So you want to work at the dump, eh? There's a lot of garbage in the big city. You think you got what it takes to sort the treasure from the trash? Read on.
Here's what we're looking for:
We need journalists that want to talk about all the trashy things that Hollywood presents us with: All the bad movies. All the pathetic television shows. All the stupid business deals, closed-door conferences, actor tantrums, editing nightmares and marketing hi jinks. All the dirty...well, dirt. We want it. If you have a flair for acid-tongued irreverence and can frequently write about the idiocy and plastic nonsense generated daily by Hollywood, then these may be the droids you're looking for.
So what do you get for writing for HD?
Let me make this perfectly clear: YOU WILL NOT BE PAID. Not a dime. Not a penny. Not now, probably not ever. Sorry. Not to sound like a tyrant, but we don't make a whole lot of money (seriously, its pennies per month) and all that loose change goes right back into keeping the site going. If in the future should some sugar daddy corporate advertiser wants to give us lots of money to hock their new line of laptops or something, then (and only then) we can talk about actually paying you for your hard work. Until that happens, if you are in this for the money, you're in the wrong place.
If you write for Hollywood Dump, you write for me; The Judge: A sarcastic, seditious, smart-ass sultan of sardonic schadenfreude; An evil little lawn gnome that likes to poke at the big dogs of Hollywood with a very small, pointy stick. I've been in and around the business of Hollywood for over 25 years and this site originally started for the pure and simple reason that venting frustration at what Hollywood considers "entertainment" makes for good, cheap therapy. If that appeals to you, we'd love to have you join us.
Journalists who write for Hollywood Dump will receive a press credential, guaranteed to get them thrown out of, or denied access to all the finest celebrity hangouts in Southern California. Oh and you will probably have to sell your soul as well, but I may send you a nifty certificate you can hang on your wall if I think you're worthy.
In short, I am looking for people that can be an asshole in 500 words or less. If you think you've got the chops, then here is your first assignment:
Send me an email telling me why you want to write for us. Include writing samples if you have them, or just tell me in your own typical style why you want to be a Hollywood Dump Reporter and how you can contribute to the site.
So there you have it. Pretty simple.
You'll be hearing from us.
Cheif Editor & Lord High Everything Else