Movie Review: Stealth

When this movie first came out, Sony scored a deal with Tivo owners to have their DVRs automatically record the first 8 minutes of the film as a way to generate interest. I remember watching about 3 minutes of the freebie and thinking the film was a load of crap. I decided right then and there that I was not going to see the movie on the grounds that it appeared to be yet another bang-bang, shoot-em-up, wanna-be Top Gun, insult to my intelligence. From the piss-poor box office numbers and the flood of bad reviews that came out after it was released, it appears that I had guessed correctly and thus saved myself the $12 and anguish of watching this thing in the theater.

But when I saw that it was on cable the other night, the thought occurred to me that perhaps I hadn't given the film a fair chance in my original review. Maybe I was just in a bad mood or something at the time. So since I had the time, I figured I would give it another chance to entertain me. Maybe I judged it unfairly.

Nope. I was right the first time: The movie blows goats.

But what I really find amusing about this film is not how bad it was; how incredibly corny the dialog; how unbelievably, mind-numbingly implausible the storyline was or even how nauseating the jerky camera action was to hide the flagrant overuse of CGI. What I find REALLY amusing was that after digging around the net for more information on the movie, I discovered that the folks at Aint It Cool thought it was good.

AICN's original review said it was "an OK flick" proving that Jabba the Hutt and his self-important entourage will bend over for anything Hollywood wants to shove up their bloated, pimple-encrusted gelatinous asses.

"Stealth" is without a doubt one of the worst films of 2005.

Just thought you all should be reminded of that, should anyone be inclined to watch it on cable TV.

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