Working for the Hollywood Dump

So you want to work at the dump, eh? Well it aint for the squeamish, kid. You think you got what it takes? Read on.

Here's what we're looking for:
We need journalists that want to talk about all the terrible things that Hollywood presents us with: All the bad movies. All the pathetic television shows. All the steamy gossip. All the dirty...well, dirt. We want it. If you have a flair for acid-tongued irreverence and can frequently write about the idiocy and plastic nonsense generated daily by the Hollywood machine, these may be the droids you're looking for.

So what do you get for writing for HD?

Let me make this perfectly clear: YOU WILL NOT BE PAID. Not a dime. Not a penny. Not now, probably not ever. Sorry. We dont make a whole lot of money (seriously, its pennies per month) and that loose change goes right back into keeping the site going.

If you write for Hollywood Dump, you write for me; The Judge: A sarcastic, seditious, smart-ass sultan of sardonic schadenfreude; An evil little lawn gnome that likes to poke at the big dogs of Hollywood with a very small, pointy stick. This site exists for the pure and simple reason that venting frustration at what Hollywood considers "entertainment" makes for good, cheap therapy. If that appeals to you, we'd love to have you join us.

Journalists who write for Hollywood Dump will receive a press credential, guaranteed to get them thrown out of, or denied access to all the finest celebrity hangouts in Southern California. Oh and you will probably have to sell your soul as well, but I may send you a nifty aged parchment you can hang on your wall if I think you're worthy.

In short, I am looking for people that can be an asshole in 500 words or less. If you think you've got the chops, then here is your first assignment:

Send me an email telling me why you want to write for us. Include writing samples if you have them, or just tell me in your own typical style why you want to be a Hollywood Dump Reporter and how you can contribute to the site.

So there you have it. Pretty simple.

You'll be hearing from us.

The Judge
Cheif Editor & Lord High Everything Else


Brad said...

Don't forget "willing to work for free..."

The Judge said...

That was covered in paragraph 3.

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