glowing praise on whatever flick he has happened to see that day. In fact, its fair to say that King has been accused of liking films - all films - just a bit too much.

I'll spare you the drawn-out history of King's escapism detailed in the article and just cut to the chase.

Even on films he doesn't like, King's words can still end up blowing sunshine up the producers and PR people's collective asses:
At lunch, he told me of the time he and Shawn Southwick, his sixth wife, took their two boys to see "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." "I had no idea what was going on," he says. "I turned to my wife and said, 'What is this movie about? I don't get it!' "

"I told the CNN person to tell the studio, 'I didn't understand the damn movie at all. I'd have to see it over and over again to figure out what happened.'
And what was the quote they used for the advertising?

"Finally, a Movie Worth Seeing Over and Over Again!"

Leave it to your friends at Media Morgue to be the ones to break the news that Hollywood lies to get what it wants.

I know, we are filing this under "no shit" as we speak.

Hey Hollywood, are ya paying attention?

If any studios are reading this, let it be known here and now that we are ready and willing to be your whore.

Guys, it's time to put the suspender-clad septuagenarian on the shelf and let a new guy take the reins of adjective spewing for a while. Its time for a young, new voice that can be heard above the din of normal holier-than-thou bloggers.

Media Morgue will make it our goal this year to get at least one of our quotes featured in the advertising for a feature film. Any film. No matter how much we all know it reeks to high heaven of the smell of bad acting, terrible direction, corny writing or cheap effects. No need to create some pretend movie critic that will wax eloquent upon your schlock like Columbia did with David Manning a while ago. And with a name like "Media Morgue" it is sure to attract some attention for your film to boot.

So c'mon, Hollywood, put us on your one-sheet; stick us in your pop-up ads. We will gladly polish your turd for you. And for a lot less than you pay your normal collection of critics to break out the kneepads for a chance to see the flick early.

Media Morgue is ready and willing to be your heroes of hyperbole.

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