"The Fountain" is Worthless Teenage Fodder

Genres: Drama and Science Fiction/Fantasy
Running Time:
1 hr. 36 min.
MPAA Rating: R for for some violence.

Release Date: November 22nd, 2006 (wide)
Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution, 20th Century Fox International

Directed by: Darren Aronofsky

JJ Rating: C-

I am supposed to give a little bit of info about the movie I saw. Well I saw The Fountain and I haven’t a clue as to what the hell this movie is about. Maybe someone will say that I’m a moron for not understanding what was going on in this film. Maybe they will and maybe they might be right if I were the only one that was lost. When I exited that movie I was not the only one that was confused. Not only was I confused but my friends were as well and so were the other 15 people that were there. (This was an early showing, like around noon.)

I could look at Yahoo and it could tell me what it was about but that would ruin my total confusion and dislike of this movie I have right now and that’s not what I want to do. This movie seems to try to reach out and be profound but instead reaches out and is perfectly executed but CRAZY and pointless. I’m supposing that there were three different types of stories going on at the same time…they were suppose to parallel one another? I don’t know. I sat there dumbfounded the entire time.

I thought, as I think many a time with movies that I don’t get half way through, that the ending would sum it all up and I would go, “Ooooh.” But that didn’t happen. There are movies like this that people either really like or they really hate, such as Mulholland Drive. I saw that movie and the first part I knew what was going on and then the second part hit and I was lost and by the end I didn’t know if I hated that movie or thought it was something that was cool. The Fountain I didn’t get a single thing in that movie other than maybe the possibility of greed at one point but I don’t even know if I even got that right.

I think the movie tried to be smart and instead of being smart it ended up sounding like a teenager lost in thought over non-existences. If you’ve never had the opportunity to hear such fodder then feel blessed because it’s dangerously boring and not mind tingling as the teenager would think…or as the director thought or as the writer thought. The only reason the movie doesn’t get a more failing grade is because the visual effects were astounding and that was the only thing keeping me from keelling over and taking a WANTED nap in hopes of when I woke up the movie would actually have a point.

The Fountain was a huge disappointment and I give out another warning, which I don’t do often but it seems necessary: DO NOT SEE IT. You have been warned…do as you will.

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