An Open Letter to All USAVOICE Journalists

Dear jilted USAVOICE "employees",

We at Media Morgue are terribly sorry that you were had by the fine, upstanding businesspeople at USAVOICE and your dreams of making thousands of dollars a month were smashed against the rocks of reality at the hands of an alleged felon. It's just not fair. I know. It happened to me too.

I too fell for the fantasy of making money by handing over the fruit of my labor to their greasy little clutches in exchange for being able to pay a few bills. Those dollar signs always seem to glow just a little brighter than the warning signs, don't they? Common sense was obscured by the thought of sitting on my ass, speaking my mind and watching a paycheck show up at my door every month. Thankfully I managed to back out of their trap before adding the email addresses of all my friends and family onto their spamming list.

For those of you that have quit USAVOICE, we'd like to present you with a consolation offer:

If you still want to write, we hope you will consider writing for Media Morgue. Please consider this your invitation.

Here's what we're looking for:
We need journalists that want to talk about all the terrible things that Hollywood presents us with: All the bad movies. All the pathetic television shows. All the steamy gossip. All the dirty...well, dirt. We want it. If you have a flair for acid-tongued irreverence and can frequently write about the idiocy and plastic nonsense generated daily by the Hollywood machine, these may be the droids you're looking for.

So what do you get for writing for Media Morgue?

Let me make this perfectly clear: YOU WILL NOT BE PAID. Not a dime. Not a penny. Certainly not a percentage of revenue equivalent to the percentage of total page views generated by your stories appearing on the site. Not now, probably not ever.

If you write for Media Morgue, you write for me; The Judge: A sarcastic, seditious, smart-ass sultan of sardonic schadenfreude; An evil little lawn gnome that likes to poke at the big dogs of Hollywood with a very small, pointy stick. This site exists for the pure and simple reason that venting frustration at what Hollywood considers "entertainment" makes for good, cheap therapy. If that appeals to you, we'd love to have you join us.

Journalists who write for Media Morgue will receive a press credential, guaranteed to get them thrown out of, or denied access to all the finest celebrity hangouts in Southern California. Oh and you will probably have to sell your soul as well, but I may send you a nifty aged parchment you can hang on your wall if I think you're worthy.

In short, I am looking for people that can be an asshole in 500 words or less. If you think you've got the chops, then here is your first assignment:

Send me an email telling me why you want to write for Media Morgue. Include writing examples if you have them, or just tell me in your typical style why you want to be a Media Morgue Minion and how you can contribute to the site.

So there you have it. If you are pissed off at being scammed, we're sorry. If you want to keep writing and would like to write about what we cover here, click on the link and send me a note.

And thanks for making Media Morgue such a popular place among pissed-off USAVOICE readers.


The Judge
Cheif Editor & Lord High Everything Else

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

*pssttt*...Judge,

Please correct the spelling of Cheif, to Chief....

Thank you

Vashti said...

I NEVER expected to make a lot of money with USA Voice. I don't have dollar signs in my eyes. I will be honest, however, any many I can make to help pay for my mother's treatments and medication (she has Alzheimers) I'll gladly take. I had my own personal reasons for getting involved with USA Voice outside of needing money. After more than 30 years of hard work, I found at age 56, I couldn't even get an interview for jobs I can do with both hands tied behind my back. I had held my last job for 10 years before we moved here to be with our daughter and new grandson. I really never thought I'd have such a hard time finding a job. I resent being put out to pasture way before my time. You might say I'm a little angry, disillusioned, hurt; shall I go on? USA Voice "seemed" to offer me a chance to feel useful again. Since I had written business articles in my former job, I had some experience to bring to the job. However, I am no longer posting articles. I'm not really sure about your intent with this "offer." If you are trying to make us (the disillusioned reporters at USA Voice) feel worse for being duped, I'm not sure you really can. I've gotten emails from people calling me a stupid idiot and a hack writer. If you really want - - or need - - to drive the knife in deeper, I certainly can't stop you. My intentions in taking the reporter job were honorable. I thought I could share some of my experience and knowledge. I'm sorry that some people feel a need to belittle me and others for having some kind of dream, need, want; whatever you want to call it. If what they want is to hurt us for that; job well done!

