Happy Birthday Scarlet!

Sorry, we're a little late getting to press on this one (deep frying a turkey in Brandon Davis' hair drippings makes for a surprisingly tasty bird) but Scarlet Johansson turned the ripe old age of 22 on Thanksgiving.

We're sure that this years celebration was better than last years, as Life Style Extra reports that her 21st birthday left something to be desired:

She revealed earlier this year: "Me and my brother wanted to go to a strip club, so we went there. I had this very tall girl. She was quite manic and strange.

"So she's kind of gyrating into me but she was so thin that her pelvic or hip bone, or some kind of bone, bruised me. It was horrible!"

Clearly, Ms. Johansson's handlers need to audition the participants of her celebratory "zipless fuck" a little more carefully. Great care must be taken in selecting the right lap dancer for the job so as not to bruise the radiant beauty of Scarlet's wonderful curves. The proper selection of the right establishment must also be considered for the ideal experience. (we recommend the Spearmint Rhino downtown. Ask for Devinn and tell her the Judge sent you.)

Still, the sight of our busty Scarlet and an equally buxom dancer (where approximately 72% of them are named Scarlet) would give us a great challenge to not pop our cork in the champagne room.

God, did I really just write that? OK, I have to lie down now. All that Thanksgiving turkey is going to my head.

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