Vashti said...

Yeah, before some of you get nasty, I spelled a word wrong because I was upset. It is "money"; not "many." Have fun with it!

Anonymous said...

We're all in the same boat Vashti. Please don't get bitter. And please don't lose sleep like Tessa S

The Judge said...

It has never been my intention to make the writers of USAVOICE feel bad for what's happened to them. As I said in my article, I am one of them. I didnt sign the paperwork (the electronic contract form) but for some reason I got set up with a back office anyway. Its interesting at just how badly that site is adminstrated.

My offer to any USAVOICE writer stems from the fact that I need more writers here. That's all. And if someone wants to get their stuff posted to a site, I would be happy for the extra hands.

I like to think that bitter and angry are staples of my writing style and the more people I can get writing for me that way, the better Media Morgue will be.

The Judge said...

Oh and yeah. It should be Chief and not cheif. "I before e, except after C...etc"

tzs said...

Dear Anonymous,

I am not bitter and I have not lost any sleep and I do not feel I have to hide behind "anonymous" to post a comment. I feel all the mean-spirited, little back-stabbing slanderers such as yourself need to grow a conscience and some courage. You may be one of the cowering few that posted all of those rotten comments under other's honest work, or you may be just a snivelling little coward getting your rocks off by making fun of others for doing what pleases them. Well, either way, those are your issues. Dry out or take some extra meds; give the the rest of us some peace.

Well, Judge,I have been accused of being a name-caller, a scammer, a man, and a few other things I will not even mention (all sent to me via e-mail and anonymous comments, and anonymous remarks on blogs such as this) only for trying to stick up for people that want to write and make their own choices and not get involved in witch hunts. Some even had their minions write me back and chastise me for calling a spade a spade... childish...

Well, I would send you samples of my biting comments, but I don't think it is required. I can hold my own with the best of them (or in this case the worst of them). I may be posting some critiques in the future. Thanks for the invitation, and I do enjoy your sarcastic honesty.

tzs said...

Vashti,

I too took a position writing because it is enjoyable and can be entertaining. Instead others turned it into a circus because they do not know how to listen; hear only what they want to hear and must get some cheap thrill out of hurting others. Probably makes up for their real dislike of themselves.

Don't let any of this get you down. You are honorable and so are the majority of the reporters and editors at USA Voice.

The Judge said...

I agree. Again, its not the reporters that are at fault here. Its the scam artists that are running USAVOICE.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for giving me a heads up on this scam. I have a phone interview with the editor today at 2pm. And of course, I am not going to waste my time. I can't remember if i applied to them or if they found me on careerbuilder or monster, but I am glad I am aware of this scam. I plan on fowarding this to all of my friends, because it is a shame that a new graduate can not find a decent job in this world, without scams left and right. Thanks Again.

Anonymous said...

It appears that some of the people who have decided to stick with USA Voice are mounting a negative email campaign against the reporters and editors who have filed complaints with the FBI and FTC against USA Voice. I have received several. Articles supporting USA Voice have started appearing on the site despite the fact that no one has been paid or had their questions answered about future payments.
These emails are being sent to personal addresses (not published on the site) rather than the USA Voice email addresses that are easily figured out from the bylines. So for the record - it is not childish or cowardly to seek redress for wrongs; the FBI is the appropriate authority to investigate when people in more than one state are involved.

TT said...

Yeah, but not only "some of the people" I'm afraid. Looks like USAVoice has been able to generate this mass mailing (see ranking graph in Alexa) using a zombie network which is not consisting of remotely operated hijacked computers, but of real people operating their own computers. Very disturbing development, imho.

Hollywood Dump on Facebook

In addition to the articles we post here, we also link to stories we think are interesting and post them to our Facebook page. If you're on FB, become a fan!